Emotional Amnesia - C.A. Kerst - Wattpad

Emotional Amnesia

Reads 3,663
Votes 482
Parts 98
Time 50m

Reads 3,663
Votes 482
Parts 98
Time 50m

abuse cutting dead death drugs emo emotional hurt love pills poems poetry sad tears

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say, "I know you're not".

I have felt like this many times in my life; as a kid, teenager and as an adult. I have seen many things in my life and felt even more things that has been horribly depressing...
But I got up. I stood up to walk on for another day. I dealt with my emotional amnesia the only way I knew I could and that was by writing it out into poetry.
I wanted to forget my pain and forget what I was going through. I needed that cut of the blade or a pill to drink to take everything away. My poetry became both my pill and my blade...

Now I share the most intimate part of myself with the world. The part of me I kept hidden in the closet. The part I never thought I would ever present to the world. Now is the time I have to stop having amnesia about my emotions. It is time to learn, to better myself and to stand up and remember the things that I shut out like a voluntary amnesia all these years. 

Those who are offended after reading this - f**k you! If you are sad with me and willing to cut your wrist - I know how you feel! If you just enjoy the words - I love you!

#679 in Poetry on 17/03/2018
#779 in Poetry on 18/03/2018
#807 in Poetry on 19/03/2018
#474 in Poetry on 22/03/2018All Rights Reserved

abuse cutting dead death drugs emo emotional hurt love pills poems poetry sad tears

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98 parts

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Secret Mind ✓ by sadlyish

"She's right! She's right! I don't cut in the right spot." My hold tightens on my wrist. The red blood oozes out of my wrist. I slide up and grab my bag and run out of the bathroom. I don't care if people can see the blood I just want to get out. I race for the doors and shove through people. I earn a lot of glares and glances that read "weirdo." I ignore and push. I run to my house and lock myself in my bathroom. I don't bother closing the front door cause I don't care if people come in to kill me. I grab my razor and cut deep cuts into my arm and wrists falling into a pool of my own blood. • • • Evangeline has a great life. Friends? Check! Good grades? Check! Loving family? Check! But what if she has secrets that nobody knows of? What if the only thing she can trust is her secret diary? What if slowly but surly she's dying inside? How can an innocent twelve year old deal with these problems? Will she keep on facing these problem till the day she breaks. Her school burns down forcing her into a different school to meet different people and she has to fit into a different lifestyle as well. Meet Evangeline. Now at 17 years of age in a new high school. Not all girls anymore. No uniform. Meet Drake. Your classic bad-boy. He just moved to Saint Abigail high school. He is assigned partners with the quiet, calm, unnoticed Evangeline. As time progresses he finds that she isn't as happy on the inside as she is on the outside. Can he save her? Or is it too late? • • • Some rude language. Depression and cutting. Don't say I didn't warn you. Okay, I wrote this at the start of this year (may 2016) and I had very poor writing skills. This book hasn't been edited and the whole idea is cliche so I wouldn't recommend you read it but I'm not stopping you, either. Read at your own risk. • • • Copyright © 2017 by -moonlust. All rights reserved.

The Days With No Sun by hello-no-one

Sometimes we fear truth over reality. But things get dark and heavy and we play the blame game. We end up hurting others or ourselves even. We don't think before we act or we don't say before we do. This is the evolution of my madness. A cluster of rants and thoughts and poems for you guys. Everything is written how I wanted it to be rants will be long with few pauses and there will be mistakes I might have skipped over. Aha. Poems at the beginning from when I was 15 years old to now when Im 18. Truly a visual of my writing evolution. Edited by @ChemicalStarling who writes a lot but never posts! Read on, loves. I'll see you on the other side...

SENSITIVE STRINGS by theautumnversion

August is slipping through our hands like a half-sipped bottle of wine and this year for me has been the most Unhinged, deranged, yet somehow on some level chic and comforting. I found and discovered things I never thought I would and I lost some things of great meaning which also I never thought I would. This year sure has been a rollercoaster of a ride, and the most terrifying thing about this is that the year hasn't even finished yet. I've felt a lot of emotions like madness, happiness, sadness and confusion and homesick-hysterion and a flash mobs of questions posted in my mind like post it notes just screaming. And so I got tired of them. And I wrote an anthology of the events that happened to me this year and have happened to me in the past. This is a concept record. Each track is a letter to someone, or some situation where I wanted to say I lot of things... But I couldn't so I decided to let my mind and heart intertwine, and speak those words that I couldn't. I hold Sensitive Strings close to my heart because it's my first anthology. Although it might not seem like it right now, but in future after release of several other anthologies, I want to look back at this record and just laugh, because it's a depressingly funny record of an 18 year old queer boy, and it's probably things that most people relate to because unlike *coughs* some people, I don't gatekeep my trauma as unique, because it's trauma not a competition. I hope that you all will love this record as much as I do. And I hope that Sensitive Strings will keave you all to want more. And I promise with me more is always coming. I just want to say to all those people who supported me in this, Especially all of my friends, you know who you are. I love you and this wouldn't have been possible without you. With all your love to me, And your greatest empathy, I take this step further without looking back now, SENSITIVE STRINGS IS OUT NOW. Love you & Thank you. Riv.

Catastrophically Carla (Lesbian Story) by xpaaulettex

Ages 14+ (lesbian concepts and some profanity) This is not your everyday love story, okay? It's not a chick flick either. The events and themes within my pages have meaning, depth, truth-and most of all, reality. You are about to be taken on an adventure about a girl who's life is not like everybody else's. I look like a normal teen girl, I mean, I have hair and two eyes and two hands and feet like everybody else, but I couldn't feel more different. I have two moms, yes. Let's just get that out there before you start reading and close my diary like everyone in my life has shut me out of theirs. All I want is a normal life with normal friends who don't judge me because of my home situation. I don't even remember the last time I went on a sleepover or called somebody my age. I don't mean to be a downer, because it does get better. Life gets better. Struggles are only temporary, I know that now. And by my last words reach your eyes, I've come a long way, and have grown to see potential in myself. I'm sharing this with you because I want to make a difference. I know now that I'm not the only one in the world that feels alone. I've been there, done that, and there's more loneliness to come, but for now, I feel more prepared for it. I know how it feels to sit by yourself at lunch every day and how it feels to watch others go to prom with dates and feel like shit because you don't think you'd even have any friends to go with. Please ready my diary. I am much older now, and much more wiser, and I can't wait for you to realize the potential in yourself, too.

Broken Promise////Billie Eilish by chocolatey_love

"But you said! you told me you love me!" I yelled at her tears streaming down my face. She looks at me and shrugs smiling, "I didn't mean it. I was just playing around. Wanted to know what it was like. And you know I love him." "You wrote it! 'If I love you was a promise would you break it if your honest' it was a promise! you can't break a promise!" I sob out clenching the end of my shirt tightly. "How old are you? Fucking 10? Promises are made to be broken. At least I'm being true to staying honest. Wake up y/n, this is reality. I'm not even gay! I was just curious." She says rolling her eyes. "So you chose me to play with? To hurt? You think my feelings aren't valid just because I'm a lesbian? So you play with my feelings! You're just a selfish bitch! I fucking hate you Billie!" I yell unable to control my emotions anymore. "Okay? Well if that was it, I'm leaving. Brandon's waiting for me in the car." She says with a laugh. I look up to met her ocean eyes filled with amusement and accomplishment. I look at her with disgust and walk away. Away from her, hopefully forever.

Words Unspoken by shadowofthoughts

There is a community of the spirit. Join it, and feel the delight of walking in the noisy street, and being the noise. Drink all your passion, and be a disgrace. Close both eyes to see with the other eye. Open your hands, if you want to be held. Sit down in this circle. Quit acting like a wolf, and feel the shepherd's love filling you. At night, your beloved wanders. Don't accept consolations. Close your mouth against food. Taste the food. You moan, "She left me." "He left me." Twenty more will come. Be empty of worrying. Think of who created thought! Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open? Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking. Live in silence. Flow down and down in always widening rings of being. There's a strange frenzy in my head, of birds, flying, each particle circulating on its own. Is the one I love everywhere? Drunks fear the police, but the police are drunk too. People in this town love them both like different chess pieces. ----------------------------------- All things that we hide in our hearts eat us alive. This book is - full of emotions, love, care and agitation. Well, you need to read this to know what's in. Moreover, It consists of quotes, snippets, poems, bits of advice...Ummm simply deep and random stuff. Go Ahead! HIGHEST rank #1 in poetry as of 19.02.2018 ----------------------------------- 4/10/17 --- 19/04/18

A Little Bit Of Joy | ✔ by wigglysubu

[Featured by wattpad romance, teen fiction, young adult and psychologicalnovel] Joy Jones was a seventeen-year-old kind and optimistic girl working in her grandpa's flower shop, but she had a secret. She was suffering from acute lymphoblastic leukaemia and wanted nothing, but to die peacefully. That was until Logan Kellerman, a young man with suicidal tendencies came storming into her life and stole roses from her grandpa's flower shop. Instead of running away with what he came for, he found himself falling deeper and deeper into her as she made his heart skip in delight, for she was, in her own words, a little bit of Joy. * * * from some of my readers of this book, thanks❤- ❝I LOVE YOUR STORY OKAY. THIS STORY AND YOUR WRITING- IT GIVES ME HOPE YOU KNOW.❞ - aimawrites ❝This is so different than so many stereotypical stories on here and i'm so glad i read it.❞ -lepus_leporis ❝They're both so poetic and beautiful and perfect for each other. GAHHhh I love them.❞ - alycecaswell ❝The way she vividly describes the world makes me so happy. Heat keeps rushing to my cheeks in pure euphoric joy. This book is making me so grateful for everything around me and I never want it to end.❞ - nylammeeyn [highest rank: 7 in sad] [cover by soulanatomy]

NOW YOU SEE," THE REAL ME" UNDER MAJOR EDITING by darkxdestruction

NOW YOU SEE "THE REAL ME" #1 IN THE SERIES OF POETRY BOOKS //SAD POETRY EDITION (under major editing) "My heart was taken by you, broken by you, and now it's in pieces because of you" My poems aren't the best. The first few poems may not seem worthy of being read but... later down in the book they get better. To some, my poems are beautiful; to some, my poems are shitty and they are rubbish💀. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! I can't promise that your time won't be wasted reading this book. I'm not a professional poet so expect the worst. This book isn't for everyone. It's sad, a little motivating and dark. If you aren't into sad poems don't read this book, it isn't for you. This book contains some of my thoughts,mostly about me or the people around me or just society in general. If you are feeling sad or depressed, please seek help. I know how much it hurts but it isn't too late to heal. Cover made on postermywall ♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡ Rankings: #1 in sad poet out of 23 07/25/2021 #2 in deep thought out of 4. 8 K stories 07/25/2021 #2 in thoughts out of 73. 4 K stories 07/25/2021 #3 in sad poems out of 10.1 K stories 07/25/2021 #3 in thoughts and feelings out of 10.1 K stories 07/25/2021 #6 in poet out of 14.3 K stories 07/25/2021 #40 in deep out of 26.6 K stories 07/25/2021 #48 in depressing out of 18. 3 K stories 07/25/2021

Moments of gladness, moments of sadness & everything in-between. by SonnetsByXander

I'm an 18 year old boy with Cerebral Palsy, depression and anxiety. I'm a British Hipster Punk Fuck who has dreams of happiness and independence. Living with my difficulties can be saddening and difficult so to cope I draw (follow my Instagram: alex_likes_airguns) and write poems apparently! The interest in writing is fairly new and I have no idea how to really write enjoyable things. I'm an illustrator by trade so this whole writing stuff is new to me, apologies for bad grammar. This notwithstanding I needed somewhere to store my poems so this book and my account now exists I guess! Enjoy!

Serendipity by vintxqe_kc

Oh, the life of a teenage girl. It seems like high school never gets easier especially when it comes to love. Happiness was like a diamond, rare until she found someone that made her happy without even expecting it. She will learn what love really is, the challenges that come with it, and how far she will go for someone she truly cares about. *This is a fictional story* *Some profanity included* Disclaimer: This story is structured like my past and made to represent my love life but in a fictional sense. What that means not every event that happened was real. Not every character I made and their actions were real. This is purely for entertainment purposes only. Do not take this so seriously! Thx you!! ;) Photo credit: All are on Pinterest except for 1 Part 1: Winamaulidiya Part 2: 7anime.net Part 3: Sad Chill 🥀 Part 4: keyrin.diary.ru Part 5: Luna Witch Part 6: SigZero Part 7: Susza Lindner w/PicsArt sticker Part 8: 2d.frisuren2019.top Part 9: pbs.twimg.com on Pinterest and ImNotFuckingJoke on Wattpad Part 10: Beatrice Art Ideas Part 11: Hello Beautiful Part 12: Giselle Huerta Part 13: LaLaLove Anime

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Slide 1 of 10

Secret Mind ✓ cover

The Days With No Sun cover

SENSITIVE STRINGS cover

Catastrophically Carla (Lesbian Story) cover

Broken Promise////Billie Eilish cover

Words Unspoken cover

A Little Bit Of Joy | ✔ cover

NOW YOU SEE," THE REAL ME" UNDER MAJOR EDITING cover

Moments of gladness, moments of sadness & everything in-between. cover

Serendipity cover

Secret Mind ✓

"She's right! She's right! I don't cut in the right spot." My hold tightens on my wrist. The red blood oozes out of my wrist. I slide up and grab my bag and run out of the bathroom. I don't care if people can see the blood I just want to get out. I race for the doors and shove through people. I earn a lot of glares and glances that read "weirdo." I ignore and push. I run to my house and lock myself in my bathroom. I don't bother closing the front door cause I don't care if people come in to kill me. I grab my razor and cut deep cuts into my arm and wrists falling into a pool of my own blood. • • • Evangeline has a great life. Friends? Check! Good grades? Check! Loving family? Check! But what if she has secrets that nobody knows of? What if the only thing she can trust is her secret diary? What if slowly but surly she's dying inside? How can an innocent twelve year old deal with these problems? Will she keep on facing these problem till the day she breaks. Her school burns down forcing her into a different school to meet different people and she has to fit into a different lifestyle as well. Meet Evangeline. Now at 17 years of age in a new high school. Not all girls anymore. No uniform. Meet Drake. Your classic bad-boy. He just moved to Saint Abigail high school. He is assigned partners with the quiet, calm, unnoticed Evangeline. As time progresses he finds that she isn't as happy on the inside as she is on the outside. Can he save her? Or is it too late? • • • Some rude language. Depression and cutting. Don't say I didn't warn you. Okay, I wrote this at the start of this year (may 2016) and I had very poor writing skills. This book hasn't been edited and the whole idea is cliche so I wouldn't recommend you read it but I'm not stopping you, either. Read at your own risk. • • • Copyright © 2017 by -moonlust. All rights reserved.