The Self I Hide
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Not long ago there was this kid whose parents went out one night for a special dinner and never came back. No one's really sure what happened but, they were both dead by morning. Since this 15-year-old couldn't live alone, the poor orphan ended up moving from the free city of Chicago to one of the most conservative cities in the entire United States, Amarillo, Texas. New school, new friends, maybe, and a new life. From the top to the bottom, literally.
If you haven't guessed already, this kid is me.
Hi, I'm Charlie Meadows. I'm 15 and I identify non-binary. I couldn't tell anyone though. Not after my parents died. They wouldn't understand the depression, or the anxiety, or the dysphoria. I'd have to manage on my own from now on.
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chicagoblackhawks
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ORIGINAL:The Boy With A Touch Of Cancer(BxB)
"Leo pinned me against the wall with his hips; his hands gently gripping my wrists, keeping my arms above my head against the cool brick behind me. His beautiful, hazy blue eyes -that had turned straight quicksilver, again- were filled with such an intense, carnal desire I couldn't even look into them, so I looked over his shoulder. I saw a small group of kids from the group standing out by their cars who would easily be able to see what we were doing...or at least what Leo was doing to me. At that moment, my mind started wandering to all the things that I could be doing to him right now...but I stopped that train of thought, immediately, as it started heading to all the wrong places... All the dirty places... All of those places involving a very hard part of my body... I glanced back at Leo; his gaze was still as intense as it was before (unfortunately). He smirked at me and said confidently, "You can't ignore me forever, Ethan. You're eventually gonna fall for my charms..." Ethan Carter was focused on 2 things. 1. School (obviously) and 2. Getting over ex (it's proving to be, harder than he thought), but now he has to add dying to that list, and suddenly having feelings for a boy (which has happened once before, but Ethan tries to forget it). Leo Malone makes Ethan feel things he's never felt for another guy. Leo's sweet, patient, and understanding, the only problem is, he's a guy. Ethan tries to ignore the fact that his heart flutters every time he sees Leo, or that he can't ever stop thinking about him; but if having cancer has taught him one thing, it's that, "You have to live in the present, as you may not have a future."Complete![Book I: to cross oceans for [BxB] (trans) - completed](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/139167243-256-k51295.jpg)
Book I: to cross oceans for [BxB] (trans) - completed
"What if I'm not one?" I asked, my body wound tight with tension. "One what?" he asked, his voice soft and low. I hesitated. Was I ready? I wanted to tell him so badly. Wanted to scream it from the fucking rooftops. But there would be no going back if I allowed the words to spill out into the world. Telling myself I didn't need someone else's validation, that I knew myself well enough to know with absolute certainty that I was trans was all good and well in principle. But lying here underneath my bed, with my best friend's body pressed so close to mine I could feel his warm breath on my face, I felt those convictions slip through my fingers. Danny's rejection would break me. In a fundamental way. "One what?" he repeated the question, scooting so close to me the tip of his nose brushed mine. Dust motes danced around us, suspended in mid air, teetering on the brink of this momentous feeling wrapping itself around us. I squeezed my eyes shut, pushing down the rush of anxiety trying to drown me. His nose bumped mine again and his breath ghosted over my lips. I opened my eyes and stared unblinkingly into his. 'A girl', I wanted to say, even though I knew the words would taste sour in my mouth, 'what if I'm not a girl?' -------------------------------------- Sean and Danny have been next door neighbours and best friends since they were six years old. They've shared almost everything. From first kisses and crushes to heartbreak. But Sean has a secret. One he's never shared with his best friend - who's also the guy he's been in love with since he's known what love is. Sean is trans and struggling to come out. But it's Senior year and choices have to be made. Between college applications, uncovering a plan to hurt one of their classmates and his relationship with Danny, Sean is struggling with doing the right thing and graduating high school in one piece. ⭐to cross oceans for is PART I of Sean and Danny's story⭐ *TW: sexual assault and bullying *Complete
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"Leo pinned me against the wall with his hips; his hands gently gripping my wrists, keeping my arms above my head against the cool brick behind me. His beautiful, hazy blue eyes -that had turned straight quicksilver, again- were filled with such an intense, carnal desire I couldn't even look into them, so I looked over his shoulder. I saw a small group of kids from the group standing out by their cars who would easily be able to see what we were doing...or at least what Leo was doing to me. At that moment, my mind started wandering to all the things that I could be doing to him right now...but I stopped that train of thought, immediately, as it started heading to all the wrong places... All the dirty places... All of those places involving a very hard part of my body... I glanced back at Leo; his gaze was still as intense as it was before (unfortunately). He smirked at me and said confidently, "You can't ignore me forever, Ethan. You're eventually gonna fall for my charms..." Ethan Carter was focused on 2 things. 1. School (obviously) and 2. Getting over ex (it's proving to be, harder than he thought), but now he has to add dying to that list, and suddenly having feelings for a boy (which has happened once before, but Ethan tries to forget it). Leo Malone makes Ethan feel things he's never felt for another guy. Leo's sweet, patient, and understanding, the only problem is, he's a guy. Ethan tries to ignore the fact that his heart flutters every time he sees Leo, or that he can't ever stop thinking about him; but if having cancer has taught him one thing, it's that, "You have to live in the present, as you may not have a future."
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