Before I start, shoutout to my man itrulydohaveachance, for giving me the ungodly idea for... WHATEVER THIS IS... Well...OKAY... This is going to be one hell of a first fanfic... A quick backstory to this monstrosity;I sent a pic of some random Whole Foods to my friend with the caption "ITS GLORIOUS". Then he jokingly suggests to replace all of the Shreks in "Shrek is love, Shrek is life" with Whole Foods. This is the result. And no, I won't pay for your therapy sessions in the case you DO make it through the whole thing.