Dear Ian
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- Parts 2
Do you ever know how it feels like to see the one you love, love someone else? And the thought of that someone else is that they don't deserve that someone you love? It hurts like hell; like a thousand knives been thrown to you all at once. And you can't even look back because you are stuck having to see them both together. What makes it even worse is that, he is my best friend. He is the love of my life. But... He doesn't even know it yet. Soon... I always have this thought hat me and him would never happen. 99% say that he will never fall in love with me but it is that 1% that keeps me going. What is 1% with 99%? Clearly my chances are impossible it will never ever happen! But I'm not that type who gives up that easily. He is someone I love. No, I am not obsessed or anything. If I were obsessed, I would've killed that little bitch already. But no, I am not a psychopath either. I just don't want to see my best friend get hurt.He is everything to me. It's kind've like my whole life is a joke. Yeah it sucks to be me.
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"Treasure what're you doing awake by this time". I heard my mum voice trailing behind. I shivered,I knew perfectly the rules of not being awake by this time. I would only get scolded at and maybe my phone seized. But it's not really my fault for wanting a distraction from my messy life. I just couldn't take it anymore,I was tired of thinking of my life I was tired of blaming God for the circumstances before me. Sometimes I feel like a burden and sometimes I wished I was never born. Life is cruel and learning from you mistakes doesn't count anymore. I have been told about how things would be fine by my mates. Encouraging words to keep me going, but it's simply not working. I would have committed suicide but I don't want to put my mum through that pain. She is my most favorite person in the universe. "Tress I'm talking to you. What are you doing awake?" I could feel my mum presence right behind me and dare not move. "Mum I just woke up and was just scrolling through Facebook sorry". I said after waking up from my trance. "You know the rules,no phones at night. Don't make me believe you have a boyfriend. Goodnight and put off that phone. Mum loves you. Goodnight Tress". "Goodnight Mum,sorry for breaking the rules. It won't happen again. I love you too". I smiled at her and watched her leave. I was actually texting my boyfriend.. Thank goodness he didn't call tho. That was really close, didn't want my mum to worry about me....
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