Not Just Nothing

Background:

You know how they say that when one door closes, another opens? A window of opportunity. A new chance. When all hope is lost and suddenly something happens to turn it all around. Well I didn’t believe in any of that. After my little brother died, I had lost all hope. Everything had lost its purpose. Life had no meaning. I couldn’t stand to see all the places that we used to play, or watch as our community and everyone in it was able to go about their daily lives when I could not. My life had stopped completely. I’m eighteen years old. I should be handling this better. But I wasn’t. After it had happened, I went to stay with some family friends just to get away. But that didn’t help. Everything reminded me of the little boy who always made me laugh. The one who lived in his own little world and thought life so simple and kind. He was thirteen years old when he died. And I would never forgive myself for what I did. No one should. Everyone looked at me as if I was some kind of alien with antennas growing out of my head. Why shouldn’t they? Even my own parents were resentful towards me. So after graduation I left. I took all my savings, bought a ticket to London and was gone. Without even telling anybody where I was going or why. They already knew, and you know what? Nobody would care. As if anybody cared about me anymore. I was nothing…