Done The Most Unforgivable

Done The Most Unforgivable

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Tue, May 22, 2018
What I did was horrific I could never forgive myself they didn't deserve that no I did but I couldn't stop..... It's like something else was making me do things. I didn't know I was doing until it was too late.Their scream, still locked in my head keeping me up at night. Knowing that I've done the most unforgivable thing and........ Any living person could ever do.
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I never thought I'd actually do this.... I've thought about it but never actually gone through with it.... The voice in my head has been screaming at me for years... But I never actually tried to do... This... It's hard to be around people when you have someone telling you to tear their throats out with your teeth... But it's worse when you're alone. She tells me to do terrible things to myself... Tells me I'm worthless... Unloved....Expendable... Of course I believe her. She's in my head for Christ's sakes how can I not believe her. It's so hard...I gave in...I had no choice...the temptation is so strong. I can't hug people without wondering what it would feel like to thrust a knife into their back and feel their bodies jerk in surprise as they slowly began to realize...that they're dying.....they're being murdered...and not by a complete stanger...but by a person that they love....that they thought they could trust....oh god I want to...give in..... I can't believe my life is like this. Why me? How could I do such a horrible thing? Why....

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