F*ck Me (Modern Cliches, #2) - Anna Koski - Wattpad

F*ck Me (Modern Cliches, #2)

Reads 246,284
Votes 13,710
Parts 24
Time 2h 49m

Reads 246,284
Votes 13,710
Parts 24
Time 2h 49m

amlkoski demon free freetoread funny hilarious humor humorous incubus moderncliche theology

Book Two in the Modern Cliches series

~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey there, my name is Ethel Bethany Linde.

I am your perfectly prudish, average twenty-five year old girl. The only thing I am above average in is the fact I made it to twenty-five while still being a virgin. Yes, I managed to make it through my hormone fuelled teen years and college years with my virginity in tact. Although not for lack of trying on my part.

So with that prudish exterior, I have absolutely no fucking clue how to explain or count for the fact I lost my virginity to an Incubus who was summoned to torture and kill me, via sex. Which according to some ancient demon law means we are practically married in the (un)holy eyes of Hell.

Yes, by some unholy, cosmic act of fuckery, I accidentally married a fucking demon.

Thankfully, Mazvahr (Maz for short), was just as enthused as I was and we set upon a mission to find the man who summoned an unholy Incubus to do the dirty deed, in more ways than one, and kill him.

Stuck next to a powerful demon, who requires sex to charge him up and has a super weird rope fetish, to hunt down the asshole who did this to me, all I can say is:

F*ck me.All Rights Reserved

amlkoski demon free freetoread funny hilarious humor humorous incubus moderncliche theology

Table of contents

24 parts

Sign up to add F*ck Me (Modern Cliches, #2) to your library and receive updates

or

Content Guidelines

You may also like

Blooded to a Vampire by KrazyObsession

I'm Kiera Calloway and I'm a witch. No, seriously. I am. The day of my Awakening, the High Priestess of my Clan (Daughters of the Moon), names me the next Heir and almost surprised the appetite out of me. Almost. Then, I'm introduced to the other Powers That Be: the Weres (NightWalkers) and the Vamps (Black Blood) on an empty stomach. Then, I met Kiel Fang, the next Heir to the Black Blood. He unmakes me, ruins me and will probably be the death of me. Too bad I'd lost all logical thought sometime after I met him, and I don't care, even though I probably should, since you know, he drinks blood like I drink milkshake. I am playing with fire, hoping maybe to get burnt a little by his heat. No, not hoping. I craved it. I am blooded with a Vampire and my world has turned on itself.

Are You Sh!tting Me (Modern Cliches, #3) by AMLKoski

Book three of the Modern Cliche Series ~~~~~~~~~~~ Sup, my name is Sammi Catherine Knapper. I am your permanently exhausted, introverted twenty-five year old. The only thing I am above average in is the fact I can pull all nighters and still get to work in the morning. Yes, I have the super human power called being a night owl who has insomnia. It's incurable, believe me, I've tried. So with that permanently exhausted exterior, I have absolutely no fucking clue how to explain or account for the fact I had a vampire crawl into my bedroom at night trying to figure out how the whole blood sucking thing worked. Yes, I some how managed to have a baby vamp attempt to test his new vampiric nature on me. Thankfully, Jake (surfer dude turned bloodsucker), was just as confused as I was by his vampire abilities, drinking blood to survive aside, and we set upon a mission to figure out just what being a vampire meant and what he needed to do as well as track down his one night stand vampire daddy to give him hell. Teaching a vampire how to be a vampire, meeting a sibling group of baby vampires, starting a night time inventory business, as well as being kidnapped by an alcoholic vamp daddy, all I can say is: Are you shitting me?

His Guardian Demon by UnimpressedStudios

All demons who have been in Hell 5 years or less get assigned a person to hover over until said person finally dies. This isn't to protect them; It's rather a little gesture that ensures that the person will go to Hell if that wasn't clear already. The most immoral people are typically who these demons get assigned to. Alaska, since she's only been in Hell for 2 years, is not happy in the slightest to have to go into the human world to poke and prod at some guy who's definitely going to Hell anyway. She doesn't see a point and thinks she's going to be bored to tears. But, upon meeting the man she's been assigned, and discovering they aren't so different, Alaska begins to think that this is going to be more entertaining than she anticipated.... *I do not own the cover photo, and do not claim it as my own.* Updates will be slow, my apologies. Now with a sequel! Go read "His Bride To Be" next!

Kill Me Now (Modern Cliches, #1) by AMLKoski

Book One of the Modern Cliches series ~~~~~~~~~~~ Hi, my name is Sasha Elaine Wimbleton. I am your perfectly average twenty four year girl. The only thing I am slight above average for is the cynical and snark categories but I had an average childhood, an average school experience, average friends, marks, parents, and life. So in a life full of averages I have absolutely no fucking clue how to explain or count for the fact I was kidnapped by a self professed werewolf who claimed I was his undeniable, true love, one of a kind, soul mate. I'm sorry but I'm really not into that whole Stockholm Syndrome thing... This isn't mentioning his pack is in this long standing feud with his younger brother, Fergus, who wants him dead because of a reason he wouldn't tell me. I only met him a few times where he and Damien snapped and snarled at each other and exchanged threats. In which I was either being manhandled by Damien or with his Beta, Vince LeStat, a.k.a. the future father of my children. Stuck in a pack of testosterone filled fucking werewolves and being unable to actually make a move on the guy I dig because the guy who is obsessed with me has declared he will kill any man that touches me. All I can say is: Fucking kill me now.

Call Me Death by ItsJustX

Also checkout BOOK 2 BOOK 1 "If this is going to work I think we should introduce ourselves. For a moment there I almost forgot my manners. How rude would that be? Beatam me mortem. Sorry," chuckles, " Latin always seems to slip out," sighs, "In simpler terms call me death." The first day of 18 year old Wilson having a job ever and being a detective starts off with a psycho path girl with a skull outline drawn on her face going down to her neck claiming to be death. Trying to figure her out he finds him self questioning life in general. Seeing her insane personality there is one question left on the table no one thought would come to mind. Especially in this reality of theirs. Can she really be death? [ NOTE: Mature level is on because of descriptive violence ] (COMPLETED BUT THERE IS SMALL EDITING TO CHECK FOR SPELLING ERRORS)

Unshackling the King (The Dragon Lorde #1) by CblaRae00

"Yes, I am!!!" Kaede leans down to her ear his hot breath tickling her cheek in a tantalizing way, as swooping butterflies made way to her stomach. "I see. But that doesn't change the fact that you're a idiotic female, who will only serve as a distraction." The fluttering butterflies froze in her stomach and spiraled into icy icicles, as fury wraped tightly around her mind. "Indeed, I am a girl. But I'm also an idiotic girl who will follow you anyway. Even if her insufferable bodyguard says no." Emoriah, whispers threateningly. Kaede's dark penetrating gaze burns Emoriah to her core, as he peers down on her frame with a hardened expression upon his face. "You're playing a losing game Emoriah. But very well come. It seems I have no other choice." Emoriah smiles behind her hand before lifting her eyes to meet his stormy gaze. "No, you really don't." .. Emoriah isn't just an average 15-year-old girl. She grew up bullied without a fatherly figure. But what made her different was the day she burned her school down. That's when the numerous secrets spilled their way from her mother's lips. Emoriah learned she wasn't as human as she thought. That her father never left them but went missing. But most importantly he was a king. A king of another world. A world of dragons, creatures, and demons from hell. With her feminist views and fiery spirit she'll let no man stand in her way. But could one icy mask of a boy change her mind? Well, that's for you to find out. #11 comedy 7/19/19 #1 Featured 7/13/19 #6 Feminism 6/19/19 #9 fantasy 6/28/19 #9 1800s 7/9/19 #10 Adventure 6/27/19 #3 Elves!! 4/30/19 #9 Fae 4/29/19 #25 action 6/27/19 Also!! I was never able to find the photographer of this picture. So pls dm me if you know:)

THE INFERNAL FEE by SACCHARIN3_LOS3R

Maybe DON'T take a book home that kept falling off a shelf, no matter how many times you put it back in...But, did you take that advice before you took it home? No, of course not! Even after you noticed the Satanic marking, and the fact that the book's title was LITERALLY "Get your revenge:Guide to summon the devil to make a deal". You thought maybe it was a joke some stupid teenagers were playing in a public library, so you took it anyways, just to teach those dumb kids a lesson. You also (stupidly)decided to test it out just for a laugh. Little did you know, it wasn't a prank...Turns out, you actually summoned THE Devil. Now, he's in your living room, and trying to persuade you into making a deal. Oh the things you do when you're a heartbroken 23 year old. {Yandere "The devil" x male reader}

It's A Cliche by lolipopnerd

Hey kids. Do you love watpadd? Are you tired of cliche's? Do you just want to read something funny? Well here's the book for you. Its a humourous parody for watpadd cliches. All you have to do is check it out. You'll fall in love. She was a storm; not the kind you run from, oh no... The kind you chase. ••• What is this idiot doing? He's making a scene, people are staring. Oh God please kill me now. I close my eyes and pray; Oh God just let the ground open up and swallow me... Pretty please? I peek from one eye to check if I've magically teleported... Nope! Still in this nightmare. "will... You... Marry... Me?", he stops singing and looks at me hopefully. Tristan why?! Why you gotta be so weird all the time? I look around to see the crowd watching wide eyed. Some look at me expectantly while the others look like they're about to cry due to this sham of affectionate 'love'. Oh what do I do now? "Tristan... We're in -. "She said yes!" they all applaud ecstatically. 'I hate people'

Fated by JaideHarley

****COMPLETED**** "You're driving me crazy," I growled, dropping my hand down to her waist then around to her lower back, sucking her earlobe into my mouth and dragging my teeth along it. She groaned and dropped her head back against the wall. Her sounds were intoxicating. I could smell how much she was responding to me and it brought my need for her out even more. I cupped her cheek and brought my lips over to hers, just barely brushing against them. "Addie," I whispered against her mouth, threading my hand through her hair. ... Addie has been abducted and thrown into the supernatural world. She discovers vampires have kidnapped her to manipulate an Alpha werewolf. Not just any werewolf, her mate. Or so the guy in the cell next to her says. Problem is, they've underestimated her because she's human. She's going to show them how much damage a human can do. Alpha Xander's past comes back to haunt him and his Beta has been missing for two days. Xander is finally contacted and offered a deal: his life for his Beta's and the mate he has yet to meet. He's been waiting his whole life to meet his mate and will do anything to keep her safe. Except she doesn't need as much help as he thought she might. #2 in pack on 5/22 #1 in mates 6/22 WARNING This is an adult book. It will have mature language and scenes.

How To: Not Completely Ruin Your Life (#Wattys2015) by MizMic

Are You Looking For Serious Self Help? ...No? PERFECT! Congratulations On Getting This Far, Other Candidates Have Not Fared So Well (this means they died.) First Time Book Writer, Long Time User Of Words - I Imagine This Is Very Reassuring. So This Is Me, All Me, Unplugged. I Encourage You To Join In, Comment, Share, Ask Questions, Come To My House (.....Scrap The Last One) This Is As Much Your Book As It Is Mine. Lets Find Out What You Wrote, Shall We? Twitter - @OfficialMizMic Instagram - @OfficialMizMic

You may also like

Slide 1 of 10

Blooded to a Vampire cover

Are You Sh!tting Me (Modern Cliches, #3) cover

His Guardian Demon cover

Kill Me Now (Modern Cliches, #1) cover

Call Me Death cover

Unshackling the King (The Dragon Lorde #1) cover

THE INFERNAL FEE cover

It's A Cliche cover

How To: Not Completely Ruin Your Life (#Wattys2015) cover

Blooded to a Vampire

I'm Kiera Calloway and I'm a witch. No, seriously. I am. The day of my Awakening, the High Priestess of my Clan (Daughters of the Moon), names me the next Heir and almost surprised the appetite out of me. Almost. Then, I'm introduced to the other Powers That Be: the Weres (NightWalkers) and the Vamps (Black Blood) on an empty stomach. Then, I met Kiel Fang, the next Heir to the Black Blood. He unmakes me, ruins me and will probably be the death of me. Too bad I'd lost all logical thought sometime after I met him, and I don't care, even though I probably should, since you know, he drinks blood like I drink milkshake. I am playing with fire, hoping maybe to get burnt a little by his heat. No, not hoping. I craved it. I am blooded with a Vampire and my world has turned on itself.