No One Ever Truly Cares

My name is Kailey Rogers.

I wasn't always so isolated and sad, but I can't seem to pinpoint where it all went wrong.

I have good memories, but they've gotten lost along the way.

I'm 24, single and live at home.

I envy my sister Gemma, 23. And seem to always annoy everyone. I have no friends, I considered my sister my best friend.

And I have dark thoughts and dreams.

It's not always of myself dying. But it has been recently.

Things that happen during the day that people disregard have me questioning life, and my existence.

I would never kill myself. But I dream of it.

I dream of what it would be like to die.

Like the daydream of death, I had today.

That's why I'm sitting on the edge of my bed, wondering what it would be like to die. If all of my family just so happened to step into the hallway to use the toilet or go upstairs at the same time as the ceiling above me finally gave way. If all the cracks in the ceiling joined and there was a sudden snapping sound and I looked up to see the ceiling fall to my bedroom floor, as everything in the attic came down around me, before the weight became too much for my bedroom floor and I found myself falling down to the living room. It would happen so fast. My bed shifting under me making the mattress slip from beneath me, I'd fall backwards as something sharp comes through my bed frame and slices into my back, coming out of my chest. I'd cry out in agony and upon hearing all this my family would look into the room through the dining room doorway. They'd watch my body be impaled and my head slack to the side, facing them, as blood drips from my mouth. Death would slowly be creeping in on me just, so I can see their faces as I'm dying. So, I can see if I actually meant anything to them at all. So, I'd know if I'd be missed or loved.