Puns
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Do you know why kleptomaniacs have a hard time understanding puns?
----Because they take things literally.
______________________________________
Okay, I get it. My puns are really not pun-ny.
If they're ruining your day, I should be pun-ished!
Higjest ranking: #12 in Puns
Find me: @fida969
Seluruh Hak Cipta Dilindungi Undang-Undang
#322
pickuplines
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![Maybe it's Destiny [needs MAJOR editing]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/21285618-256-k230800.jpg)
Maybe it's Destiny [needs MAJOR editing]
She smiled. “We should probably work on what we came here for.” “Good idea. Whoa, since when do you have good ideas?” I teased. “Chaste, the day you have a good idea will be the day Spongebob gets his license‒never.” ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ Madeline Schultz comes from a dirt-poor family, and has to work hard at SEVERAL jobs. At school she remains somewhat known, but doesn't tell anybody about her situation at home, not wanting to be treated differently. Flynn Chaste is filthy rich. Popular, captain of the quidditch‒okay, soccer‒team. He's the kind of guy who likes to mess around and have fun (and by fun I mean pick up girls). He needs a good, hardworking girl to give him a reality check. A girl who can match his major level of sarcasm. That girl? You've probably already figured out by now. © 2014, Kaylee. All Rights Reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. [cover by worldgirlalwaysxx] Just going to warn you, that this is an extremely rough draft and something that I am not very proud of. The story line is okay, but there are some plot holes and the writing is just overall 'eh'. So read at your own risk!Lengkap
𝚂𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕.
"𝘕𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶︱𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 ︱𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵, 30 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 ︱𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶" ~ A NYC LOVE STORYLengkap
The Number On The Napkin
"Is your refrigerator running?" "No, my refrigerator is not running." "Well you better...wait, what?" "Actually, it broke down a week ago because it knew that you were going to call with that stupid line and it decided it would rather die than listen to you say it. So now, thanks to you, I don't have a fridge and all of my food has gone bad." • • • Sometimes you find the crucial answers in the weirdest of places...and people.Lengkap
Crossroads
"You make me want to do things to you." He mumbles, his brown eyes never straying from mine. "What?" I whisper, nervous yet at the same time my heart pounds with excitement and anticipation. "Do you want to know what kind of things?" His low tone matches mine as he brings his face closer and I find myself robbed of speech due to our proximity. Taking my silence as his sign, he continues to lean closer. His lips caress my ear as he says "Things like this." Suddenly I feel something wet and thick being dumped onto my hair, soon the liquid drips down onto my shirt. Is that paint? Blue paint proceeds to slide down onto my shirt and my eyes widen when I hear Caleb howling with laughter. "Caleb fucking Carter!" I bellow and before I know it he breaks into a run, still laughing. ________________ Highest Rankings #1 - projectbadassgirls #1 - humor #8 - badboyLengkap
The Delivery Guy ✔
↱ 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗚𝘂𝘆 ↰ ↳ A S H O R T S T O R Y ↲ ❛I'll be going to charge you extra ,if you gawk me like that.❜ ❛Only if you want to get a hit on your head with my brand new shoe.❜ ❖❖❖ ❛❛Didn't you already received an order at 11 in the morning? It's 5 in the evening, how much do you order, huh?❜❜ ❛❛I already said, I'm a lifestyle blogger but that's nothing to do with you, just do your work with deliveries, 𝘋𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘎𝘶𝘺!.❜❜ ❛❛Even though I 'already' said, I'll repeat it again for the nth time, I'm Not 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘎𝘶𝘺!❜❜ ❖❖❖ ❛Don't Worry, I won't charge you extra for gawking me like that.❜ ❛Sadly, I don't have any brand new shoe to hit your head with.❜ . ×------× #01 in 𝗙𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 102 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 23/01/22 #01 in 𝗕𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 3.62𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 21/11/21 #02 in 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 3.62𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 17/08/21. #03 in 𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 116 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 23/01/22. #03 in 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 3.62𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 06/07/21. #04 in 𝗕𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 866 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 20/01/22 #04 in 𝗙𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 102 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘯 20.01.22. #05 in 𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 116 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 20/01/22. #06 in 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 3.62𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 13/06/21. © LihaMirza.Lengkap
Violet's Delight
"Well then. That's the first time a girl has ever rejected my close proximity," he said, eyes ablaze with a playful fire. "You better get used to it," I retorted as I spun on my heel and headed for the school doors that led to the outside. "I've never met anyone like you before," he called after me, this time, not coming after me. "I know, Romeo. I'm a special little snowflake," I called back, not turning around. "You got the 'little' part right there, Princess!" he shouted after me. I threw up my middle finger back to him and heard him laugh as I exited out the doors rather dramatically. ... I'm tired of all those high school stories about a straight-A girl student with the perfect life who falls for the stereotypical Mr. Bad Boy who wears leather black jackets and only has a soft spot for her. That's not how the real world works, sweetheart. I may look like a damsel, but I'm never in distress. ... Not me making fun of the "she's not like every other girl" trope <3 o.o :)) I like to think I'm funny. After all: #3 in amusement 10/22/22 #1 in banter 10/31/22 #3 in friendship 11/7/22Lengkap
I won't be impressed by technology until I can download food
Hello there fellow humans. Get ready to listen to my story. If you can... Understand my humor... Then... You will love this... "Batman out" *Hits a wall* "To be or not to be" "Wait, wrong answer" Highest ranking: 2 in humor. Wait... 2 as in 2! Wow! This is my life folks. No I'm not kidding. It's all for real! Now I must get back to my Toothless plush named Batman!Lengkap
Jokes Hahaha
Jokes taken online, enjoyLengkap
Bound To Be
Trigger warning for the following: -mature content -some strong language -fighting -mentions of abuse Everything was cool. It was fine and normal until, a new family moves I'm next door. The beautiful family seemed normal enough, but something was off. Their son didn't fit into the rest of them. He was mysterious and seemed a little bit standoffish. He seemed rude and like he didn't belong. Meeting him went well, and she catches his eye. Going to school together and their families spending some time together causes them to grow closer. So close that things happen. What happens? Do sparks fly?Lengkap
Dare You To Move
Friends with benefits is supposed to be just that. Friends with the benefits of fooling around and not having anything more than platonic feelings. Easy, fun, thrilling, no one gets hurt...right? ----------------------------------- The work here is mine and under no circumstance does anyone have permission to repost to any platform, distribute with credit, or distribute as their own. Do not repost. Do not claim as your own. Do not repost with "credit".Lengkap
She smiled. “We should probably work on what we came here for.” “Good idea. Whoa, since when do you have good ideas?” I teased. “Chaste, the day you have a good idea will be the day Spongebob gets his license‒never.” ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ Madeline Schultz comes from a dirt-poor family, and has to work hard at SEVERAL jobs. At school she remains somewhat known, but doesn't tell anybody about her situation at home, not wanting to be treated differently. Flynn Chaste is filthy rich. Popular, captain of the quidditch‒okay, soccer‒team. He's the kind of guy who likes to mess around and have fun (and by fun I mean pick up girls). He needs a good, hardworking girl to give him a reality check. A girl who can match his major level of sarcasm. That girl? You've probably already figured out by now. © 2014, Kaylee. All Rights Reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. [cover by worldgirlalwaysxx] Just going to warn you, that this is an extremely rough draft and something that I am not very proud of. The story line is okay, but there are some plot holes and the writing is just overall 'eh'. So read at your own risk!
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