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Fml

Reads 831
Votes 159
Parts 19
Time 49m

Reads 831
Votes 159
Parts 19
Time 49m

Mature

broken depression diary imfine life mentaldisorder mentalhealth sad selfhurt selfinjury teen wattys2018

"Are you ok?" "What's wrong?" "Are you sad?" "Everything will be okay".
Honestly, I'm not okay, what's wrong? Everything! And why am I sad? Because I can't handle anything anymore and NOTHING will be okay.
I don't know why I always need to lie to everyone about me, it's not like they could understand anyways. Who's been by my side? Well people obviously, but none of them can know what I think! How I feel! How could they anyways, it's not like my life is a book that people can just read and understand...
Who am I? An emotional girl who is exaggerating right now? Haha! NO. I'm actually Anne, and I'm fourteen. I guess that I'm a social teen, always looking happy and approchable. Well not lately...But you'll get to that part at some point. I'm an "average teen" like some people say. Well I honestly don't know. I'm always tired, depressed stressed, but some say that that's normal. Of course because my life isn't complicated at all...Maybe I imagine things? 
All these years and I've always kept things inside, of course I have friends, but they can't hear my thoughts and know everything in my pathetic life. So that's why I've decided "Well why not write in a diary? Maybe it will help? Or something"  
I have no idea if it actually helps, but it might...At least it's something I can open up to. To talk about my suicidal thoughts, my depression, my self-harm issues and my eating disorder...
On that note....
Bye....
Fml :)


AnneAll Rights Reserved

broken depression diary imfine life mentaldisorder mentalhealth sad selfhurt selfinjury teen wattys2018

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19 parts

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Cold Water by adaline_meadows

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

Falling Apart by 1_Will_3

*TRIGGER WARNING: DEALS WITH DEPRESSION, SELF HARM AND SUICIDE* Amber is sixteen years old and to sugarcoat it... She hasn't had the best upbringing. She would love a different life, one where she can see her mother again and not be stuck with her abusive father. A life where she doesn't get taunted and hit and torn apart by everyone who she has ever seen. But she would never swap, she doesn't want anyone to endure the pain she's gone through. So instead, she tries to get rid of it... Again. But much to her disbelief, she is saved by the people she would least expect. She learns secrets about them that no one else knows. She feels included. Cared for. And dare I say it... She felt loved. For once in her life, she felt truly happy to be alive. But just when Amber felt safe, her life was flipped upside down and her past came back to haunt her just when she least expected it... (Sorry, I suck at descriptions, don't let it put you off) Ranking: #64 in Awareness #15 in Mental Health Awareness #73 in saddness

Double Down (a double standards series) Dark Romance (Part 7) by nikkihershell

I didn't ask to be born into this world, none of us did but we make the best of it. I'm a twenty-five year old single man. Why you may ask? Because I've seen what love can do to a person. It can destroy them. My parent's are amazing but I can still remember the time's my father threatened to kill my mother, left us due to his mental illness. Besides who needs one main women when I can have a different one under me every night, money to blow and fast cars. I'm just enjoying my time until I take my Papes place at the throne. Most nights are spent living it up with my cousins who are my only friends. However there is the one girl that has caught my eye and I don't know why. I first spotted her at a random coffee house I stepped into. Usually I'm very talkative especially when I'm trying to snag a chic but I couldn't utter a word to her. I barely managed to place my order. Now, I find myself going out of my way to stop by that coffee shop everyday. It doesn't matter that it's out of my way. The only thing that matters is that I see her. I knew I could take her if I really wanted to but I can't make myself to do it. She sees me enter and shoots me that amazing smile and prepares my order without even asking what I want, she knows. She'll offer a greeting but all I can do is nod my head. She makes me lose my word's. Deep in my mind I wonder if she could be the one that could change my mind on love and that scares me. For now I'm satisfied at seeing her for the few minutes it takes to get my coffee. Besides I'm a killer, a future mob king and she's this delicate flower that wouldn't understand my world. It's best to cut my loses and move on. If only I knew her name..

Catastrophically Carla (Lesbian Story) by xpaaulettex

Ages 14+ (lesbian concepts and some profanity) This is not your everyday love story, okay? It's not a chick flick either. The events and themes within my pages have meaning, depth, truth-and most of all, reality. You are about to be taken on an adventure about a girl who's life is not like everybody else's. I look like a normal teen girl, I mean, I have hair and two eyes and two hands and feet like everybody else, but I couldn't feel more different. I have two moms, yes. Let's just get that out there before you start reading and close my diary like everyone in my life has shut me out of theirs. All I want is a normal life with normal friends who don't judge me because of my home situation. I don't even remember the last time I went on a sleepover or called somebody my age. I don't mean to be a downer, because it does get better. Life gets better. Struggles are only temporary, I know that now. And by my last words reach your eyes, I've come a long way, and have grown to see potential in myself. I'm sharing this with you because I want to make a difference. I know now that I'm not the only one in the world that feels alone. I've been there, done that, and there's more loneliness to come, but for now, I feel more prepared for it. I know how it feels to sit by yourself at lunch every day and how it feels to watch others go to prom with dates and feel like shit because you don't think you'd even have any friends to go with. Please ready my diary. I am much older now, and much more wiser, and I can't wait for you to realize the potential in yourself, too.

Not Sick But Not Well. by La_marquise732

This day wasn't an exception. I cried over and over until I could no longer, I wiped my tears and took the packages in my arms after opening the door. In the house, nothing new. They were still talking, so I had time to drop off the packages, and without even opening one, I headed to the showers, cleaned my face with water, and went to my room. This is roughly how my days as a child went. I know that it cannot be described as an ideal childhood, but it would certainly be the most beautiful period of my life. Despite family conflicts, school conflicts, loneliness, and fear, I was happy. I was happy because they were all there, happy because they always remained, despite my faults, and happy. After all, I knew that I had not yet experienced the worst. Happy because I knew, that sooner or later everything would end. So yes, I was as cowardly and useless as they all claimed and even more naive than they would have believed, but this vision that I had at that age kept me going. Although the truth was hard to accept, I was given no choice. So I accepted life as it came; I accepted myself and my truth, my weaknesses, and the fact that I had to get used to the idea that I would always be the first actor to die in films.

Diary Of A Depressed Being by Zackhere

This diary consists of short 1 month period. The girl, Emma confides in her feelings, her thoughts, her day and her tragedies. There are going to be twists and a really sad ending. Live this one month with Emma. Understand the kind of woman she is. "It's 1st of December, 2012. I received this thick black spiraled diary as a gift from my late mother. She always said that this diary would show me more patience than people and I should write my heart out when there's no one special enough to listen... to confide in. It was my 12th birthday. I'm 16 now and guess what? I really don't have anyone to share my crazy thoughts or stupid feelings. If I ever start doing it... People would assume me mentally sick and tie me to a chair and start stuffing me with aspirins and sedatives. And that's definitely not the way I want to go down. So, I'm just starting to write in this diary until and unless I find that special one to share everything and nothing with."

Not me. (2023) by MineOnlyFriend2

so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.

Starving For Help by Lauryn_Love

"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.

Chubby ✔️ by ice_olatedwriter

A girl who has been called chubby her whole life. By everyone. She wants to be a model; thinking it might make her pretty and people would stop calling her names and laughing at her for thinking she had a career in modeling. So she applies to a modeling school. The best in town. Her dream is to be a model. Yet, she is brutally rejected when she applies which completely shatters her heart. Her parents never supported her. So after she's rejected, instead of consoling her; they criticize her even more. She never really had friends to begin with; and now that the news of being rejected from the modeling school spread, no one would even look at her in a friendly way. She was mocked. She was bullied. The words kept changing. From chubby to fat. From stupid to worthless With the excessive amount of bullying, she fell into depression. Hard. She stopped eating. Maybe it'll make the horrible words go away?

This is my truth by KristinaFigolah

My life has been an intense journey from a little girl who was beaten down and abused into believing that she was worthless, to a woman at 43 years of age who is still desperately searching for who she truly is. I found her though. I did. And she writes like me, from inside of me. She is me. This girl that I've been in love with since time first existed, is indeed me. The way that she walks. With her hands... and how she talks? The hearts that she's captured, the souls that she has inspired. I'm now trying to be her. I've never felt that I was good enough to actually be myself!!! I always knew how pure and clear and free I was inside. But people told me otherwise, in a very cruel way. No one ever spared my feelings or thought to speak to me with kindness or love. My parents were very serious and strict people. They believed that there was only 1 way to act and inside I knew that I did NOT fit in the parameters of the behavior expected of me. And every single time I made my Step Daddy sigh or frown it felt like I knife in my heart. I was a let down. Always too loud. Always moving too much. Always too fat and always too ugly. Always too much. Unless I sat quietly. But I've always been a firecracker and all of that containment really made me want to blow off! All of what was inside of me, swirling and dividing in me. Burying the side of me that I loved the most! I was a bastard and a blasphemy. Harsh words for a girl of 3. They said them when they baptized me.

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Slide 1 of 10

Cold Water cover

Falling Apart cover

Double Down (a double standards series) Dark Romance (Part 7) cover

Catastrophically Carla (Lesbian Story) cover

Not Sick But Not Well. cover

Diary Of A Depressed Being cover

Not me. (2023) cover

Starving For Help cover

Chubby ✔️ cover

This is my truth cover

Cold Water

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression