Dead Short - DavidHailwood - Wattpad

Story cover for Dead Short by DavidHailwood

Dead Short

GELESEN 174
Stimmen 8
Teile 11
Zeit 1h 10m

GELESEN 174
Stimmen 8
Teile 11
Zeit 1h 10m

afterlife cannibalism comedy death fairytale fantasy featured grapefruit horror humor narrativepoetry poetry satan scifi shipwrecked shortstory wattys2018 zombies

Death! Zombies! Cannibalism! Grapefruits!  This collection of darkly humorous short stories and narrative poems, from the co-writer of iBooks best selling book of lies and misinformation 'Not A Lot Of People Know That', has a little something for everyone (unless you happen to be a perfectly sane and well balanced individual).

In 'Death After Life', a lowly supermarket shelf stacker chokes to death on a peanut during a zombie outbreak, and is rather disappointed to learn he still has to go in to work the next day.

In 'Blue Murder', a shipwrecked Englishman learns there's only one thing worse than being stranded alone in the middle of the ocean, and that's being stranded in the middle of the ocean with a ravenous American.

In the deeply romantic love ballad 'Butt Ugly' a man attempts to come to terms with the fact that his girlfriend's not quite the looker she used to be, since she lost her face in an office shredder.

All this, and more!Alle Rechte vorbehalten

afterlife cannibalism comedy death fairytale fantasy featured grapefruit horror humor narrativepoetry poetry satan scifi shipwrecked shortstory wattys2018 zombies

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The Gory Details (Gross) von Kate_Papilio

Between 2004 and 2008 I wrote a series of "Tips for Writers" for Nocturnal Ooze magazine vaguely about what would happen in real life if you did the things they do in movies but mostly about the gross out. I've always loved them and so have taken them out of mothballs for a new audience here on wattpad. They're all here except for #13 which seems to have vanished. I've also left them mostly intact except for a few very dated references that have been updated. I own the rights to the articles and Queen Mum of the Ooze, Kay Patterson has allowed me to keep the name "Gore Monger" (which she owns) provided I write: The Gore Monger appears courtesy of Nocturnal Ooze. If you enjoy these articles, please consider supporting me on Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/NogginBrain?fan_landing=true

Emotions In Word's von Marytaongah

words better written than said. Emotions better written than shown. Art better written than painted. poems better written than spoken. Not very one has a voice to speak up so we write instead. Rose's are red violets are blue if you are a Poet or poem lover then you are in luck cause this book is just for you. ___________________________________________ This book has a bunch of my original poems. A few of them rhymed. Enjoy.

I Checked Out the Badboy's Boxers von itzdelicate

"Not the typical cliche teen fiction" "You're hooked from the get go. Pretty much similar to when you can't stop eating till the last slice of pizza, or have the eagerness to pee, but can't because you're scared that if you stop reading you'll miss the intensity each word brings." "There isn't even a word good enough to describe this book. I'm speechless." - "Please Lexa?" Elle looks at me, "Just fill in my spot for ten minutes." At that moment I was calm, what could go wrong with running a checkout isle for ten minutes? As it turns out, everything. -- "Why are you checking me out?" His voice questions. Even his voice is the sexiest thing I've ever heard. Not to mention the broad shoulder, killer jawlined boy it came from. "I wasn't, I swear!" My cheeks blush ferociously. How the hell did he notice? In fact I'd always thought I was pretty stealthy. He just chuckles and looks at me, a rambling mess, "Yes you are." "Okay, alright, you know what-" I pause trying to pick up the pieces of my shattered dignity from the floor, "Maybe you shouldn't come in here like a fracking ambercrombie model and then on top of that blame a poor little innocent girl for looking-" "I meant those. You're checking me out." He gestures to the items laying across the counter and the scanner in my hand. Oh shit. Let me just repeat that for a moment now. Oh shit. -- Started: 12/27/15 Ended: 10/24/18 February 2019: #1 HUMOR -- Warning: I cannot guarantee you will walk away from this book unaffected

SCHOOL HELL SECRETS (COMPLETED) von JeanCrystals

SCHOOL HELL SECRETS. Warning: You're welcome to come but you can't leave without blood, in short you can't leave until you're alive. And if there's a Hell on Earth, It's in Highschool. Isang paaralang hindi mapakailamanan ng gobyerno, dahil ito ay may sariling gobyerno at may hunahawak dito na isang napakataas at napakasikat na tao na hindi mabunyag bunyag kung sino. Paaralang may iba't ibang uri ng tao at Paaralang hindi makakalabas hanggang di natatapos ang Last semester. At may mga bagay na dapat mong sundin kung ayaw mong maparusahan at hindi makalabas. At higit sa lahat ang paaralang ito ay legal ang pag patay at kung ano ang gusto mong gawin sa isang tao. Paaralang Hindi ligtas lalo na't pag mahina ka, Una palang Talo kana. Sariling Katapangan mo lang ang syang magliligtas sa sarili mo. WELCOME TO SCHOOL HELL SECRETS! Aslo known as HELL SCHOOL! *•••*

Writing Scrapbook von kwexell82304

I gracefully raced down to the bulging rocks, stretching across the shore. Eva was waiting for me, her gorgeous brown hair waving in the harsh winds that made our noses numb, and our cheeks turned red as roses. We had been here together as sisters, stranded at this farm. We had been homeschooled, and never really met anybody else, so when our parents died five years ago, nobody had thought to check and see if we were ok. We were set on surviving, and running our small farm by the lake in Iceland. We owned a few cats, a coop of a dozen chickens, and a handful of pigs. They all stay caged up inside, because we're afraid some would walk out the barn and never return. Along with the livestock, we had a small brick shed with a blazing red roof. It used to be where Father worked on making tools and such, but Eva and I have turned it into a secondary little house. There's a loft we stuffed full of crispy, warm hay. When nights on the farm are late, we stay there. Besides, it feels more like home. The house gets cold at times, and nightmares come upon Eva and I. But curled up next to each other in the loft, although uncomfortable, makes the nightmares not strike as hard. This is a collection of short stories, poems, and other writing. It ranges from stories of abandoned girls in the past, to the horrible end of the world in the future, to haiku about a forest, and a poem about waves washing up on the surface. Join me in the 20+ part and 13000+ word collection, and you're in for a real treat, filled with happy poems, and tragedies that are sure to wrench your heart. I will hopefully continuously add to this as a sort of scrapbook for my writing.

Creativity at its finesse ✔️ von SonDinDinDin6

Here are short stories (really short ones) that I wrote years back. I won't say when I was younger, because it was only three/two years back. However some are very recent. So like say the title don't judge me. Please excuse any grammatical errors, English is not my first language. (I speak French, but I am fluent in English). Hope you enjoy! CHAPTERS 5, 6, 7 ARE THE BEST ONE (well they are my favourite ) so I advise you to start with them? And chapter 6 and 7 were written with my friends for school and two of them Is on wattpad. So shoutout to @MariyahNakhuda and @sister_of_devil Chapter 1: Murder at Hilton Hill Chapter 2: You are a fudging Voldemort Chapter 3: Mistaken Identity Chapter 4: I shall return! Chapter 5: This is bad! Chapter 6: Hi, my name is Hell! Chapter 7: I am a woman Chapter 8: The vault

The First 30 Days (PUBLISHED) von Haven84

No one saw it coming. No one could have guessed that the vaccine that was supposed to save lives, would take them instead. Once the death toll started to climb, it took less than a day for the world to change forever. When Bri's roommate suddenly develops a taste for cannibalism, she finds herself trapped in her upstairs bathroom, unable to comprehend the horrors that she sees through the small window. That limited view of the outside world doesn't begin to show Bri just how much danger she's going to be in when she finally escapes her home. Running for her life, Bri won't be alone for long. With the help of a bat wielding stranger, she barely escapes the overrun city. Together, they just might survive long enough to find a safe haven. The zombie apocalypse is a strange time to be alive. The dead walk, and eat the living, but they're not the most dangerous thing this new world has to offer. There are other survivors out there. And not all of them can be trusted. Completed ***PUBLISHING! This story will be removed , in part, on 9-11-19. It will be available to purchase on 9-28-19. Cover credit to Shaheen Po Copyright 2017 Lora Powell *chosen by @AMC in promotion of The Walking Dead *Highest rank #1 in zombie *Winner best horror in The Glimmer Awards 2017 *Winner first place in the horror-thriller-mystery category for The Majestic Awards 2017 *Winner first place horror in The Writers Corner's Summer Olympics contest 2017 Wattpad reviews, @rebel697 writes: This was my one morning to sleep in without the grandmonsters here and what did I do? I woke up at 6:30am thinking about Bri and Shawn and had to come upstairs to read. Great book. Not usually my genre but I'm hooked, again. @TheSaddestStory writes: Aaaaaaand I'm hooked, lol. I better go say farewell to my family before I continue this story and lose myself completely.

Creative Writing Stories from a Fatal Dramatic Experience von macmackielabs

It is a collection of my creative writing stories in any genre related to the person who is victimized in bullying, oppression, discrimination, looks down, and says harsh words that result in plotted revenge against the merciless and savage people. I write of this collection writing stories related to my painful experiences and agonies from when I was in Grade 10 until now. I'm not perfect in writings especially in writing correct grammar and typing incorrectly spelling of words but please give me a chance to welcome in Wattpad as a writer. I write of my compositions related to my painful experiences as a victim of bullying, oppression, discrimination, looking down and say harsh words of the merciless and savage people like my neighbor and my classmates. It is better to compose in writing related to my painful experience than to fight for my rights as a victim because they are created the fake truth about me like they say I'm bad that causes no one will stay by my side. This is also my freedom to voice out of pain using composition writing because they are not listening to my side and they are listening to the wrong people. Hopefully, you enjoy reading my composition related to the people's experiences who are always victimized in the maltreatment of everyone. Plagiarism lessens your multiple intelligence. If you are interested to read my creating stories, you have free to vote on every works that I compose.

The Alpha Calls Me Kitten von self-absorbed

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Blogs from the Bermuda Triangle von Brainsparks4U2

Blogs from the Bermuda Triangle, is a compilation of sometimes heart wrenching, fictitious, and almost always hilarious, blog postings, guaranteed to take you on an emotional roller-coaster ride, through the mind of an often naïve, and always funny, internet virgin. From Last Chance to Enlarge, to Love on a 54kModem, Blogs from the Bermuda Triangle will have you wetting your pants with laughter. An invaluable tool for navigating the internet ... -Bill Gates- (The Guy that hornswoggled Microsoft) Written in the style of Ted Nancy's "Letters from a Nut," (which sold over a gazillion copies.) Blogs from the Bermuda Triangle, leaves Nancy's letters in the dust, (because this author is twisted) while creating an internet nobody wants to travel alone. -Ted (you owe me a hundred-bucks for that endorsement) Nancy. Blogs from the Bermuda Triangle fires up an imaginary, internet search engine, where the hilariously, riotous results, are straight out of The Twilight Zone. -Rod Serling- Blogs from the Bermuda Triangle could replace anti-depressants, as a treatment for melancholy. -Sigmund Freud's ghost- Grab yourself a Martha Stewart blanket, and some popcorn, because Blogs from the Bermuda Triangle is about to take you on a laugh-filled adventure, through the eyes of one of America's funniest, and freshest, upcoming Authors. -Martha Stewart- Finally, an internet guide for adults, that shows them just what not to step in. I laughed until I died again. -Mark Twain-

Vielleicht gefällt dir auch

Slide 1 of 10

The Gory Details (Gross) cover

Emotions In Word's cover

I Checked Out the Badboy's Boxers cover

SCHOOL HELL SECRETS (COMPLETED) cover

Writing Scrapbook cover

Creativity at its finesse ✔️ cover

The First 30 Days (PUBLISHED) cover

Creative Writing Stories from a Fatal Dramatic Experience cover

The Alpha Calls Me Kitten cover

Blogs from the Bermuda Triangle cover

The Gory Details (Gross)

Between 2004 and 2008 I wrote a series of "Tips for Writers" for Nocturnal Ooze magazine vaguely about what would happen in real life if you did the things they do in movies but mostly about the gross out. I've always loved them and so have taken them out of mothballs for a new audience here on wattpad. They're all here except for #13 which seems to have vanished. I've also left them mostly intact except for a few very dated references that have been updated. I own the rights to the articles and Queen Mum of the Ooze, Kay Patterson has allowed me to keep the name "Gore Monger" (which she owns) provided I write: The Gore Monger appears courtesy of Nocturnal Ooze. If you enjoy these articles, please consider supporting me on Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/NogginBrain?fan_landing=true