What I Wish For and Understand - YaoiAnimeAwesomeness - Wattpad

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What I Wish For and Understand

YaoiAnimeAwesomeness

Reads 4
Votes 0
Parts 3
Time 10m

Reads 4
Votes 0
Parts 3
Time 10m

YaoiAnimeAwesomeness

mythoughts sadness

Read my inner thoughts! The first chapter is something I found on backup data from around 5 or 7 years ago. This might be interesting and some people might have something similar. I remember a few things that I still feel now that I knew I wanted to write in this journal I had on my phone before. Every chapter that I find while going through my phone will have something to show it. Keep in mind that some of these things may sound weird to some and relatable to others. We are all different, and we have different backstories and thoughts. There are just some people that we are mentally closer to. 

As you read this I hope you realize that these come from both the brain and the heart, and none of these are made up as a fiction tale of thoughts. These are my real thoughts, and my thought process. I would also ask that you please not hate on these chapters because that is directing me as a victim at the mental level, and these are very delicate thoughts that I would almost rather delete them all. Please also keep in mind I wrote these when I was younger and he only thing that I have fixed on my chapters is if I see my name, I blank it out with an underline. 

Thanks for reading this if you do, and positive feedback would help me greatly.All Rights Reserved

mythoughts sadness

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"Was it worth the cost?" by Ava0anonymous

"We are all meant to die just once, but apparently, that is nothing short of a lie. A fake reality that we are taught in adolescence. When I learned that truth, I lost everything. ፈᏗᏁᏗᏒᎩ When you calmed my mind, you changed me and took the last thing from me that I had. Now I am alone in this world a victim of its unending cruelty. All of you will learn that. When you do you will wish that you treated me better while you had the chance, " This is not a romance novel. Do not think this is a romance novel. The sequel is thought. Not all mobile devices will be able to show all the text accurately as I use fonts as a conveyer of mental health. Warning Every warning you can think of. There will be gore rape torture and what is worse. Also, I make stories by writing the story plot and everything, and rewriting it to fit in the small details. The chapters all the final ones but the story itself has been finished.

all the things I never got to tell you. by SidTheSloth0615

"I like that I can read this in a child like voice for the beginning and that it's descriptive yet secretive." "I have so many things to say, but I'll start with, this was amazing. You seriously depicted every emotional turn with such great detail and strength and it's simply amazing" "You never cease to amaze me." * All the things I wish I could say but life just got in the way. My hopes and dreams all taken, my life turned around, I got lost and I don't think I'll ever be found. This story is a series of letters to my sister Ashley, someone I never had the chance to meet. It will walk through when I was a child and found out I was getting a sister to when I got older and understood why she never came into this world. Through this story you will see how this one thing had such an impact on my life and made me the person I am today. This one moment is what got me into writing. I went from imagining who she'd be as a person to making my own characters and stories so that I could escape the real world. This is my story. This is Ashley's story. This is my life. Update: The book is complete. I have revised and edited and I don't feel that there is anything left I need to say. Thank you for the reads, make sure to vote comment and follow.

$Suicidal Attraction {Old Version} by _DarkQueen$

"When people who have trust issues fall in love it's scary. The people they fall for fill up that hole in their life that was left by someone who caused them to have trust issues. The person starts to fill whole and happy; like this person is the one. But when that one person leaves,the one who made them invincible,they're crushed. The persons life gets worse and they fall deeper and deeper into that hole. The hole of what used to be." Kira Green is one that never wanted to fall in love. She planned on being alone and pushed everyone who loved her away. She gets bullied relentlessly even though she tries her hardest not to be seen. But in our society,the more one tries to hide, the more one is exposed. When Logan Williams came bursting into her life like he did, she didn't know what to think of this charming boy. He was different than the rest of the world. For the first time, a person wanted to know about the scars on Kira's heart than the ones on her wrists. She doesn't trust him at all. She wants absolutely nothing to do with Logan,but somehow he finds a way to meddle his way into her life. And when he figures out more about Kira,he's more than shocked. He doesn't see a girl who hates the entire world ,but hates herself even more. He doesn't see a fat, ugly, whore when gazing into her eyes. He sees a girl who's been wronged by the world left and right. He sees a girl who cares music more than she cares about her own life. He sees a person who needs love. But not everyone who you try to save ends up being saved in the end. Sometimes it's just too late. As Kira always says ,"Happily ever after was so once upon a time." This book does not promote self harm or suicide. And it also doesn't romanticize it. It simply is a story about two broken people on a quest to fix one another and mange to somehow fall in love with each other along the way. FYI THIS IS NOT A FAN FICTION! THIS IS AN ORIGINAL STORY CREATED BY ME!!!

Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️ by ZaynismRules

***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.

Stephen x Hosuh (angst oneshots) by NinesAnderson

I just want to say that mental disorders are not a joke. This book is a venting/stress relief to me. I do not wish harm apon anyone. If this really bothers you im sorry. I for one, enjoy writing sad stories with unhappy endings. Anyway, i nust had to put that out there, im not making fun of mental disorders. Thank you. Maky, im always open for requests! If Dan, Hosuh, joey, Or Stephen Are Uncomfortable I Will Delete This. If you dont like Stephen x Hosuh, why tf are you here? There are many spoilers just gonna say. Heeyyy!!! Some chapters might be fluffy! Yeah, so if i run out of sad ideas i can make yall fan/girl/boy/zie over it! Xd good luckk Tw: Death Suicide Self-harm(abuse) Anorexia Bulimia Nervosa Food Restrictions Post Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD Child neglect Bullying Bipolar Anxiety Disorder Panic Attack Disorder Schizophrenia Diet Pills OD (Over Dose) Grief Dangerous Actions (Suicidal) Gore Breakdowns Sleep paralysis Murder (mass or one) Phobias There will be some aesthetic chapters and i do continue some of the oneshots! I try to upload everyday but i know i cant do that so i will upload whenever im able to! Motivation is low so uploads will be slow but i promise ill make them good! I have some of these disorders so i understand. Pm me if you need to vent. Im always up, 6am-4pm im at school so ill be offline (GMT-4) i do a lot of all nighters so i will always be free to help! I care even if i dont know you! I have been offline for a bit but i will update this as much as i can! <3 ilya and im here for you lil pickles (idk thats what came to mind) and if you are questioning your sexuality or gender, im here for you! I can help you with that! I have done a lot of research so im open. Top Charts: #1 sadfic #6 Stephen #1 angest #2 Hosuh #1 Danplan #4 schizophrenia

Crushed Underneath the Surface by Michelle_90210

For years, I've been writing in silence, creating worlds, characters, and stories that lived only in the margins of my notebooks and tucked-away folders on my computer. Writing has always been my escape, something I've done for myself-a way to step out of reality for a moment and breathe through the lives of the people I've imagined. I've written and rewritten countless stories, always hesitant to share them, never quite confident enough to let anyone else peek into the depths of my mind. It's always felt like just a hobby, something personal, something safe. But deep down, I've carried a quiet dream of becoming a writer, even though it felt a little foolish to hope for something so big. Now, after pouring myself into this story for what feels like a lifetime, I've finally done it-I've uploaded all my chapters to Wattpad, sharing this piece of me with the world. I know I still have so much to learn, and I'm always striving to get better, but I would truly appreciate any feedback-good, constructive criticism that can help me grow. This is just the beginning, but it feels like a huge step forward. Thank you for taking a chance on this book. Whatever brought you here, whether it was curiosity, a recommendation, or just a moment of wandering, I am truly grateful.

UNLOVED (Gally x Reader Fanfic) by writingb00ks

She still looks the same, sounds the same and loves the same but is she the same, only time can tell. A toxic love story between two ex lovers. The earlier betrayal stabbed her in the heart, quite literally. Once you think it's over, she comes back, like she always does, always for one thing. Him. Once again, she attempts to save the day, but always bottles it, draining herself to protect her loves and not protect her, will this time be different? Will she finally put herself first? Read on to find out. PREQUEL/SEQUEL about my two books HATRED and AGAIN, please go read them before this one, if you don't, you won't understand this book. - One of the random girls spits over the silence, "You're not special y/n." I lean forward, "I'm sorry, who are you?!" - I turn around, immediately seeing her hands trying to touch his chest, I click my mouth, strolling my way towards her. "Touch him one more time and I'm dropping a log on your scruffy bitch face." I spoke with a smile on my face. - "Have you ever had love where everything feels like a puzzle. Where nothing matters to you. Where you can feel free to be at your lowest or highest with them. That's what it feels like between me and Gally, I feel complete." "Love can make you believe a lie." - (Gally x Reader Maze Runner Fanfic) || 3rd and last book of my trilogy || #1 distopian - 15/1/24

Abigail by hmarieh1218

(In editing) She's depressed. She's anorexic. She's suicidal. She's insecure. Abigail has grown up with her three brothers and James, never meeting her parents, who abandoned her at birth. Her brothers were left to take care of her and keep a roof over their heads. Everyday they struggle to take care of Abigail, while working to keep them in their home. Life for them is hard. Life for Abigail is even harder. She has a dark mind and not by choice. Somewhere along the way she's developed these feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. Everyday is a struggle for her and just getting out of bed is a success. She meets Zach, a bad boy with a bad reputation. He starts off as a tutor, just to help her out, out of pity. But eventually feelings get involved and Abigail finds herself liking a boy for the first time in her life. Things get serious and she somehow learns about his drug dealing business. Everything gets hectic and Abigail doesn't know what to do with her life anymore. Or if she even wants to live.

From Books I've Never Wrote by merrychrishler

𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘆, 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗦𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘆 <3 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘃𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 ! like the title says... this is nothing more than texts/extracts of books that I have never actually wrote. This is mostly a few thoughts or ideas that have spiralled through my head at some stage, and I've then typed them out on my laptop and published them to Wattpad. Feel free to read and give me your thoughts on whatever crap I have written down. Love from eIIoquence xx [highest rankings] #𝟭 𝗶𝗻 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗱 #𝟯 𝗶𝗻 𝗲𝘅𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘀 #𝟰 𝗶𝗻 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁𝘆𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 #𝟳 𝗶𝗻 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗺𝘀

broken souls by manicdepressive_

JUST SO EVERYONE KNOWS: this book was not made to glorify self harm and suicide. i wrote this book my sophomore year of high school and based it off of what was happening in my life at the time. self harm is not "quirky" or "fun" and it is a serious issue and can lead to death. the glorification of it on this app and others such as tiktok and tumblr make it so that people who are actually struggling are seen as "attention seekers." non suicidal self injury (NSSI) is a real problem. this book was written from own experiences and not from a person who has no idea what the hell they're talking about. if you are having suicidal thoughts or struggling with self harm, please don't hesitate to reach out to the suicide prevention hotline. even if you don't feel like you can talk on the phone, please text them. they are there to help and i don't want anyone else to go on the same path i was on. --- i'm fin e is the biggest lie i tell myself i'm fine is the biggest lie i tell everyone else because i'm not fine and nobody can see it ---- She woke up wishing she didn't. She's given up because surely others have, too. She was the mistake they took in. ---- Ahsoka Tano has only known one things since becoming Anakin Skywalker's Padawan: failure. Her master claims he would never trade her for anything, but she can only think of his pity and her own self-let down. Now struggling with her own mental struggles, Ahsoka wonders if anybody is still here for her; if anybody has noticed she's started to drown slowly and painfully from her own self-hatred. And Anakin has no idea she's pretending to be okay. ---- tbh this book is the epitome of shit but i hope u like it this one is 10000% better than any of my other works so read this one instead TRIGGER WARNING: DARK THEMES INCLUDED this book contains strong language, self harm, drug abuse, suicidal thoughts and actions. if any of those make you uncomfortable, read at your own discretion.

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Slide 1 of 10

"Was it worth the cost?" cover

all the things I never got to tell you. cover

Suicidal Attraction {Old Version} cover

Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️ cover

Stephen x Hosuh (angst oneshots) cover

Crushed Underneath the Surface cover

UNLOVED (Gally x Reader Fanfic) cover

From Books I've Never Wrote cover

broken souls cover

"Was it worth the cost?"

"We are all meant to die just once, but apparently, that is nothing short of a lie. A fake reality that we are taught in adolescence. When I learned that truth, I lost everything. ፈᏗᏁᏗᏒᎩ When you calmed my mind, you changed me and took the last thing from me that I had. Now I am alone in this world a victim of its unending cruelty. All of you will learn that. When you do you will wish that you treated me better while you had the chance, " This is not a romance novel. Do not think this is a romance novel. The sequel is thought. Not all mobile devices will be able to show all the text accurately as I use fonts as a conveyer of mental health. Warning Every warning you can think of. There will be gore rape torture and what is worse. Also, I make stories by writing the story plot and everything, and rewriting it to fit in the small details. The chapters all the final ones but the story itself has been finished.