Everyone Un-Died + My Gardener Bit Me: The Oral History of the Zombie Apocalypse - AaronRubicon - Wattpad

Story cover for Everyone Un-Died + My Gardener Bit Me: The Oral History of the Zombie Apocalypse by AaronRubicon

Everyone Un-Died + My Gardener Bit Me: The Oral History of the Zombie Apocalypse

Reads 34,355
Votes 5,877
Parts 51
Time 4h 41m

Reads 34,355
Votes 5,877
Parts 51
Time 4h 41m

absurd apocalypse darkhumor humor zombieapocalypse zombies zombiesurvival

"Sure, it was robots this time. But who's to say that it won't be zombies next time? And when the zombies do come, who's going to be ready for it? Me." - Marietta 
"I mean, like, say what you want about the robots, but at least they weren't gross!" - Lila

Welcome to the long-awaited sequel to the irreverent and uproarious 2015 Watty Award-winning EVERYONE DIED + MY iPHONE STOPPED WORKING!

It's been three years since humanity was *almost* wiped out and the lucky survivors are now breathing easy, confident that they no longer have anything to fear from murderous robots. And indeed, they do not.

But unbeknownst to them, there is another extinction-level threat on the horizon. It's a ferocious new enemy... and it smells terrible.

Cover art courtesy of my ridiculously talented friend Dave Pressler. http://www.davepresslerart.comAll Rights Reserved

absurd apocalypse darkhumor humor zombieapocalypse zombies zombiesurvival

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51 parts

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Apocalyptia: Rewritten by KyleisOriginal

(This was a story where I tried too hard to be smart, it came out as forced and unentertaining. While it was also fun to write, I strongly believe that the absurdity of the original edition was more entertaining.) Four friends that were never used in another book and totally are original are violently thrown into the end of the world. With the military nowhere to be seen, they venture out into the destroyed open world, hoping to find more helpful allies, not foes. This version of Apocalyptia has been improved and modified and will be heading into a more realistic direction than the original one I've written, this time with the help of my friends, I'll make it a more satisfying book to read. Made by: Smart and Retarded Idiots (The name of our group) This sucked

Fool's Apocalypse by Bptikerpae

Like the start of any apocalyptic tale - an asteroid was headed towards Earth - but did it actually reach its mark? That's irrelevant, the world's gone potty anyway. You're either a murdering maneater, human cattle in a meat market with your flesh on the menu, or privileged enough to avoid such terrors and thus are naturally exploiting those less fortunate than yourself. Either way, there's bound to be some fun in here... surely? Also, there might just be a couple of robots in here too - why not, 'ey? Fancy a look to see how I fare in a life like this? Then take a read, why don't you? If you'd rather pass on it, well... sod you! xxxx

What Ever Happened to Muffins? by EryxAias

In celebration for Halloween: A story with a tiny bit of strangeness, some silly humor, clichés, a cat, monstrous rats, annoying neighbors and their annoying dogs, an inescapable apartment building full of zombies, starter weapons, oldies music, ridiculous drawings, injuries and deaths. Or is it un-deaths? Movie trailer person's voice: "Rated PG-13 for stabbing zombies, hitting zombies over the head [overall aggression against zombies of all kinds], one instance of auto theft, and the occasional cursing [8-9 of them, censored by ridiculous little grawlixes]." ***As of the 28 of November, Wattpad has deemed my story "Mature". They've also formed a rally demanding that "Yoga Hosers" be changed to XXX, due to the sausage Nazi that entered that bloke's bum.*** No sex, no drugs, no self-harm, no references to nudity, crude language censored, moderate violence and comedic violence is the only thing the story contains. By the Canadian rating-it's a rating of 14+. Making that clear, since the story is now amongst the site's smut pile, and it's nothing like those. ***Disclaimer: No children, people-and most importantly, animals-were harmed in the making of this story. The drawings [22] within the chapters are made by me, solely for the purpose of this story. I'm not a fine artist, I merely draw on rare occasions. Please do not steal, replicate, reproduce my drawings without consent or without linking to this story.***

Lifeafter; The era of the Revenants by BoundsNovel

(Art by me. Took me a while to do this. So this is the new book cover :3) Humanity has always been curious creations that never learnt quickly from their mistakes.. Greedy... and prideful... we'd do anything to achieve our goals... even if it meant ending the world... Scientists had experimented on humans for a long time, making different breakthroughs and some failures... but this one was their most astonishing and regretful discovery.. with a mistake in their calculations as well as their subject. A virus was created and this virus was passed on to Everyone in the hospital lab quickly causing the first zombie infected appearance. At first it was mild... but like a wild fire, it spread round the city and nearly around the world... humanity was pushed back, homes destroyed....bond broken.... and many more problems came. But after all, humans can adapt quickly. And quick did they adapt... creating weapons that work for both infected and mercenaries alike, humanity had found a way to survive again. Despite the population reducing to an absolute needle size... humanity didn't give up... And now.... something else seems to have appeared... something that would affect everything..

The Survival // Zombie Apocalypse Story by notbrokenjustgay

"Flight 406 do you read me, I repeat, flight 406 do you read me, over" "Arghh another boring school day, and now that crash with the toxic waiste explosion too, but I should be fine, the poisonous gas shouldn't reach here, right." "The bus ride is boring, I should already get to my stop. And my phone is dead, just perfect." "Third day in the bunker, it's been horriblely quiet, the food supply should arrive today, I don't think I can survive longer with out any..... Bwahahahah who em I fooling...." It was a ordinary life for every one but since the explosion everything has gone upside down, and only the fittest survive. TW: Horrible writing and cursing Unfinished, probably for forever

Ok, Who Got Bitten? by Samanthue

Right now, I'm squatting in a pile of human waste, desperately trying to get a signal on my phone. My friends are watching me reluctantly, their faces stained with blood and what I only hope is dirt. The light from my phone is illuminating their faces, casting light on the looks of horror that I have come to know all too well. My best friend is cradling her left arm, bandaged with a torn piece of cloth in hopes of stopping the blood flow. My sister can barely walk, and I think her hand is broken. She looks on the verge of tears. As we calm down, catching our breaths, I give up looking at my phone. I slowly turn to them, my own face crusted with blood. I look at each of them, one by one. "Ok, who got bitten?"

THE RISKS by EmJayRey

"You can't tell me there isn't something here worth risking everything for." [New Adult Apocalyptic Romance] Summary: There are some things that you can't outrun. That becomes all the more obvious when the world is ending, when there's nothing left but the feral creatures that were once people, consumed now by a virus that's made them cannibalistic and ravenous. It might just be easier to end it all, but Claire still has one last thing to fight for. Her younger sister. And she intends to keep her safe, no matter the cost. So, with no other options and her sister in tow, Claire ventures out into the dangers of this new, unforgiving world in search of safety, security, and answers to some long burning questions. The first two things -along with some new, unexpected questions- she finds in an unlikely place: a stranger who she's become indebted to. She has a feeling he can help her answer all her questions, if she can allow herself to fully trust him. Trust, she thinks, is a fragile thing. Humanity, a construct. Love, a weakness. But these are the thoughts of a survivor, and she's beginning to wonder if surviving is all she wants. Maybe she wants to live.

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Slide 1 of 10

Apocalyptia: Rewritten cover

Fool's Apocalypse cover

What Ever Happened to Muffins? cover

Lifeafter; The era of the Revenants cover

The Survival // Zombie Apocalypse Story cover

Ok, Who Got Bitten? cover

THE RISKS cover

Zombies Vs Aliens: Respawn cover

HELP! I ACCIDENTALLY SURVIVED THE APOCALYPSE cover

Apocalyptia: Rewritten

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