Surviving me. Becomming my own friend

Surviving me. Becomming my own friend

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I have been overweight 80% of my whole life. I am mid-life , quit smoking, divorced and trying to get healthy. Did you hear that NOT SKINNY but healthy. I am journaling my struggles an successes using my smart ass dry humor. I have an amazing sense of humor and over the years I've learned to laugh at myself. No joke though being obese is not a joke. Being unhealthy no laughing matter. But learning to love yourself unconditionally is a journey. Welcome aboard please keep arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times.
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#22
learningtolove
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I gave the best of myself to someone who didn't have anything to lose. I didn't know how to avoid my lover's toxic and abusive flames. My lover's twisted words were like a maze inside of my head that I couldn't escape. Sadly, my lover's actions hypnotized my thoughts and paralyzed my thinking. I learned the hard way that love isn't leaning in for a kiss, and a fist meets you halfway. Love isn't being a punching bag because someone decided they wanted to beat on you today. Love isn't saying I love you just because someone wants to keep you to themselves. I tried to be there for my lover, but I learned it is impossible to fix the broken pieces when the glass has shattered. There will always be pieces that are not repairable. However, I kept going right back to the person who I needed to walk away from. I was afraid, and I wasn't brave enough to wake up from this nightmare! I made the choice to suffer when life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. Will I find the courage to know my worth and know that I deserve better than the distasteful lies that are whispered in my ears? Will I have the strength to fight my insecurities? Will, I set myself free, or will I let my love be the death of me?

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