Kaiden has never had much luck. Yeah, sometimes, but not in general. He began dying at 18, almost succeeded a few times, but will probably suffer till the day he dies of old age.
This is a very sad, depressing story, please do not live life like that. It can trigger depression or anxiety so if you're prone to those or had bad relationships you're not over with yet, do not read. Maybe you will not understand Kaiden's position, but it's ok. Not many can take that much for so long and most cannot see the reason, but Kaiden is just an unfortunate bugger. Whatever. These are Kaiden's thoughts.
Man, the way this is going, it sounds like Kafka in love.