DON'T ASSUME SH*T
Alysia_Snowflake
  • Reads 3
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  • Parts 1
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  • Reads 3
  • Votes 0
  • Parts 1
  • Time <5 mins
Alysia_Snowflake
Ongoing, First published Feb 12, 2018
Mature
alysiasnowflakeassumptioncomedyconfidencedontassumeshitheartbreakhighschoolhumormisunderstandingreferenceromance
Don't assume, never assume things when it comes to love....it's best to be blunt. Assuming things only gets people hurt. It only makes you think you know shit when really........you don't know anything. 

¨Look he's just not that into me, and i doubt he ever will be, and ya know what that's totally alright with me.¨ Said Megan quite matter of factually. 

¨Okay first of all, I have seen first hand the way he stares at you, and trust me that's not the friendly hi nice to meet you kind of smile!¨ It literally takes everything in me not to yell. 

I watch as the guy in question walks over to us, he goes to reach for a plastic fork at exactly the same time Megan does. This is it the cliche moment I've been waiting for!!! Both of their hands go  into the basket and...a look of shock crosses their faces one at a time, slowly they pull theirs hands up and. AND! ......What the literal Fuck....at the same time they both pull up their hands and inside their enclosed fists are plastic forks.

¨ARE YOU FUCKING PISSING IN MY CEREAL RIGHT NOW!?¨ Everyone snaps their heads towards me, Megan, and Mister train wreck both give me toothy grins, like their lack of sexual tension is funny.
All Rights Reserved
alysiasnowflakeassumptioncomedyconfidencedontassumeshitheartbreakhighschoolhumormisunderstandingreferenceromance
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How To Be The Best Third Wheel cover

How To Be The Best Third Wheel

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