Its just the way I am
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- Parts 1
***W A R N I N G***
-This may contain things readers may find disturbing or uncomfortable. It contains swearing and self-harm and other things so viewers discretion is advised-
Ida Mabel Jays was born into a normal family. Her father was a well-accomplished doctor her mother worked at the local library doing volunteer work and her older brother became one of her best friends...Before everything slowly began tearing at the seams...
Falling to pieces she shielded herself off from the world only letting one person in her small bubble. Her brother Kestin. Other than that her fake smiles and glazes over eyes created a mask that convinced people she was okay when on the inside she was on the edge of a cliff preparing to jump.
Until he came along...
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This story tackles the struggles with mental health, suicidal tendencies and family issues. It will hopefully remind people to keep their minds open and look out for the people who need help...even if they don't look like they need it.
All Rights Reserved
#194
brokenfamily
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DIABOLIC SERIES 3 All my life I've lost my breath. It would happen over the simplest things, if I stretched too high to catch a ball, lifted something for too long, if I sneezed, if I talked. Other times I would loose my breath because I had a panic attack, or was yelling or being yelled at, if I was exerting myself on a physical level. Having the wind knocked out of me is a familiar feeling. But I didn't truly know what it felt like to loose the air in my lungs, loose the feeling that has kept my alive my entire life. I didn't loose it when I fell in love, I didn't loose it when I found out one drunken night with the girl I love would mean a baby, I didn't loose it when I found out that I'd actually be a father. No, I lost that when she told me that she doesn't love me. When she spit in my face how much she can't stand me, how I've ruined her life, that she doesn't want me in any aspect. I'm not her 'type' whatever that means, seeing as she quite willingly had sex with me. Her saying this made this ugly, lonely and depressing thought hit my diaphragm. Violet Thompson is carrying my child. And she despises me for it. The way I came to this conclusion was simple, Nonnie- -that's what I call her, since her middle name's Noel and I wanted something to call her that if I shouted it in the middle of a crowd, only she would turn to and know it's me- -told me that all she wants is someone there. A father for her baby, a physical presence. Not a mind, personality. Not a person. A body. A shell. I've been a dead man walking. And I was that shell, was just a body... until I found him.
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