if I am worth it

if I am worth it

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WpMetadataNoticePublikasi terakhir Sab, Jul 26, 2014
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i have everything. and nothing. i'm living the dream. successful career as a singer at such a young age. millions of twelve year old girls stare at my face on posters and dream about becoming me someday. millions of other people who aren't so innocent also dream about me. i'm literally at the summit of life. but one thing i've learned is that once you hit the top there is this constant urge to hurl yourself off the top of the cliff and fall into nothingness. either you take the step and fall on your own, or the strong wind pushes you down. either way the fall is inevitable. i love this, dont get me wrong. the inspiration i am. the music i sing. the emotions i can bring to people. the power. but the same gold crown i wear has started to look more like shackles that i have to drag along the floor. i'm starting to think i dont deserve the power i have. like i'm not worth it. truth is, i dont know. i dont know what i am, only how i got here. and if i'm worth it, the wind will catch me before i fall.
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I was just thinking. I swear. But maybe my mind over thought. It's weird that everything can seem so simple, straight forward. Black and white. Two colors. So obvious. So there. Him and Her. Two people. So obvious. So there. But once you add gray, things get kind of complicated. Then you add color. And it's a wonderfully complicated bright world. She's two in one. The storm and the shade. No one ever stops to thank the storm for shading them from what's above it. What if the sun was too strong, too powerful that day and the storm came along just to protect us all from it? It was this epic battle between the two and the storm was hurting and it cased all this damage to the earth. No one thanks the storm for its sacrifice when it finally loses the battle and the sun shows its smug face. We all hate the storm for the disaster it created and praise the sun, when the storm just wanted to protect us. The storm and the shade. She's the storm and the shade. She's the chaos and the calm. Only I can't see the chaos. Not fully. She's keeping it all inside. All I see is the calm. I can tell though. I can tell there's chaos. I just can't see it. It's not so black and white. It's not a simple boy likes girl. Girl likes boy. It never was. But I like her. I do. The storm and the shade.

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