Emotional Amnesia - C.A. Kerst - Wattpad

Emotional Amnesia

Reads 3,676
Votes 483
Parts 98
Time 50m

Reads 3,676
Votes 483
Parts 98
Time 50m

abuse cutting dead death drugs emo emotional hurt love pills poems poetry sad tears

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say, "I know you're not".

I have felt like this many times in my life; as a kid, teenager and as an adult. I have seen many things in my life and felt even more things that has been horribly depressing...
But I got up. I stood up to walk on for another day. I dealt with my emotional amnesia the only way I knew I could and that was by writing it out into poetry.
I wanted to forget my pain and forget what I was going through. I needed that cut of the blade or a pill to drink to take everything away. My poetry became both my pill and my blade...

Now I share the most intimate part of myself with the world. The part of me I kept hidden in the closet. The part I never thought I would ever present to the world. Now is the time I have to stop having amnesia about my emotions. It is time to learn, to better myself and to stand up and remember the things that I shut out like a voluntary amnesia all these years. 

Those who are offended after reading this - f**k you! If you are sad with me and willing to cut your wrist - I know how you feel! If you just enjoy the words - I love you!

#679 in Poetry on 17/03/2018
#779 in Poetry on 18/03/2018
#807 in Poetry on 19/03/2018
#474 in Poetry on 22/03/2018All Rights Reserved

abuse cutting dead death drugs emo emotional hurt love pills poems poetry sad tears

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98 parts

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Evolution by andshesmiles

There are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have been more wrong. Love in this day and age is often confused for manipulation and abuse. The warning signs are here. The things we say will tell us everything that is wrong. You are worth more than what you think you are. It's not your fault. If they tell you otherwise, get out. Burn the bridge. Always remember someone is waiting for you to walk into their life. Someone needs you. Someone loves you. Getting away from all of the wrong people and finding the right ones could save you. I can promise you right now that it saved me. These are the journal entries and selected poems from my first experience of love that left a unpleasant taste in my mouth- quite literally. I am putting this out for the whole world to see because I hope everyone will learn from my experience. People can see. We have no excuses to continue living our lives in ignorance. ...WARNING... HARMFUL THEMES INCLUDING MENTION OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, AND RAPE. THIS HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT. RECOVERY AND AWARENESS IS THE PURPOSE OF SHARING. DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE OFFENSIVE OR HARMFUL TO YOU.

Moments of gladness, moments of sadness & everything in-between. by SonnetsByXander

I'm an 18 year old boy with Cerebral Palsy, depression and anxiety. I'm a British Hipster Punk Fuck who has dreams of happiness and independence. Living with my difficulties can be saddening and difficult so to cope I draw (follow my Instagram: alex_likes_airguns) and write poems apparently! The interest in writing is fairly new and I have no idea how to really write enjoyable things. I'm an illustrator by trade so this whole writing stuff is new to me, apologies for bad grammar. This notwithstanding I needed somewhere to store my poems so this book and my account now exists I guess! Enjoy!

Words Unspoken by shadowofthoughts

There is a community of the spirit. Join it, and feel the delight of walking in the noisy street, and being the noise. Drink all your passion, and be a disgrace. Close both eyes to see with the other eye. Open your hands, if you want to be held. Sit down in this circle. Quit acting like a wolf, and feel the shepherd's love filling you. At night, your beloved wanders. Don't accept consolations. Close your mouth against food. Taste the food. You moan, "She left me." "He left me." Twenty more will come. Be empty of worrying. Think of who created thought! Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open? Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking. Live in silence. Flow down and down in always widening rings of being. There's a strange frenzy in my head, of birds, flying, each particle circulating on its own. Is the one I love everywhere? Drunks fear the police, but the police are drunk too. People in this town love them both like different chess pieces. ----------------------------------- All things that we hide in our hearts eat us alive. This book is - full of emotions, love, care and agitation. Well, you need to read this to know what's in. Moreover, It consists of quotes, snippets, poems, bits of advice...Ummm simply deep and random stuff. Go Ahead! HIGHEST rank #1 in poetry as of 19.02.2018 ----------------------------------- 4/10/17 --- 19/04/18

The Words I couldn't Say by -silentmochi

This is a place for me to put all the things I wish I said but I just couldn't. These are a way for me to "say" these things without actually saying them to the person I want to. I probably won't ever go back or read any of these because it's like revisiting a bad memory so don't expect much in terms of editing. Also I wouldn't consider this poetry but it is laid out that way. WARNING Talk of depression, suicide, anxiety, and self harm. Don't read if you don't like things like that and may get triggered. I don't mean to cause anyone problems of any sort, but these are the things I feel and can't help. Please keep negativity away as this is a sensitive subject for a lot of people. Thank you. Highest rankings: 99 in sadpoems Highest rankings: 118 in iwannadie

Secret Mind ✓ by sadlyish

"She's right! She's right! I don't cut in the right spot." My hold tightens on my wrist. The red blood oozes out of my wrist. I slide up and grab my bag and run out of the bathroom. I don't care if people can see the blood I just want to get out. I race for the doors and shove through people. I earn a lot of glares and glances that read "weirdo." I ignore and push. I run to my house and lock myself in my bathroom. I don't bother closing the front door cause I don't care if people come in to kill me. I grab my razor and cut deep cuts into my arm and wrists falling into a pool of my own blood. • • • Evangeline has a great life. Friends? Check! Good grades? Check! Loving family? Check! But what if she has secrets that nobody knows of? What if the only thing she can trust is her secret diary? What if slowly but surly she's dying inside? How can an innocent twelve year old deal with these problems? Will she keep on facing these problem till the day she breaks. Her school burns down forcing her into a different school to meet different people and she has to fit into a different lifestyle as well. Meet Evangeline. Now at 17 years of age in a new high school. Not all girls anymore. No uniform. Meet Drake. Your classic bad-boy. He just moved to Saint Abigail high school. He is assigned partners with the quiet, calm, unnoticed Evangeline. As time progresses he finds that she isn't as happy on the inside as she is on the outside. Can he save her? Or is it too late? • • • Some rude language. Depression and cutting. Don't say I didn't warn you. Okay, I wrote this at the start of this year (may 2016) and I had very poor writing skills. This book hasn't been edited and the whole idea is cliche so I wouldn't recommend you read it but I'm not stopping you, either. Read at your own risk. • • • Copyright © 2017 by -moonlust. All rights reserved.

Starving For Help by Lauryn_Love

"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.

NOW YOU SEE," THE REAL ME" UNDER MAJOR EDITING by darkxdestruction

NOW YOU SEE "THE REAL ME" #1 IN THE SERIES OF POETRY BOOKS //SAD POETRY EDITION (under major editing) "My heart was taken by you, broken by you, and now it's in pieces because of you" My poems aren't the best. The first few poems may not seem worthy of being read but... later down in the book they get better. To some, my poems are beautiful; to some, my poems are shitty and they are rubbish💀. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! I can't promise that your time won't be wasted reading this book. I'm not a professional poet so expect the worst. This book isn't for everyone. It's sad, a little motivating and dark. If you aren't into sad poems don't read this book, it isn't for you. This book contains some of my thoughts,mostly about me or the people around me or just society in general. If you are feeling sad or depressed, please seek help. I know how much it hurts but it isn't too late to heal. Cover made on postermywall ♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡ Rankings: #1 in sad poet out of 23 07/25/2021 #2 in deep thought out of 4. 8 K stories 07/25/2021 #2 in thoughts out of 73. 4 K stories 07/25/2021 #3 in sad poems out of 10.1 K stories 07/25/2021 #3 in thoughts and feelings out of 10.1 K stories 07/25/2021 #6 in poet out of 14.3 K stories 07/25/2021 #40 in deep out of 26.6 K stories 07/25/2021 #48 in depressing out of 18. 3 K stories 07/25/2021

Broken Promise////Billie Eilish by chocolatey_love

"But you said! you told me you love me!" I yelled at her tears streaming down my face. She looks at me and shrugs smiling, "I didn't mean it. I was just playing around. Wanted to know what it was like. And you know I love him." "You wrote it! 'If I love you was a promise would you break it if your honest' it was a promise! you can't break a promise!" I sob out clenching the end of my shirt tightly. "How old are you? Fucking 10? Promises are made to be broken. At least I'm being true to staying honest. Wake up y/n, this is reality. I'm not even gay! I was just curious." She says rolling her eyes. "So you chose me to play with? To hurt? You think my feelings aren't valid just because I'm a lesbian? So you play with my feelings! You're just a selfish bitch! I fucking hate you Billie!" I yell unable to control my emotions anymore. "Okay? Well if that was it, I'm leaving. Brandon's waiting for me in the car." She says with a laugh. I look up to met her ocean eyes filled with amusement and accomplishment. I look at her with disgust and walk away. Away from her, hopefully forever.

Perception of an Angel by Hope_Alexandria_Ray

I wrote this book of poems based off my struggles with mental health, heartbreak, and love. I wrote it to help other people who struggle with mental illness as well, I named the book perception of an angel, because I see the people who struggle the most, as angels. And through our perception of things and emotions, we will find our strength. Our reason to live. We got to keep pushing through the hard and find our fight deep inside ourselves, to reach the good, find your good perception and live; ⚠️⚠️⚠️TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ ⚠️⚠️ ~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!TALKS OF MENTAL HEALTH AND STRUGGLES ALL THAT COMES WITH IT!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~ -BPD -Bipolar -PTSD -other mental health If you or a friend or loved one relates and find yourself struggling please seek help, your life matters, and you matter. Here are some links to help you find support and help if you need it: Crisis Text Line: Text "START" to 741-741 LGBT Youth Suicide Hotline: 1-866-4-U-TREVOR Military Veterans Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (Press 1) National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) Childhelp (1.800.4ACHILD) ... National Sexual Assault Hotline (1.800.656.HOPE) National domestic violence hotline (1-800.799.SAFE)

Live Outside by BeanieBridger

Over the years, I've written many pieces of writing, and shared barely a fraction of them here. Recently, I find myself back here again, and in dire need of somewhere to write, and somewhere to share it. This is to be a collection of poems covering various states of emotion, as and when I write them. A lot has happened since I last wrote anything in general so, this is gonna be hard. I hope you all enjoy the journey I'm gonna take through writing all of this, it's gonna take a lot.

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Slide 1 of 10

Evolution cover

Moments of gladness, moments of sadness & everything in-between. cover

Words Unspoken cover

The Words I couldn't Say cover

Secret Mind ✓ cover

Starving For Help cover

NOW YOU SEE," THE REAL ME" UNDER MAJOR EDITING cover

Broken Promise////Billie Eilish cover

Perception of an Angel cover

Live Outside cover

Evolution

There are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have been more wrong. Love in this day and age is often confused for manipulation and abuse. The warning signs are here. The things we say will tell us everything that is wrong. You are worth more than what you think you are. It's not your fault. If they tell you otherwise, get out. Burn the bridge. Always remember someone is waiting for you to walk into their life. Someone needs you. Someone loves you. Getting away from all of the wrong people and finding the right ones could save you. I can promise you right now that it saved me. These are the journal entries and selected poems from my first experience of love that left a unpleasant taste in my mouth- quite literally. I am putting this out for the whole world to see because I hope everyone will learn from my experience. People can see. We have no excuses to continue living our lives in ignorance. ...WARNING... HARMFUL THEMES INCLUDING MENTION OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, AND RAPE. THIS HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT. RECOVERY AND AWARENESS IS THE PURPOSE OF SHARING. DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE OFFENSIVE OR HARMFUL TO YOU.