Self-Titled (A Collection of Autobiographical Stories)

This is a collection of true events that have (and still are!) transpired other the last few years of my life.
Some stuff you should know about my and this book:
My name is Archie, I'm an alcoholic, (Hi Archie),
I have a disease and they don't know what to call it,
Better hide your wallet cause I'm comin' up quick to strip your cash,
Bought a ticket to your concert just to come and whip your ass.
Bitch, I'm comin' out swingin', so fast it'll make your eyes spin,
You gettin' knocked the fuck out like Mike Tyson,
The Proof is in the puddin', just ask the Deshaun Holton,
I'll slit your motherfuckin' throat worse than Ron Goldman.
(I like rhyme!)
So if you haven't gathered, this is very explicit, very violent and some will find it upsetting and disturbing. Your discretion is advised, and this is NSFC, and NSFW.
If you suffer from depression, anxiety, or any serious mental condition i advise you, to only read if you are aware of the effects.
After clicking read, you have agreed, not to try this at home.