Suicide

How many days has it been now? When was the last time I actually went outside willingly? Why can't I be normal? Why can't I just smile normally like everyone else? All these thoughts came to her mind. Tears came out of her eyes even though she didn't feel like crying, they felt like warm drops of acid. She didn't feel emotions she felt empty. She didn't feel like eating, but she forced herself to eat. She wanted to feel emotions again, she can't remember the last time she actually felt emotions instead of putting on an act. She felt as though she was trapped within the despair of her own mind, had she created this despair? she didn't know she had no answer to her own questions. She decided to turn into a doll of society's standards and wishes, since she had no desires or wants herself since she was only a mere emotionless doll in the form of a human trapped in an unending spiral of despair.