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Fml

Reads 831
Votes 159
Parts 19
Time 49m

Reads 831
Votes 159
Parts 19
Time 49m

Mature

broken depression diary imfine life mentaldisorder mentalhealth sad selfhurt selfinjury teen wattys2018

"Are you ok?" "What's wrong?" "Are you sad?" "Everything will be okay".
Honestly, I'm not okay, what's wrong? Everything! And why am I sad? Because I can't handle anything anymore and NOTHING will be okay.
I don't know why I always need to lie to everyone about me, it's not like they could understand anyways. Who's been by my side? Well people obviously, but none of them can know what I think! How I feel! How could they anyways, it's not like my life is a book that people can just read and understand...
Who am I? An emotional girl who is exaggerating right now? Haha! NO. I'm actually Anne, and I'm fourteen. I guess that I'm a social teen, always looking happy and approchable. Well not lately...But you'll get to that part at some point. I'm an "average teen" like some people say. Well I honestly don't know. I'm always tired, depressed stressed, but some say that that's normal. Of course because my life isn't complicated at all...Maybe I imagine things? 
All these years and I've always kept things inside, of course I have friends, but they can't hear my thoughts and know everything in my pathetic life. So that's why I've decided "Well why not write in a diary? Maybe it will help? Or something"  
I have no idea if it actually helps, but it might...At least it's something I can open up to. To talk about my suicidal thoughts, my depression, my self-harm issues and my eating disorder...
On that note....
Bye....
Fml :)


AnneAll Rights Reserved

broken depression diary imfine life mentaldisorder mentalhealth sad selfhurt selfinjury teen wattys2018

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19 parts

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Cold Water by adaline_meadows

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

Not Sick But Not Well. by La_marquise732

This day wasn't an exception. I cried over and over until I could no longer, I wiped my tears and took the packages in my arms after opening the door. In the house, nothing new. They were still talking, so I had time to drop off the packages, and without even opening one, I headed to the showers, cleaned my face with water, and went to my room. This is roughly how my days as a child went. I know that it cannot be described as an ideal childhood, but it would certainly be the most beautiful period of my life. Despite family conflicts, school conflicts, loneliness, and fear, I was happy. I was happy because they were all there, happy because they always remained, despite my faults, and happy. After all, I knew that I had not yet experienced the worst. Happy because I knew, that sooner or later everything would end. So yes, I was as cowardly and useless as they all claimed and even more naive than they would have believed, but this vision that I had at that age kept me going. Although the truth was hard to accept, I was given no choice. So I accepted life as it came; I accepted myself and my truth, my weaknesses, and the fact that I had to get used to the idea that I would always be the first actor to die in films.

Fix Me, I'm Broken by Ana11e1y

Walking into an empty house is normal to me. I guess I got tired of saying 'I'm home' when nobody is home to reply. It wasn't always like this. I remember when our family was close. Now we don't see each other any more. We don't talk to each other. We don't eat with each other. We don't ACKNOWLEDGE each other. This all happened after my 'Mother' killed herself. My father blames me. This is my story about how I learned to not count on anyone else but myself. I'm broken. I'm used. No one can fix me. But when the New Boy in town tries to fix me, everything will change. Good change or Bad change, I don't know. Only time will tell. I want to enter this story in the #Wattys2015 please help me out and vote and comment on my story. I'll really appreciate it!!! #Wattys2015 COPYRIGHTED Â© 2014 BY Anallely ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Â®

Sad Girl Clapback *Now Available in Amazon* by 3pointt14

*PUBLISHED as 'Tired of Being Tired, Sick of Being Sad' by Azia To *now on amazon* This is the book I wish I had when I was 12, 13, 14 and growing up until I was 20. It's the stuff I wish I told my high school self. *** This is how I feel - these are my thoughts. They're funny. They're a bit weird. They're extremely honest. And I will not be apologetic about any of this (Sorry - I'm not trying to give Canadians a bad rep here but...). All these short essays are raw and mean a lot to me. This is me handing you a key to my home, and for you to explore the parts that I have built and things that I have picked up along my journeys. You may find that my home may look a lot like yours. It's funny how we find parts of ourselves in the people we meet. Make yourself comfortable. Have a seat. Welcome. *** A collection of funny essays about hurting, loving, and healing as a teenage girl in 2018.

Lost by livvydavis

Sometimes, I'm not always sure what to do. I feel like I'm always wrong, like I'm never good enough. I'm invisible and it's as if I don't exist. If I really didn't exist, I don't think anyone would care. I'm all alone in this great big world, I'm lost. Maddie has never been good enough for anyone. Her perfect sister, Megan, always manages to outshine her. Her father never pays attention to her, because he's always worried about Megan. Every Tuesday and Thursday, Maddie goes to group therapy, where she shares her feelings. Every week it's the same thing, until Maddie gets a new lab partner: Zach Williams, every girl's dream date. WARNING: I wrote this book when I was really, really young. It is very poorly written and has a TON of grammatical errors. I'm working on editing/rewriting this.

Tell Me Pretty Lies by BlackSpade661

From the second you're in this world they tell you what is fair. What questions your allowed to ask and the ones you can never dare say. I find it damn near funny that most of you are reading this and know exactly what I mean. They put you on the path they've paved for you as kids we don't question it or even wonder if it's right for you. But beyond your paths edges is a land made up of risks and dangers. You feared it they tell you no good will come from it but how do you really know? Truth be told I was the girl who had her whole life planned out for her, straight A's, best friend, and two loving parents. I know what I wanted what I needed and I knew how to fight like hell for it. There's a reason why everyone prefers pretty lies over the bitter truth and it's usually because they can't handle the truth but I think the most likely thing is they can't handle what happens to the person once the truth comes out that's what happened to me. I was happy the way things were and then one day everything blew up in my face. Maybe the happy girl I was would have been happy living a lie for the rest of her life but no matter what the truth always comes out. So I ask you what would you have wanted the bitter truth or the pretty lie?

If I Try (Lesbian Story) by Balueyes

My life in ruins, this is where I'm at currently. I was living a lie, lying to people and most importantly to myself. You can act straight all you want, you can try to convince yourself that, but no matter how hard you try. The truth is always revealed. What did I do? I stroked her face, and told her she was still beautiful, then I bent down and kissed her. One of those soft, yet deep, gut wrenching, I'll always love you, but I have to let you go, goodbye kisses. Then I rested my forehead on hers and closed my eyes. I saw the past that we had, all of the memories we had together, I took them in, I felt the feelings again, I processed them. Then I saw the dreams that we dreamed for our future, I saw all of our plans that we made, I felt them, I felt the pain of what would never be, and then I released it all. I didn't realize I was sobbing until I felt her hand graze over the tears. I opened my eyes, blinked away the tears I had left, and smiled. She returned my smile. We knew at that point that no matter what happened, we would be ok.............. This is my struggle, this is my journey. Join me for the ride, but make sure you wear your helmet.

Broken mind (Under heavy editing!) by wonderland_smile

I'm lost. Broken. And nobody knows. I help people, and when you help people, you don't get help. I couldn't look at myself think how a mess I was. It was too late for me to be fixed. Nobody could help me. I was too deep in it for being saved. I had too many scars and thought. I already had a broken mind. When I tried to kill myself and failed at it, they brought me to a mental facility. There I meet other teens with different stories and each with their problems. The longer I'm here, the more stories I get the knowledge. We come together to tell our stories so that we can move on from what hurt us in the past and what waits for us in the future. We're all strangers, but we're all living in this messed-up place call life. So can we overcome our broken minds. -2014-

Evolution by andshesmiles

There are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have been more wrong. Love in this day and age is often confused for manipulation and abuse. The warning signs are here. The things we say will tell us everything that is wrong. You are worth more than what you think you are. It's not your fault. If they tell you otherwise, get out. Burn the bridge. Always remember someone is waiting for you to walk into their life. Someone needs you. Someone loves you. Getting away from all of the wrong people and finding the right ones could save you. I can promise you right now that it saved me. These are the journal entries and selected poems from my first experience of love that left a unpleasant taste in my mouth- quite literally. I am putting this out for the whole world to see because I hope everyone will learn from my experience. People can see. We have no excuses to continue living our lives in ignorance. ...WARNING... HARMFUL THEMES INCLUDING MENTION OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, AND RAPE. THIS HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT. RECOVERY AND AWARENESS IS THE PURPOSE OF SHARING. DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE OFFENSIVE OR HARMFUL TO YOU.

stone cold by fayade123

My name is Megan Joker, my mum think of me as a failure she will rather pick another woman's child over me, And my dad? He doesn't exist sister? Yes I have a step sister who think i'm a loser and always want everything I have even though she already has everything I don't have and her dad doesn't even care about my existence, Friends? All my school mates think i'm a freak and they call me cold so I don't have friends Greatest fear? Autophobia;fear of being alone, which I can't help cos i've never been nobody's business so i've been living with my fears all my life. Conclusion: Nobody want me even life itself hate me, it has tried to break me but i'm strong or maybe i'm only pretending to be cos i'm getting weak and its getting hard for me to hold on the wall of my strength is cracking I need someone to save me, anyone, please!!! "My though look is just a camouflage my heart is indeed weak and my soul needs to be fixed" Note: I know my writing skill is poor but please don't let that prevent you from enjoying the story, thanks.

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Slide 1 of 10

Cold Water cover

Not Sick But Not Well. cover

Fix Me, I'm Broken cover

Sad Girl Clapback *Now Available in Amazon* cover

Tell Me Pretty Lies cover

If I Try (Lesbian Story) cover

Broken mind (Under heavy editing!) cover

Evolution cover

stone cold cover

Cold Water

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression