My Gay Life in Real Time

Reads 136
Votes 2
Parts 2
Time 5m

Reads 136
Votes 2
Parts 2
Time 5m

anxiety bisexual depression gay homophobia lesbian lgbt love

I'm 18, I'm gay. This is like my diary, in real time, for you all to read. Maybe I can ease the minds of other people like me, and provide some solace in the shitty part between being in the closet and coming out.All Rights Reserved

anxiety bisexual depression gay homophobia lesbian lgbt love

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I've written 3 anonymous online journals so far in my life. The first was as an adolescent, ending when, at 19, I commenced a long term relationship in which my partner had an issue with me writing about my thoughts and feelings in case they were about her. I also had to cease my other creative outlet - drawing. Because she felt it's abstracted nature hid secret messages about her. The second started when that relationship was coming to an end. I needed an outlet. I had nobody to talk to about what I was going through so I secretly started writing again. This is that second journal, when I was around 25 years old, which I've taken from it's retired blogger page and have transferred here. Part of the reason I am doing this is because my daughter, who was very young at the time of writing this, has expressed some curiosity about my journal. One day when she's older and has more life experience it might be OK to see what I'm writing now, but in the meantime, she can read this, a moment in my life for which she was present but that she could not understand at the time.

The Gods of Song and Poetry by AnnieKenyon2

"Was that flirting? It kind of felt like flirting. No. Couldn't be. She just thinks the senior girl is cool, like all of my sister's other friends. I was just wishing it was flirting. She's the new girl, she's super cute, and she makes me feel really good about myself. It's normal, I assured myself, but in no way could I let this turn into a crush." Coming out just before her freshman year of high school, Analee didn't have an LGBTQ community to join. In her small town, she WAS the LGBTQ community. When two new girls move into town her senior year, one older, one younger, everything changes for her. It turns out falling in love is harder than she thinks. Even with a steadfast belief in true love, Analee finds navigating romance, friendships, and family something that has to be figured out one day at a time.

We've all been through ups and downs in life and not all of us can speak our minds. I'm not the kind of person that can just talk to anyone about my thoughts and problems. No I can't talk to anyone because no one knows what's going on in my life. I've tried talking to people but it just seems impossible for them to understand. My life isn't completely shit, but it's close. It's not the people in my life, it's not the things they do, it's just me and my mind.

The Girl with no Emotions (GirlxGirl) by Kathy202

I was only 7 when I met her, but we had an instant connection. We were inseperable. She was always happy and joyful around me, but me on the other hand, I was a completely different story. I suffered a disorder that caused me to have no emotions. I told her my condition and she understood, but one day she dissapeared, I didn't feel sad, worried or angry like I should have. I just continued my day like any other day, but by myself. I continued to have no friends as I got older and talked to no one, but it didn't bother me. I soon became the "weirdo" as most people would say. I became known as the girl with no emotions.

The Boy Who Lived Again (boyxboy) (COMPLETED) by Fallen_Angel0416

What if you committed suicide one day. After just one horrible day that set you off. You know, the bullies and the mean classmates who want to help but don't. And your crush refuses to help you one night. What if another woke up months later with no memory? You don't know who you are, nothing seems familiar. All you know is that something draws you to a boy who died months ago right before school ended. A lot of people care that he is dead, they feel responsible. Another boy catches your attention and you can't help but feel something for him. What if he's the answer to your problem but he won't talk about the dead boy? What if he does? Can you win over his trust and figure things out or will meeting him awaken something in you, you may or may not have known? or seen coming...

Day-in-the-Life Of A Bi Person by itsnotgifitsgif

This is going to be like a diary-journal thing because I feel like people need to know about this kinda stuff. I've been getting a lot of hate recently since I've come out on social media and irl, so I just want to keep tabs on what happens and how it really affects my mind? idk you can read this if you want but I don't recommend it. Comments are always welcome btw!!! A.N. I meant to publish this awhile ago, but never did b/c reasons and raisins. All well, it's published now so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sperate me form this hell (Yoongi ff) by Timeline899

Dear Diary, I've been going through some tough times and I don't know what to do my best friend moved to America she was the only person I trusted but my sister. people have been bullying me alot more in highschool physically and mentally I always where my big sweatshirt nowadays..... Dear Diary, I meet new people today, we'll 7 boys to be honest I really like them they make me feel safe. BTS fanfiction maybe 18+ idk yet but for the meantime 13+ •∆• ∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆

Book I in the Seven Sins Series Greyson and Elijah, two of the Seven Deadly Sins. They got lucky, as they were soulmates and didn't have to search the country or even the world for their spiritually intertwined soulmate. However, even with the connection the two shared, they always felt that something was missing from their shared lives, but they didn't know what it was. That was, until twenty three year old Levi entered Greyson's jeweler store and the two sins immediately felt drawn to him. They could see his purity, but they also sensed a dark past and pain in his heart. The two crave the purity of their soulmate, but they must learn how to embrace their broken love and put him back together. book cover done by @ishanwadhwa123 !!!!

"Sinners go to hell!" The preacher yelled and everyone in the room cheered. "They do not deserve a spot in heaven and they do not deserve to keep walking the streets! Sinning is a terrible thing! and what makes a sinner? a good person with a bad soul. Sinning.." He looks around the room. "comes in all different shapes and sizes. Cheating is a sin. Murder is a sin. Everything the bible tells you about is a sin!" It was hard sitting in this room filled with all these people. I kept my head down, avoiding everyone as they were cheering and shouting. Then I looked up and over at her. I watch her sit there, nodding at the preacher and agreeing to everything he was saying. I saw her husband sitting next to her with his arm around her shoulder, staring up at the man in front of everyone. That's when I caught her glance over at me, and in that split second.. I realized that I was a sinner.

Don't Forget Me In The Morning by BandsOrBust

When I was little, I was never healthy for a full day. When I would go to school, I would carry around an oxygen tank so that I could breathe properly. There was once where I had come close to death. At that time, my mother and father promised me that they wouldn't ever leave me. That is, until someone came in an murdered them while I was at school. When I was dropped off from the bus stop, I automatically knew something was wrong because my mother would always wait for me. When she wasn't there, I began to get worried. 'Had she forgotten?' Was the first thing I thought as I walked up the stairs and into my house. 'Mama? Papa?' I questioned walking into their room. As I made the first step in, I heard squishing under my feet as if the carpet was wet.

Cheat

I've written 3 anonymous online journals so far in my life. The first was as an adolescent, ending when, at 19, I commenced a long term relationship in which my partner had an issue with me writing about my thoughts and feelings in case they were about her. I also had to cease my other creative outlet - drawing. Because she felt it's abstracted nature hid secret messages about her. The second started when that relationship was coming to an end. I needed an outlet. I had nobody to talk to about what I was going through so I secretly started writing again. This is that second journal, when I was around 25 years old, which I've taken from it's retired blogger page and have transferred here. Part of the reason I am doing this is because my daughter, who was very young at the time of writing this, has expressed some curiosity about my journal. One day when she's older and has more life experience it might be OK to see what I'm writing now, but in the meantime, she can read this, a moment in my life for which she was present but that she could not understand at the time.

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