If Not Now, When? // Book 1 - Awsten Jones - Wattpad

Story cover for If Not Now, When? // Book 1 by Awsten_IsDead

If Not Now, When? // Book 1

Reads 2,606
Votes 67
Parts 37
Time 5h 15m

Reads 2,606
Votes 67
Parts 37
Time 5h 15m

Mature

bluemurryseries bullied dating daybyday death depression drama family firstperson highschool love original romance series suicideattempt teen teenagers wattys2018 wattys2019

What started off as a normal year for Michaela Amiri, turned into a nightmare of twists and turns, haunting her every thought.
She becomes severely injured in a petty fight with a school bully.
She has to attend court hearings after someone breaks into the school and threatens her and her boyfriend.
One of her best friends is kidnapped and tortured in the next town over.
Finally, peace rested in the town of Blue Murry.
That was, until someone smashed their car into her parents while out on a business trip in Melbourne. They were killed.
Michaela and her brother get sent into a spiral of mental problems.

Until she really can't take it anymore.

(Warning! Dark themes, suicide, depression, anxiety and mental disorders.)

Book 1 of 4.
P U B L I S H E D :
If Not Now, When? - Published May 2018
If Not Here, Where? - Published Feb 2019
U P C O M I N G :
If Not Me, Who? - Expected Early to Mid 2020-21
If Not This, How? - Release date unknownAll Rights Reserved

bluemurryseries bullied dating daybyday death depression drama family firstperson highschool love original romance series suicideattempt teen teenagers wattys2018 wattys2019

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37 parts

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Bad Memories by Spiderninja_1

"What's happening to me, that's real. I feel like I can't be close with people anymore. That incident that happened last year, I assure you. It's not just a bad memory." Kyle Mim struggles in life dealing with the anxiety and flashbacks of a traumatic event. Reluctant to live his life to his fullest, he must figure out how to deal with his mental health, while balancing his life with school, family, and friends. ---------- I've done my absolute best to make this as accurate as possible. But seeing that I've never had a personal experience with most of these topics in the story, there's a bit of a limit for me. After all, the internet can only give me so much information. Began: November 28, 2018 Ended: April 16, 2019

Like Gold by meddlingkids

[WATTY'S SHORTLIST 2021 & 2022] "I love every part of you. Not because of who you were before, but because of who you are now, in spite of all the bullshit this universe has sent your way." Jasmine Ali is broken. After watching her best friend die, she walks through life with a strained smile and heavy heart, trying her best to seem like everything is okay. All that matters is getting through her daily routine. But when Jace Wilson appears with a limp and a frown, her mask begins to slip. And Jasmine begins to learn that nothing is ever truly broken.

Say You Won't Let Go by miagolding

***AVAILABLE AS A PAPERBACK ON AMAZON*** Warning: More than half the chapters are taken down due to a copyright agreement with the published Amazon version. Alexa Parker is your typical high school golden girl. But when her best friend commits suicide, she loses everything, including herself. Left with nothing but an ominous letter addressed to her, Alexa finds herself spiraling down a dark tunnel. One she won't be able to get out of alone. Then there's charming and sweet Blake. He wants to show Alexa how to live again and show her that she's stronger than she thinks. But overcoming her personal demons may prove harder for Alexa than she thought. With the help of Blake and his sisters, Alexa finds herself and learns to love in the process. - achievements: #1 in suicide prevention cover by @ashleethegoodgirl

at the edge of the cliff || ✔ by dotalleway

shay daniels She's been through a lot. Abusive father. Abusive step father sent by the abusive father. Mother thrown in jail for a crime she didn't exactly do. Probation officer. Depression. Suicidal thoughts. The whole shebang. grayson delgato Now he's been through a lot too. Death in the family. And that's about it. But it was enough to send him on a downhill spiral of a number of things: he goes through his own kind of depression, his previous perfect relationship with his parents is now gone, and his "golden boy" reputation is slowly deteriorating. They come together when Shay was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I think now that maybe it was the right place at the right time. Their lives are very different, but they are both going through the same internal battle with themselves. Maybe they'll help each other. Maybe they'll make it worse. Maybe in the end their time together is just a waste. Who knows. But it all gets figured out at the edge of the cliff. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - pretty proud of this kinda cheesy, kinda cliche but at the same time kinda not just trust me its good

Darker Than Sin by LaurenJ22

When good girl highschooler Ellie falls in love with an ex-convict, old family secrets come back to haunt them and keep them apart. ***** Living up to her "good girl" reputation had never been an issue for Ellie Browning, a small town Australian highschooler. That is until she meets Haze. Handsome, tattooed, and with a criminal past, he is everything she was taught to avoid. Unable to control their feelings, the two form an unbreakable bond that unearths family secrets and emotional turmoil for Ellie and everyone she has ever loved. With all odds against them, Ellie and Haze must ultimately choose between their love and familial obligations. [[word count: 150,000-200,000 words]]

Happily Ever After Comes At A Price by kenopsial_euphoria

⁂2021 Wattys Shortlist winner⁂ Every person dreams of an happily ever after. That's why it's such a cliche. Yet hope always prevails. Everyone wants a happily ever after. Only to later realize no such thing exists. Afghan girl Selina Zafeer moves to America with her parents in hope to find a better life. The new high school drama brings out a completely different version of herself that she never knew existed. Selina makes new friends, finds herself in love, a twisted love that changes her life forever. But that's not how it ends. Tragedy strikes, as always. And leaves her crumbled, trying to put all the pieces back together. Will she ever get the happily ever after she had forever dreamed of? Highest ranks in tags: #3rd in Afghanistan #1st in Bangladesh Cover credits- Taoseef Rahman

Gangleader's Lost by PeacefullyUnknown

He loved me, He loved me not He loved me, but not, in the way I needed him to say. "When you lose someone who use to be your everything it's like if the sun was to collapse or all the oxygen in the air was to run out. You don't think you can live without it and in fact you can't, because you become so immune to it, that there isn't life without it. I guess that's what happened when he left. " -Gangleader's lost, Jinx It had been 4 years since Jinx left the town she grew up in behind her in hopes of a more stable and normal life after she was broken in the best way possible by the Anderson's. But what if a tragedy strikes in the most unexpected way causing her to have to come back? What if the Anderson's are back, the ones who caused her disappearance in the first place? // It's been 4 years since Ace Anderson took his gang and left as far away as they all possibly could, all to protect his younger brother. But what if faith takes its course and gives him another chance to say all the things he couldn't all those years ago, but would Jinx actually believe him or would it just be a Gangleader's Lost? *Book 2 but can be read as a stand alone.* Heads will bump and hearts will collide and who's to say they'll all make it out alive.

Seafoam //Completed// by iriz_flower

***1st Place Winner in Teen Fiction for the Undiscovered Writer Awards*** ***One of the EarnestyWriterAwards favorite female leads*** Lulu's mom is sick and Lulu desperately wants to be free of all her troubles so she convinces herself that she no longer needs to stay a part of this world. At 13, she decides to jump off a light house balcony and become a part of the ocean. That night, she meets a boy who convinces her to live for at least one more day. After spending the night running around the town with him, a tragedy strikes and Lulu wakes up in the hospital, unaware of what happened to the boy. Years later, it is senior year and Lulu's mom has finally died. She hides once more behind the delusion that she doesn't belong in this world. But fate has another plan for her and now, it's her turn to save someone from themselves. Can she save herself in the process? Credit to the awesome @MulanJiang for the beautiful cover! "A thing I really loved in it is that it can talk about serious subjects like death and sickness without shocking anyone, thanks to the very particular way of writing."- from Book Reviews by @jackandjack22 "The story was beautifully depicted and the characters were very appealing. The story exposes its characters in their raw and vulnerable form-allowing the audience to sympathize and relate to them."-from Young Adult Book Reviews by @theyoungadultawards created 1/22/2016

First Love, The Sinner & The Saint by LouLeigh481

Have you ever felt like life wasn't enough, like you were going through the motions day in, day out, all you wanted was a change. Well one day I woke up and made that change, I was no longer the well behaved boy that did as he was told, I was a new person and I wanted to do things my way. I wanted to do what made me feel alive, even if that was murder of innocent people, I wanted to grab someone and watch the life drain out of their faces, it pleased me.. it made me feel alive. This is my story of heartbreak and turmoil, friends lost and friends gained, families torn apart by my needs. This is my life, and I'm proud to be the man I am. Dated created 9th August 2020 Date completed 15th August 2020 Word count 50,000-60,000

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Slide 1 of 9

Bad Memories cover

Like Gold cover

Say You Won't Let Go cover

at the edge of the cliff || ✔ cover

Darker Than Sin cover

Happily Ever After Comes At A Price cover

Gangleader's Lost cover

Seafoam //Completed// cover

First Love, The Sinner & The Saint cover

Bad Memories

"What's happening to me, that's real. I feel like I can't be close with people anymore. That incident that happened last year, I assure you. It's not just a bad memory." Kyle Mim struggles in life dealing with the anxiety and flashbacks of a traumatic event. Reluctant to live his life to his fullest, he must figure out how to deal with his mental health, while balancing his life with school, family, and friends. ---------- I've done my absolute best to make this as accurate as possible. But seeing that I've never had a personal experience with most of these topics in the story, there's a bit of a limit for me. After all, the internet can only give me so much information. Began: November 28, 2018 Ended: April 16, 2019