When Life Gives You Strawberry Cheesecake

I feel my pulse. My heart is beating quickly. I can feel the tenseness in my neck, my shoulders. Why am I so tense? A weight drops on my chest. I try to reach for words to write, but nothing sounds correct. Not anymore. A fan is blowing hard on my legs from where it stands on the floor beside the bed I am currently reclining on, I know they will numb soon. My back hurts. My head hurts. Nothing has been right, not since he left. Not since after he came and swept me off my feet, feeding me false promises of love and security and family and forever. I should have known it was too good to be true, someone like him taking a chance with someone like me. I was a naïve idiota. I still am.

Ah well, nothing I can do about it, I guess. All there is left for me is to pick up the pieces of my shattered life and get on with it. I will not be weak. I refuse to play the victim anymore. I will get stronger, better. And someday, I will be strong enough to say his name out loud without feeling this crippling heaviness.