In the Rouge

In a world... Where star-crossed lovers guarantee sales and novels lack all novelty... Comes a story so generic that it will appeal to everyone of every generation forever... The story of a ruggedly handsome man of indeterminate age, named Guy who meets an exquisitely beautiful recently-come-of-age woman, named Eve. It's love at first sight, but one of them has a secret... A secret so big that it will tear them apart forever... Or will it?
The world may never know, because this is not that book. This book is clever and will appeal to a specific audience. People who like witty humor and realistic characters. People who like a large dose of laughter in their sci-fi.
Wherein:
Liam Gatley is—was a normal, just-trying-to-get-by-with-as-little-effort-as-possible university student. But he’s just woken up from a birthday bender in a recruiting office, and before he can even figure out what’s happened, he’s rushed aboard the (in)famous ISS Titan to hunt down interstellar pirates as a proud—and completely expendable—member of the Imperial Space Corps. Suddenly it’s hard to imagine life being any worse . . .
It turns out Liam just needs a better imagination.
On his first day, Liam is shot, stabbed, crushed, electrocuted, asphyxiated, and drowned. It gets even worse when the Titan runs afoul of a telepathic mutant who turns the ship’s own crew against her. Now Liam’s talent at not-quite-dying might save the day, but he’ll still have to lose his mind to survive. And if he can manage that, he’ll have to battle an overzealous military commander whose ambition threatens the entire Interstellar Human Empire.
If he ever hopes to make it home again, Liam will have to risk everything to save the empire. On the bright side, he may just get the girl in the process.