Danger

I keep finding myself stifled by the company of others and then crippled by loneliness when I leave them. I am terrified and I don't even know of what, because I lost everything already. He is dangerous; uncertain of what will happen. One day he's there, and the other he disappears among the world around him. I want to see him, I want to see him so badly. That's the only thing I'm really certain of, and the only thing I can say with confidence. I'm not totally mad at him, I'm just sad. It's like he's locked up in a tiny little world of his, and when I try knocking on the door, he sort of just looks up for a second and goes right back inside. When I'm around him, I'm not terrified. I know I should be, but I'm not. He's dangerous because he has my heart, but won't return it. He steps on it and hurts it just as much as I want to do the same. I can't do anything because he's gone before I can give an explanation, and I'm left there thinking to myself why it was ever a good idea to get involved with him. It is like he makes sure that he hurts me enough that I can't walk away without having pain in my chest. The only thing I am afraid of is losing him because I know once I lose him, I can never ever get that rush of a feeling that I won't ever be safe again. Once I'm no longer safe, my world is becomes dangerous. I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen. He's dangerous for a while, but that is until I take over. And they don't just call it danger for nothing.