Emotional Amnesia - C.A. Kerst - Wattpad

Story cover for Emotional Amnesia by CAKerst

Emotional Amnesia

Reads 3,697
Votes 483
Parts 98
Time 50m

Reads 3,697
Votes 483
Parts 98
Time 50m

abuse cutting dead death drugs emo emotional hurt love pills poems poetry sad tears

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say, "I know you're not".

I have felt like this many times in my life; as a kid, teenager and as an adult. I have seen many things in my life and felt even more things that has been horribly depressing...
But I got up. I stood up to walk on for another day. I dealt with my emotional amnesia the only way I knew I could and that was by writing it out into poetry.
I wanted to forget my pain and forget what I was going through. I needed that cut of the blade or a pill to drink to take everything away. My poetry became both my pill and my blade...

Now I share the most intimate part of myself with the world. The part of me I kept hidden in the closet. The part I never thought I would ever present to the world. Now is the time I have to stop having amnesia about my emotions. It is time to learn, to better myself and to stand up and remember the things that I shut out like a voluntary amnesia all these years. 

Those who are offended after reading this - f**k you! If you are sad with me and willing to cut your wrist - I know how you feel! If you just enjoy the words - I love you!

#679 in Poetry on 17/03/2018
#779 in Poetry on 18/03/2018
#807 in Poetry on 19/03/2018
#474 in Poetry on 22/03/2018All Rights Reserved

abuse cutting dead death drugs emo emotional hurt love pills poems poetry sad tears

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98 parts

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Live Outside by BeanieBridger

Over the years, I've written many pieces of writing, and shared barely a fraction of them here. Recently, I find myself back here again, and in dire need of somewhere to write, and somewhere to share it. This is to be a collection of poems covering various states of emotion, as and when I write them. A lot has happened since I last wrote anything in general so, this is gonna be hard. I hope you all enjoy the journey I'm gonna take through writing all of this, it's gonna take a lot.

Cold Water by adaline_meadows

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

Evolution by andshesmiles

There are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have been more wrong. Love in this day and age is often confused for manipulation and abuse. The warning signs are here. The things we say will tell us everything that is wrong. You are worth more than what you think you are. It's not your fault. If they tell you otherwise, get out. Burn the bridge. Always remember someone is waiting for you to walk into their life. Someone needs you. Someone loves you. Getting away from all of the wrong people and finding the right ones could save you. I can promise you right now that it saved me. These are the journal entries and selected poems from my first experience of love that left a unpleasant taste in my mouth- quite literally. I am putting this out for the whole world to see because I hope everyone will learn from my experience. People can see. We have no excuses to continue living our lives in ignorance. ...WARNING... HARMFUL THEMES INCLUDING MENTION OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, AND RAPE. THIS HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT. RECOVERY AND AWARENESS IS THE PURPOSE OF SHARING. DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE OFFENSIVE OR HARMFUL TO YOU.

Stale Words by Norscality

𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚎 𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 is an ongoing book and collection of poems and sonnets made by me, inspired by my thoughts, dreams, and personal experiences. As someone who lives with depression and anxiety, a lot of my thoughts are bound to not be very pleasant. But hey, some of them are quite philosophical and positive. But that's rare. Join me on my journey through sadness, happiness, curiosity, mystery, and so much more. I was inspired to make a collection of my poems, and I decided to just do it. Also, you should know that I will try to crack jokes or be funny in my serious poems. It's just how I am. Another thing, I do enjoy making things rhyme. Btw, some poems are going to be much better than others. My brain just works strangely. I also really hope my writing doesn't offend anyone. If it does, I do deeply apologize. I'm mainly just doing this all for myself. Just wanna get all my words saved somewhere. If my humor or anything else offends you, I am deeply sorry for that. Sometimes I just have no clue what I'm saying. I just type what's in my mind. Ps, this is not a cry for help. I'm doing fine, but I have dark thoughts. I can't help it. And to the person who a lot of these poems are based on, I am genuinely sorry. I never wish to write this type of stuff about anyone. This is just how I'm dealing with the pain you caused me. I know you'll never see this, but still. I hate being so hateful. That was always your thing.

Words Unspoken by shadowofthoughts

There is a community of the spirit. Join it, and feel the delight of walking in the noisy street, and being the noise. Drink all your passion, and be a disgrace. Close both eyes to see with the other eye. Open your hands, if you want to be held. Sit down in this circle. Quit acting like a wolf, and feel the shepherd's love filling you. At night, your beloved wanders. Don't accept consolations. Close your mouth against food. Taste the food. You moan, "She left me." "He left me." Twenty more will come. Be empty of worrying. Think of who created thought! Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open? Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking. Live in silence. Flow down and down in always widening rings of being. There's a strange frenzy in my head, of birds, flying, each particle circulating on its own. Is the one I love everywhere? Drunks fear the police, but the police are drunk too. People in this town love them both like different chess pieces. ----------------------------------- All things that we hide in our hearts eat us alive. This book is - full of emotions, love, care and agitation. Well, you need to read this to know what's in. Moreover, It consists of quotes, snippets, poems, bits of advice...Ummm simply deep and random stuff. Go Ahead! HIGHEST rank #1 in poetry as of 19.02.2018 ----------------------------------- 4/10/17 --- 19/04/18

Moments of gladness, moments of sadness & everything in-between. by SonnetsByXander

I'm an 18 year old boy with Cerebral Palsy, depression and anxiety. I'm a British Hipster Punk Fuck who has dreams of happiness and independence. Living with my difficulties can be saddening and difficult so to cope I draw (follow my Instagram: alex_likes_airguns) and write poems apparently! The interest in writing is fairly new and I have no idea how to really write enjoyable things. I'm an illustrator by trade so this whole writing stuff is new to me, apologies for bad grammar. This notwithstanding I needed somewhere to store my poems so this book and my account now exists I guess! Enjoy!

NOW YOU SEE," THE REAL ME" UNDER MAJOR EDITING by darkxdestruction

NOW YOU SEE "THE REAL ME" #1 IN THE SERIES OF POETRY BOOKS //SAD POETRY EDITION (under major editing) "My heart was taken by you, broken by you, and now it's in pieces because of you" My poems aren't the best. The first few poems may not seem worthy of being read but... later down in the book they get better. To some, my poems are beautiful; to some, my poems are shitty and they are rubbish💀. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! I can't promise that your time won't be wasted reading this book. I'm not a professional poet so expect the worst. This book isn't for everyone. It's sad, a little motivating and dark. If you aren't into sad poems don't read this book, it isn't for you. This book contains some of my thoughts,mostly about me or the people around me or just society in general. If you are feeling sad or depressed, please seek help. I know how much it hurts but it isn't too late to heal. Cover made on postermywall ♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡ Rankings: #1 in sad poet out of 23 07/25/2021 #2 in deep thought out of 4. 8 K stories 07/25/2021 #2 in thoughts out of 73. 4 K stories 07/25/2021 #3 in sad poems out of 10.1 K stories 07/25/2021 #3 in thoughts and feelings out of 10.1 K stories 07/25/2021 #6 in poet out of 14.3 K stories 07/25/2021 #40 in deep out of 26.6 K stories 07/25/2021 #48 in depressing out of 18. 3 K stories 07/25/2021

Broken Promise////Billie Eilish by chocolatey_love

"But you said! you told me you love me!" I yelled at her tears streaming down my face. She looks at me and shrugs smiling, "I didn't mean it. I was just playing around. Wanted to know what it was like. And you know I love him." "You wrote it! 'If I love you was a promise would you break it if your honest' it was a promise! you can't break a promise!" I sob out clenching the end of my shirt tightly. "How old are you? Fucking 10? Promises are made to be broken. At least I'm being true to staying honest. Wake up y/n, this is reality. I'm not even gay! I was just curious." She says rolling her eyes. "So you chose me to play with? To hurt? You think my feelings aren't valid just because I'm a lesbian? So you play with my feelings! You're just a selfish bitch! I fucking hate you Billie!" I yell unable to control my emotions anymore. "Okay? Well if that was it, I'm leaving. Brandon's waiting for me in the car." She says with a laugh. I look up to met her ocean eyes filled with amusement and accomplishment. I look at her with disgust and walk away. Away from her, hopefully forever.

A Little Bit Of Joy | ✔ by wigglysubu

[Featured by wattpad romance, teen fiction, young adult and psychologicalnovel] Joy Jones was a seventeen-year-old kind and optimistic girl working in her grandpa's flower shop, but she had a secret. She was suffering from acute lymphoblastic leukaemia and wanted nothing, but to die peacefully. That was until Logan Kellerman, a young man with suicidal tendencies came storming into her life and stole roses from her grandpa's flower shop. Instead of running away with what he came for, he found himself falling deeper and deeper into her as she made his heart skip in delight, for she was, in her own words, a little bit of Joy. * * * from some of my readers of this book, thanks❤- ❝I LOVE YOUR STORY OKAY. THIS STORY AND YOUR WRITING- IT GIVES ME HOPE YOU KNOW.❞ - aimawrites ❝This is so different than so many stereotypical stories on here and i'm so glad i read it.❞ -lepus_leporis ❝They're both so poetic and beautiful and perfect for each other. GAHHhh I love them.❞ - alycecaswell ❝The way she vividly describes the world makes me so happy. Heat keeps rushing to my cheeks in pure euphoric joy. This book is making me so grateful for everything around me and I never want it to end.❞ - nylammeeyn [highest rank: 7 in sad] [cover by soulanatomy]

SENSITIVE STRINGS by theautumnversion

August is slipping through our hands like a half-sipped bottle of wine and this year for me has been the most Unhinged, deranged, yet somehow on some level chic and comforting. I found and discovered things I never thought I would and I lost some things of great meaning which also I never thought I would. This year sure has been a rollercoaster of a ride, and the most terrifying thing about this is that the year hasn't even finished yet. I've felt a lot of emotions like madness, happiness, sadness and confusion and homesick-hysterion and a flash mobs of questions posted in my mind like post it notes just screaming. And so I got tired of them. And I wrote an anthology of the events that happened to me this year and have happened to me in the past. This is a concept record. Each track is a letter to someone, or some situation where I wanted to say I lot of things... But I couldn't so I decided to let my mind and heart intertwine, and speak those words that I couldn't. I hold Sensitive Strings close to my heart because it's my first anthology. Although it might not seem like it right now, but in future after release of several other anthologies, I want to look back at this record and just laugh, because it's a depressingly funny record of an 18 year old queer boy, and it's probably things that most people relate to because unlike *coughs* some people, I don't gatekeep my trauma as unique, because it's trauma not a competition. I hope that you all will love this record as much as I do. And I hope that Sensitive Strings will keave you all to want more. And I promise with me more is always coming. I just want to say to all those people who supported me in this, Especially all of my friends, you know who you are. I love you and this wouldn't have been possible without you. With all your love to me, And your greatest empathy, I take this step further without looking back now, SENSITIVE STRINGS IS OUT NOW. Love you & Thank you. Riv.

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Slide 1 of 10

Live Outside cover

Cold Water cover

Evolution cover

Stale Words cover

Words Unspoken cover

Moments of gladness, moments of sadness & everything in-between. cover

NOW YOU SEE," THE REAL ME" UNDER MAJOR EDITING cover

Broken Promise////Billie Eilish cover

A Little Bit Of Joy | ✔ cover

SENSITIVE STRINGS cover

Live Outside

Over the years, I've written many pieces of writing, and shared barely a fraction of them here. Recently, I find myself back here again, and in dire need of somewhere to write, and somewhere to share it. This is to be a collection of poems covering various states of emotion, as and when I write them. A lot has happened since I last wrote anything in general so, this is gonna be hard. I hope you all enjoy the journey I'm gonna take through writing all of this, it's gonna take a lot.