F*ck Me (Modern Cliches, #2) - Anna Koski - Wattpad

F*ck Me (Modern Cliches, #2)

Reads 246,884
Votes 13,733
Parts 24
Time 2h 49m

Reads 246,884
Votes 13,733
Parts 24
Time 2h 49m

amlkoski demon free freetoread funny hilarious humor humorous incubus moderncliche theology

Book Two in the Modern Cliches series

~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey there, my name is Ethel Bethany Linde.

I am your perfectly prudish, average twenty-five year old girl. The only thing I am above average in is the fact I made it to twenty-five while still being a virgin. Yes, I managed to make it through my hormone fuelled teen years and college years with my virginity in tact. Although not for lack of trying on my part.

So with that prudish exterior, I have absolutely no fucking clue how to explain or count for the fact I lost my virginity to an Incubus who was summoned to torture and kill me, via sex. Which according to some ancient demon law means we are practically married in the (un)holy eyes of Hell.

Yes, by some unholy, cosmic act of fuckery, I accidentally married a fucking demon.

Thankfully, Mazvahr (Maz for short), was just as enthused as I was and we set upon a mission to find the man who summoned an unholy Incubus to do the dirty deed, in more ways than one, and kill him.

Stuck next to a powerful demon, who requires sex to charge him up and has a super weird rope fetish, to hunt down the asshole who did this to me, all I can say is:

F*ck me.All Rights Reserved

amlkoski demon free freetoread funny hilarious humor humorous incubus moderncliche theology

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24 parts

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Addicted by BD_Connoll

"You have no idea how badly I want to make love to you," he responds with a shake of his head. "I love you so much," he continues and my heart melts. "I love you," I whisper back. "Okay, I'm going to make love to you now, Angel. It will hurt a little, so let me know if it hurts too much," he says and leans down to kiss me. "I'll be gentle," he tells me. Keeping his eyes locked on mine he shifts his hips forward slightly and enters inside of me. My mouth widens as he enters, and I feel a slight pinch. He was right, it does hurt, but it's not terrible. "Christ! You're the sun!" he calls out. I watch his face crumble. He buries his face in my neck and then he's above me again, his hands on my cheeks again. ... For 20 year old Alison Scott, love was never something she deemed herself worthy of. Not until he came along. With his tousled brown hair, lean muscular body and smile that ignited everything south of her body; he was unbearably attractive and intimidating to Alison. She thought he could never be interested in someone like her, until he was. Was living in the same household together with someone you want and need such a great idea? As they embark on this journey together, Alison discovers her own desires as well as all the secrets Isaac keeps. You will become addicted to Addicted. Warning: 'Addicted' contains graphic depiction of violence, sexuality, strong language, mature themes, and drug references. Reader Discretion is advised. BOOK 1: ADDICTED BOOK 2: CRAVED (in the making)

Call Me Death by ItsJustX

Also checkout BOOK 2 BOOK 1 "If this is going to work I think we should introduce ourselves. For a moment there I almost forgot my manners. How rude would that be? Beatam me mortem. Sorry," chuckles, " Latin always seems to slip out," sighs, "In simpler terms call me death." The first day of 18 year old Wilson having a job ever and being a detective starts off with a psycho path girl with a skull outline drawn on her face going down to her neck claiming to be death. Trying to figure her out he finds him self questioning life in general. Seeing her insane personality there is one question left on the table no one thought would come to mind. Especially in this reality of theirs. Can she really be death? [ NOTE: Mature level is on because of descriptive violence ] (COMPLETED BUT THERE IS SMALL EDITING TO CHECK FOR SPELLING ERRORS)

His Guardian Demon by UnimpressedStudios

All demons who have been in Hell 5 years or less get assigned a person to hover over until said person finally dies. This isn't to protect them; It's rather a little gesture that ensures that the person will go to Hell if that wasn't clear already. The most immoral people are typically who these demons get assigned to. Alaska, since she's only been in Hell for 2 years, is not happy in the slightest to have to go into the human world to poke and prod at some guy who's definitely going to Hell anyway. She doesn't see a point and thinks she's going to be bored to tears. But, upon meeting the man she's been assigned, and discovering they aren't so different, Alaska begins to think that this is going to be more entertaining than she anticipated.... *I do not own the cover photo, and do not claim it as my own.* Updates will be slow, my apologies. Now with a sequel! Go read "His Bride To Be" next!

How To: Not Completely Ruin Your Life (#Wattys2015) by MizMic

Are You Looking For Serious Self Help? ...No? PERFECT! Congratulations On Getting This Far, Other Candidates Have Not Fared So Well (this means they died.) First Time Book Writer, Long Time User Of Words - I Imagine This Is Very Reassuring. So This Is Me, All Me, Unplugged. I Encourage You To Join In, Comment, Share, Ask Questions, Come To My House (.....Scrap The Last One) This Is As Much Your Book As It Is Mine. Lets Find Out What You Wrote, Shall We? Twitter - @OfficialMizMic Instagram - @OfficialMizMic

THE INFERNAL FEE by SACCHARIN3_LOS3R

Maybe DON'T take a book home that kept falling off a shelf, no matter how many times you put it back in...But, did you take that advice before you took it home? No, of course not! Even after you noticed the Satanic marking, and the fact that the book's title was LITERALLY "Get your revenge:Guide to summon the devil to make a deal". You thought maybe it was a joke some stupid teenagers were playing in a public library, so you took it anyways, just to teach those dumb kids a lesson. You also (stupidly)decided to test it out just for a laugh. Little did you know, it wasn't a prank...Turns out, you actually summoned THE Devil. Now, he's in your living room, and trying to persuade you into making a deal. Oh the things you do when you're a heartbroken 23 year old. {Yandere "The devil" x male reader}

Lucifer's Gift by EpsilonAngel

*Book one in the Hell's Company series* Lucifer was the brightest angel in Heaven, But in service of God, he was condemned to darkness. After thousands of years, the darkness took root inside him. ~ Ammi is a flame no one can extinguish Forged from God's holy fire to combat his darkness. A gift made for Lucifer. ~ He clucked his tongue disparagingly, shaking his head, "Tell me your full name." I groaned, running a hand down my face. "Fine. But I'm not explaining it to you." His face told me that I would if he wanted me to, but I soldiered on. "My full first name is Amirykal. Happy?" I muttered. His reaction took me completely by surprise. He blinked slowly at first, processing, then his face split into a wide grin and he threw back his head and laughed uproariously. I was hit with a wave of arousal at the sound of it-it was rumbling and husky, heating me up at the core. "What's so funny?" I grumbled, sure he was laughing at my expense. He looked down, that gorgeous grin still on his chiseled face, showcasing his lovely white teeth. "Oh, Kitten. Your name, Amirykal, do you know its meaning?" He asked, his voice sensual and erotic as he spoke my name. "No-I was found with that name." I answered struggling to keep my voice even as he slowly approached, like a predator would his prey. "Well, Love, I'll tell you. Amirykal means 'gift', or, more exactly, 'a gift from God'." He purred as he got closer and closer, so there was barely a foot between us. "And why is that funny?" I had a very hard time focusing on the conversation at hand with him at this proximity, using that lovely tone. "Because, Amirykal, I am Lucifer. And God made you to be mine." *HIGHEST RANKS*: #1 in Paranormal #2 in Supernatural #7 in Werewolf* *Takes many liberties on Biblical stories and has graphic violence and adult content. Please do not read if such things offend you.*

The Satan's Eve (Completed)✔ NOT EDITED by Sheewrites_4fun

HIGHEST RANKING-1st in wedding! {23/05/18} & 1st in Laugh! {11/08/18} 13th in Romance! {03/12/18} Sequel to Mr Hulk's Jelly Bunny->Can be read as a stand alone book. Evelina/Velina Storm is a 22 year old half human-half vampire girl who works as a Manager at a restaurant despite the fact that her family is wealthy. You can say that she is the good type of girl but once you hit a bad nerve then well...goodluck. One thing she always keeps in mind is to never show her weaknesses no matter how the situation is. Adam Vernom is a 28 year old Vampire who is also a Ceo of the Vernom Company Ltd. He is the type of guy who you never want to mess with. Of all the things he hates, there is only one which he despises the most which is mates. Adam does not believe in mates, he thinks that they only exist just to destroy lives. What will happen when these two meet? What will happen when Adam know that Velina is his mate? Will Velina resist his seducing ability? Will Adam hate her? After all she is his mate... -------- He yanked me closer to him till our breaths became one and our tips of our noses touched. My eyes bulged like freaking saucers and were staring at his hot ones. "Satan huh? Then Let me show you how he is like." In one swift movement he crashed his plum lips onto mine. I wanted to push him away but could not. I felt my knees buckled and my stomach churned. There was a strange sensation which was restraining me from pushing him away. He plunged his moist tongue inside my mouth exploring every inch of it. My heart was racing and my breaths were hot. I could not help but move in sync with his pace. It was as if it was a magnet pulling me more and more to him. ------- P.s : Please do not copy or take my ideas as they are purely original and my imaginations. Thank you. ♡Also! If you enjoyed this story don't hesitate to share it with your friends! ;)

Manoeuvre by authbysayu

[BANNER BROTHERS SERIES # 1] Amidst the chaos, he maneuvered his way to her. --- manoeuvre --- "Everything is fair in love and war," I begin smoothly. She shoots me a glare before flipping me off. "Get out of my room." She shoves her suitcase inside and slams the door right in my face. I stifle a groan, pouting at the closed door. "Let me in! We're married!" I yell, ignoring the weird looks I'm getting from people passing by. "Yeah? Only for the sake of this mission!" she snaps from the other side. I blink. Once. Twice. Well, where the hell am I supposed to sleep now? I glance at the extra key card in my hand. I booked only one hotel room but if I get inside, she will choke me to death. A wave of laughter bubbles out of me at my own stupidity. ⚡ TW: Abuse, Bullying, Blood & Gore

It's A Cliche by lolipopnerd

Hey kids. Do you love watpadd? Are you tired of cliche's? Do you just want to read something funny? Well here's the book for you. Its a humourous parody for watpadd cliches. All you have to do is check it out. You'll fall in love. She was a storm; not the kind you run from, oh no... The kind you chase. ••• What is this idiot doing? He's making a scene, people are staring. Oh God please kill me now. I close my eyes and pray; Oh God just let the ground open up and swallow me... Pretty please? I peek from one eye to check if I've magically teleported... Nope! Still in this nightmare. "will... You... Marry... Me?", he stops singing and looks at me hopefully. Tristan why?! Why you gotta be so weird all the time? I look around to see the crowd watching wide eyed. Some look at me expectantly while the others look like they're about to cry due to this sham of affectionate 'love'. Oh what do I do now? "Tristan... We're in -. "She said yes!" they all applaud ecstatically. 'I hate people'

i'm back, baby by gothasf

Benny walked into his house, knowing that since it was Thursday, Grandma Weir would be at her "Latenight Bingo." Where she gets drunk and spends the night at her friend Shelby's house. Benny threw down his now empty bag on the couch and collapsed next to it, running his hand through his shaggy hair. "Every supernatural creature is after this stupid Lucifractor thing- that we are now in possession of, Ethan's date with Sarah was ruined, and everything just sucks," Benny absently whined out loud. "Can things get any worse?" he groaned, throwing his head back and staring at the ceiling. "I'm glad you asked." Benny shot his head up at the voice. He knows that voice all too well. That deep yet girly voice he once loved. And when he looked up, he wished he hadn't. Cause he met glances with bright green eyes with a tint of blue. The curly black haired beauty he once loved more than his Grandma's freshly baked cookies was leaning against the wall, hair now pin straight, leather jacket-covered arms folded, a smirk playing on her burgundy colored lips. "Hi Benny Boo," she put on a sentimental smile and batted her eyes innocently, "did you miss me?" Benny just let out a high pitched scream. __________ When Benny Weir's ex-girlfriend shows up out of nowhere after having mysteriously fallen off of the face of the Earth two years ago and leaving her friends behind with no indication of where she was or what happened, Benny is hysterical. She left him all alone when he needed her most, with starting their first year of High School just days after she left. But he didn't have much time to think about it, for he knew that with what was going on with the Lucifractor, she wasn't there for a reunion. She changed, dramatically, from her hair to her outfits to her makeup. But this wasn't like her- at all. Something happened, and Benny was going to figure out what it was. __________ I do not own any "My Babysitter's A Vampire" characters or the plot foundation of the story.

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Slide 1 of 10

Call Me Death cover

His Guardian Demon cover

How To: Not Completely Ruin Your Life (#Wattys2015) cover

THE INFERNAL FEE cover

Lucifer's Gift cover

The Satan's Eve (Completed)✔ NOT EDITED cover

Manoeuvre cover

It's A Cliche cover

i'm back, baby cover

Addicted

"You have no idea how badly I want to make love to you," he responds with a shake of his head. "I love you so much," he continues and my heart melts. "I love you," I whisper back. "Okay, I'm going to make love to you now, Angel. It will hurt a little, so let me know if it hurts too much," he says and leans down to kiss me. "I'll be gentle," he tells me. Keeping his eyes locked on mine he shifts his hips forward slightly and enters inside of me. My mouth widens as he enters, and I feel a slight pinch. He was right, it does hurt, but it's not terrible. "Christ! You're the sun!" he calls out. I watch his face crumble. He buries his face in my neck and then he's above me again, his hands on my cheeks again. ... For 20 year old Alison Scott, love was never something she deemed herself worthy of. Not until he came along. With his tousled brown hair, lean muscular body and smile that ignited everything south of her body; he was unbearably attractive and intimidating to Alison. She thought he could never be interested in someone like her, until he was. Was living in the same household together with someone you want and need such a great idea? As they embark on this journey together, Alison discovers her own desires as well as all the secrets Isaac keeps. You will become addicted to Addicted. Warning: 'Addicted' contains graphic depiction of violence, sexuality, strong language, mature themes, and drug references. Reader Discretion is advised. BOOK 1: ADDICTED BOOK 2: CRAVED (in the making)