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Dead Short

Reads 170
Votes 8
Parts 11
Time 1h 10m

Reads 170
Votes 8
Parts 11
Time 1h 10m

afterlife cannibalism comedy death fairytale fantasy featured grapefruit horror humor narrativepoetry poetry satan scifi shipwrecked shortstory wattys2018 zombies

Death! Zombies! Cannibalism! Grapefruits!  This collection of darkly humorous short stories and narrative poems, from the co-writer of iBooks best selling book of lies and misinformation 'Not A Lot Of People Know That', has a little something for everyone (unless you happen to be a perfectly sane and well balanced individual).

In 'Death After Life', a lowly supermarket shelf stacker chokes to death on a peanut during a zombie outbreak, and is rather disappointed to learn he still has to go in to work the next day.

In 'Blue Murder', a shipwrecked Englishman learns there's only one thing worse than being stranded alone in the middle of the ocean, and that's being stranded in the middle of the ocean with a ravenous American.

In the deeply romantic love ballad 'Butt Ugly' a man attempts to come to terms with the fact that his girlfriend's not quite the looker she used to be, since she lost her face in an office shredder.

All this, and more!All Rights Reserved

afterlife cannibalism comedy death fairytale fantasy featured grapefruit horror humor narrativepoetry poetry satan scifi shipwrecked shortstory wattys2018 zombies

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Life = Death - volume 4 - Poems on Life , Death by nikhilparekh

This Book which has 50 differently titled Poems , is actually volume 4 of the Book titled - Life = Death - Poems on Life , Death ( 1200 pages ) . This enigmatic collection of poems explores and equates the boundless possibilities of life and death and delves into each intricate inexplicability of survival. Parekh's roving philosophical eye brings the unconquerable richness of life to the fore and yet at the same time explicitly highlights the veracity of 'death' as the absolute certainty of every existence. The poet joyously celebrates the occasions of both life and death with equal panache in each poetic stanza sewn with the uncanny mysteries of this Universe. The poems within immortalize both life and death as the ultimate victories and the two most contrastingly amazing and divine sides of creation. Catapulting the reader to the threshold of ultimate ecstasy; they bring about an impromptu twist with the closure of breath and what lies beyond. This charismatically woven collection of poetic verse would equally enamor the narcissist as well as the simple humanitarian to the core. This book is a humble attempt to enlighten the readers with the equality of life and death-and to live in both of them to the most unparalleled fullest. Embracing only the religion of humanity, as the Lord has commanded every living being on earth. You cant die in life and cant live in death-each of these components are irrefutably equal in every respect and should be worshipped with due obeisance.

Gentry's Chance by BrookeDittmar93

I'm excited for this one! As I'm watching her being laid to rest, it occurs to me that I know less about life than I do about death. She's gone, and I'm still here. If she wanted anything, she wanted me to live, but as long as I'm here, I'm not living. Life is fragile, or so I've heard. Ashes to ashes dust to dust. If I'm going to live at all starting over is a must. Some are gone, but some are still here. I need to get out of here to somewhere I can trust. I've got little too lose and much to gain. No matter what anyone thinks, I'm not to blame. So fuck it. What is the worst that could happen? I'm going to pack my bags and see what happens. It's completely worth taking my chances. ~ Anonymous ~

Life = Death - volume 3 - Poems on Life , Death by nikhilparekh

This Book which has 50 differently titled Poems , is actually volume 3 of the Book titled - Life = Death - Poems on Life , Death ( 1200 pages ) . This enigmatic collection of poems explores and equates the boundless possibilities of life and death and delves into each intricate inexplicability of survival. Parekh's roving philosophical eye brings the unconquerable richness of life to the fore and yet at the same time explicitly highlights the veracity of 'death' as the absolute certainty of every existence. The poet joyously celebrates the occasions of both life and death with equal panache in each poetic stanza sewn with the uncanny mysteries of this Universe. The poems within immortalize both life and death as the ultimate victories and the two most contrastingly amazing and divine sides of creation. Catapulting the reader to the threshold of ultimate ecstasy; they bring about an impromptu twist with the closure of breath and what lies beyond. This charismatically woven collection of poetic verse would equally enamor the narcissist as well as the simple humanitarian to the core. This book is a humble attempt to enlighten the readers with the equality of life and death-and to live in both of them to the most unparalleled fullest. Embracing only the religion of humanity, as the Lord has commanded every living being on earth. You cant die in life and cant live in death-each of these components are irrefutably equal in every respect and should be worshipped with due obeisance.

4 Moronic Roommates || BLOXBURG KREW X YHS AU || Discontinued by TasnukIsAnIssue

!! not shipping siblings. please do not ship the krew with each other. !! this is a work of fiction - i am suuei, do not be fooled, i just can't change my username because i'm straight up dumb. this book contains : - trauma responses - mentions of death - mentions of murder and other things that may not be suited for all audiences. --- slow updates.

Post Plague Kidnapping - Published! by vblawnola

It's been five years since the plague struck. Leah knows there are other survivors, but she's avoiding them. She is doing just fine on her own. Surviving after everyone she knew died has made her physically strong and honed her intelligence, but she is emotionally devastated. There is nothing to fear if you don't make yourself emotionally vulnerable. James has spent the last five years helping to build up a colony of survivors. He believes in the small town they have populated and its mission to save humanity from extinction. He and his small team of men find scattered people and bring them in. Over the last two centuries, women have fought for and won more and more rights, gaining equality with men. Society, law, and technology bolsters and enforces these rights, but now they are gone. Women's equality with men is over. There are just too few of them. They aren't lesser but greater, more important, more valuable than men. Men are expendable. Men can stay outside alone if they like, but all women must be brought inside the safety of the Colony and properly taken care of. James has been searching the area Leah lives in. Her time of solitude is up. Leah sparks something in James he's never felt before. He's not letting this one get away, certainly not twice. Warning: Contains sex, some violence, occasional foul language, and adult issues. Genre: Science Fiction, Romance, Post-apocalyptic, Dark romance Length: 84,468 words This book has been published on Amazon. The first ten chapters will be updated to what you get in the published novel and will remain here, so you can try before you buy.

Craig of the Dead by Its_Me_Tweek_Tweak

Hey, you! Yeah, you. Listen up, dude, because I don't have much time. Actually, I have a ton of time, I just don't feel like repeating myself. South Park is infested with zombies. Yeah, you heard me right. Shuffling around, undead, want to eat you zombies. I'm stuck as some kind of leader of a tiny crew of kids. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but everyone else seems to think I do, so I guess we're going with that. In a few days the whole town went from being kinda nuts to completely chaotic. Why do people think I'm a good leader? Why'd all the adults leave? Where's literally half of my grade, they can't all be dead, can they? Why are we not allowed to leave South Park? Do they want us die? How long can we keep on living like this? Most importantly, why couldn't I have just gone with Tweek to the stupid bathroom? Now he's M.I.A. and it's my fault. Anyway, I hope maybe you can find some pleasure in reading this. I mean, I would probably get bored, but whatever floats your boat, dude. Gotta run. Clyde's throwing another fit because someone ate his Hot Pocket (Spoiler Alert, it was me). See ya later, stranger. -Craig **NOTE: the story is not written as journal entries by Craig, I just thought it would be a fun little bit to put as the hook. Apologies if it is misleading.** **ALSO NOTE: the mature content warning is for language, and language only. Well, and I suppose gore and violence, but that depends on what you define as gore and violence**

Revenge Never Knocks by ssynn_xo

A little insight: "Rule number one, do not underestimate your enemy," she laughs, "And as for the game, I have been rolling the dice this whole time," she opens the glass door and puts a leg inside. She looks back at them, "Revenge is a game you play with your enemies. This is my revenge and my game; I make the moves and I triumph." * This is the tale of Revenge Never Knocks, it enters without an invitation when you least expect it. Do you believe in revenge? Do you believe revenge is justice? Should revenge be necessary? And should you go to any extent to exact your revenge? These are some questions this novel pursues. It is astonishing how a night can change lives, whether it be good or bad.This is an epic revenge tale where a fierce, yet introverted girl sets out to avenge her parents' death. She vows to find the monsters that ruined her childhood and took the ones she loves. She will raise hell on earth to ensure the killers get punished. She has a perfect plan but she forgets that life also has a plan. And you probably know that things don't always go according to plan. She is thrown into a world of chaos and mayhem, she doesn't know who to trust. She succeeds and she fails, the question arises if her success is bigger than her failure? This journey brings lies, deceits, and deaths but also love. Just when she thinks that things are going her way, life reminds her otherwise. There are a lot of heartbreaks, twists and turns and unexpected events. Is Vivian prepared for what life has planned for her, find out... AWARDS: WON THIRD PLACE UNDER MYSTERY IN THE SEASONAL CONTESTS! (Summer 2020) WON 2ND PLACE UNDER MYSTERY IN THE MARIGOLD AWARDS!

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Life = Death - volume 4 - Poems on Life , Death cover

Gentry's Chance cover

Life = Death - volume 3 - Poems on Life , Death cover

4 Moronic Roommates || BLOXBURG KREW X YHS AU || Discontinued cover

Post Plague Kidnapping - Published! cover

Craig of the Dead cover

Revenge Never Knocks cover

The Yellow Room & Other Erotica cover

DyverCity cover

Life = Death - volume 10 - Poems on Life , Death cover

Life = Death - volume 4 - Poems on Life , Death

This Book which has 50 differently titled Poems , is actually volume 4 of the Book titled - Life = Death - Poems on Life , Death ( 1200 pages ) . This enigmatic collection of poems explores and equates the boundless possibilities of life and death and delves into each intricate inexplicability of survival. Parekh's roving philosophical eye brings the unconquerable richness of life to the fore and yet at the same time explicitly highlights the veracity of 'death' as the absolute certainty of every existence. The poet joyously celebrates the occasions of both life and death with equal panache in each poetic stanza sewn with the uncanny mysteries of this Universe. The poems within immortalize both life and death as the ultimate victories and the two most contrastingly amazing and divine sides of creation. Catapulting the reader to the threshold of ultimate ecstasy; they bring about an impromptu twist with the closure of breath and what lies beyond. This charismatically woven collection of poetic verse would equally enamor the narcissist as well as the simple humanitarian to the core. This book is a humble attempt to enlighten the readers with the equality of life and death-and to live in both of them to the most unparalleled fullest. Embracing only the religion of humanity, as the Lord has commanded every living being on earth. You cant die in life and cant live in death-each of these components are irrefutably equal in every respect and should be worshipped with due obeisance.