So You Used to Be Human - Book 3 (Original Version) - Rodney V. Smith - Wattpad

So You Used to Be Human - Book 3 (Original Version)

iamRodneyVSmith

Reads 79,359
Votes 5,627
Parts 52
Time 10h 46m

Reads 79,359
Votes 5,627
Parts 52
Time 10h 46m

iamRodneyVSmith

Mature

bestofwattpad bite bleed blood bloodlust bobthevampire chasingthesun humorous novel vampire vampires

CURRENTLY BEING RE-WRITTEN AS PART OF THE "HOW NOT TO VAMPIRE" SERIES)
It's the week from Hell as Bob tries to save his ex-girlfriend Jaime from certain death... by turning her into a vampire.  Needless to say, she doesn't quite agree with this plan and what follows is an epic journey in the making as Bob and Jaime try to track down the one vampire who might know how to turn Jaime back into a human.  Oh yeah, and Bob's sometime-stalker-ex-girlfriend Beatrice is trying to kill them.  

Book 1: SO I MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE
Book 2: SO I'M A VAMPIRE... NOW WHAT?
Book 3: SO YOU USED TO BE HUMAN
Book 4: SO YOU WANT TO KILL A VAMPIRE (now in drafts to return in Fall 2019?)

Wattpad original: SO YOU MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE (799K reads, featured, #2 in Humor)

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This was originally Book 2 of the series, but it's now Book 3 since SO I'M A VAMPIRE... NOW WHAT has been created to be Book 2.  We've done a bit of editing and SO YOU MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE is now two books instead of one.  Unfortunately, this means that Book 3 (this one) is finished before Book 2.  So if you;re confused, sorry.

 If you're willing to wait a year and read the new book 2 first as it comes out on Wattled, then kudos to you, but to be honest, this book is awesome, so go ahead and read it now.  Or not. Entirely up to you.
 
Hilarity? Hell yes. Vulgar humour and excessive use of all examples of vulgar language that Bob can think up?  You got it!All Rights Reserved

bestofwattpad bite bleed blood bloodlust bobthevampire chasingthesun humorous novel vampire vampires

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So I Might Be a Vampire - Book 1 (Original Version) by iamRodneyVSmith

Bob has got to be the worst vampire in the world. Without a guide to learn how to be a good vampire, he's making it up as he goes along... while holding down a day job. [Previously Featured #2 Vampire ] ***** Everything I'm about to tell you is a lie. Well, except the parts that actually happened, but I'm supposed to let you guess which those are. The parts about me being a vampire, working at a porn shop, and being completely clueless about vampires, those are completely true. Oh, the parts about Claude, my best friend for life, being a gentleman thief? All true. This is NOT a misguided and sordid tell-all about being a modern-day vampire. (wink wink) My vampire club for accidental vampires, Friends of Vlad does not exist. Neither do vampires like the terrifying and beautiful Beatrice. There is no big bad vampire boss named Harry pushing vampires into the 21st Century. Also nope about the vampire club in the heart of Toronto and a big nope on Madame Vera's House of the Not-so-dead. I'm just an ordinary guy who became a vampire. Nothing unusual about that. Nothing at all... [BOOK ONE of CHASING THE SUN SERIES] REVIEWS: @DavidJThirteen Humour has to be one of the toughest genres to get right. This book really pulls it off. Thank you for an enjoyable, entertaining read! @SharylFriend This was awesome beyond mere words!!! Should be a BESTSELLER! @Signed_Sealed_96 This has been by far the best and funniest book I've read. I love this and I can't wait to tell my friends about this b'%&hing vampire story I read nonstop.

How Not to Vampire - Season 1 by iamRodneyVSmith

Vampiring is HARD. Things Bob has on his checklist when he accidentally becomes a vampire: a) forget everything he knows about vampires b) Google vampire survival tactics c) don't get brutally murdered by vampires. Apparently there are vampire LAWS, and Bob, a young, romantically-challenged black man living in Toronto, never got the guidebook. Even though it's not his fault that he's broken every rule, a secret vampire society is hellbent on giving him a more permanent death. With the help of his best pal, Claude, Bob tries to stay alive and hopefully turn around his screwed-up existence in the process. This is a FREE story with Paid Exclusive Chapters. Wattys 2022 Shortlist Wattpad Stormy Nights - Winner 20 CHAPTERS only on Wattpad [[word count: 50,000-75,000 words]] EXCERPT: ****** "Look: vampires are traditionally afraid of religious symbols. It's a well-known fact. If you're any kind of vampire, you should be outta here by now, not just sitting there drinking your coffee." "I'm not actually drinking it yet. Some idiot keeps interrupting me by shoving religious symbols in my face." Claude held up an ornate brass cross with a macabre Jesus Christ in the throes of death, designed to repel any nearby vampires. "Oh look," I said dryly, "the idiot's back." ****** Edited by Debra Goelz Cover model: Ariel Pacheco Cover Photo by: Theik Smith Cover designed by: Rodney V. Smith Want more? JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER: https://discord.gg/brxdsA9 Jaime's Infinite Playlist (spotify) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7DfPirPYtLKwEeSQ1upKZY?si=NhEhkcsIQOOpb7kKXIXWNw Book Playlist: https://music.apple.com/ca/playlist/jaimes-infinite-playlist/pl.u-JPVJCEXxXYv

My Vampire Mate by DreamCatcherGal

Cover made by dogpower77 - Raven is just like any other 18 year old on the planet, with a few exceptions. One, she's a Werewolf. A Werewolf that will find her mate, and soon. But what will she do when she finds out her mate is none other than a Vampire? The species that she not only hates, but almost killed her! When dying isn't on her 'To do' list, what will she do? Will she learn to accept him? Or will she reject him? And with a few bumps along the way, what will happen then? READ THE WARNING AND READ THE TAGS. Warning: Some chapters have been edited, some haven't. Went through a big wattpad phase, you probably know the one. Anyway, I made this when I was like 12 so it's not written very well. But I still like it so I'm keeping it up. -Dreamcatchergal (Also I would read the tags before reading)

The Satan's Eve (Completed)✔ NOT EDITED by Sheewrites_4fun

HIGHEST RANKING-1st in wedding! {23/05/18} & 1st in Laugh! {11/08/18} 13th in Romance! {03/12/18} Sequel to Mr Hulk's Jelly Bunny->Can be read as a stand alone book. Evelina/Velina Storm is a 22 year old half human-half vampire girl who works as a Manager at a restaurant despite the fact that her family is wealthy. You can say that she is the good type of girl but once you hit a bad nerve then well...goodluck. One thing she always keeps in mind is to never show her weaknesses no matter how the situation is. Adam Vernom is a 28 year old Vampire who is also a Ceo of the Vernom Company Ltd. He is the type of guy who you never want to mess with. Of all the things he hates, there is only one which he despises the most which is mates. Adam does not believe in mates, he thinks that they only exist just to destroy lives. What will happen when these two meet? What will happen when Adam know that Velina is his mate? Will Velina resist his seducing ability? Will Adam hate her? After all she is his mate... -------- He yanked me closer to him till our breaths became one and our tips of our noses touched. My eyes bulged like freaking saucers and were staring at his hot ones. "Satan huh? Then Let me show you how he is like." In one swift movement he crashed his plum lips onto mine. I wanted to push him away but could not. I felt my knees buckled and my stomach churned. There was a strange sensation which was restraining me from pushing him away. He plunged his moist tongue inside my mouth exploring every inch of it. My heart was racing and my breaths were hot. I could not help but move in sync with his pace. It was as if it was a magnet pulling me more and more to him. ------- P.s : Please do not copy or take my ideas as they are purely original and my imaginations. Thank you. ♡Also! If you enjoyed this story don't hesitate to share it with your friends! ;)

Rose: Vampire Hunter by xXJade1699xX

What will become of this world if Rose fails to defeat Jamie? How can she trust other people around her outside? How will she be strong enough to kill him? What if the people she loves get hurt, or worst killed? With Justin helping her train, will she be able to catch up to Jamie? This world has been in her hands now, and with her new friends and family she might have a chance on winning. Can they save the world and keep all humans safe? Can they keep their, kind of, secret? How can they do it? How can they defeat him? Will it be worth it if one of them gets killed? Rose has very little time until he has the whole world in his hands. Rose has to make choices soon or it will be too late. She only has one chance. Only one chance to save this world and all who is on it. She knows she might die in this battle, but at least she won't die in vine. Her name is Rose Lee Johnson, the vampire hunter, and this is her story.

#LoveScenes (PG13 Jamie Dornan & Dakota Johnson Romance) SAMPLE by AthenaShakespeare

***FREE SAMPLE***If looking for a unique no holes' barred contemporary #Damie relationship with #LoveScenes so hot they scorch the page and draw you in, check out this explosive exposé. It unfolds from October 2014 just before the final scenes of Fifty Shades of Grey were filmed. What happens between Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan determine the quality of the movie's final cut. Can the co stars steam up the big screen yet remain true to their real life relationships? You have an exclusive back stage pass to their journey of self discovery against a backdrop of working on the world's most anticipated adult movie. From page one, there's laughter, angst, romance, eroticism, secrets, suspense, twists and turns to the thrillingly dangerous dark side, a relationship in infinite shades of grey. The next sharp intake of breath could be yours. This four chapter extract was adapted to suit a larger audience-PG13. The Mature erotic version of this story has 41 parts. Comments from Wattpad readers of the MATURE version of #LoveScenes: I have read hundreds of different fandoms but never once any of that was this detailed and meticulous. You take real characters and real titbits and spin them in such a way to make a riveting story. It is really impressive... The balance of humor & Jamie's dark side is perfect in this story! Your writing prowess keels me over every time!! Of course, these two chapters were hot as f*ck but the depth to both characters was appreciably depicted. This is THE best Damie story I have read! I like Jamie's bloodlust aspect. Awesome!! This was much hotter than the actual elevator scene! Congrats! What an awesome chapter! Fantastic. You write seamlessly and really captured the essence of their being. Very thorough and descriptive. Very realistic too, surprisingly. That's the one thing I think is hardest about fan fiction. Capturing the essence, the personality, behavior, traits of the characters.

A Deadly Love- Book Two by chloblla

There are worse things than death. ___ "What is wrong with you?" I seethed. She had my back against the wall, pinning me down so I couldn't move. She was much stronger than me, even when I used my strength to get out of her embrace. I held her gaze and I knew that she was gone. There wasn't an ounce of goodness left in her body. She laughed at my question. Of course, I knew what was wrong with her. But I have to find a way to get her back. "What is wrong with me? Ha, nothing sweetheart." she told me with a smile on her face. "I'm just having a little fun." "Yeah, and fun for you is killing innocents," I growled. "Oh, I hate to say this to you but they aren't all innocent." I finally broke free of her and I dropped her to the floor. I held her down with both arms while I was on top of her. All she did was give me a smile. An eerie smile that made a shiver run down my spine. "I should kill you for what you've done," I whispered. "I should make you pay." "Oh, but Sebastian, you won't," she said. "You know why? Because at the end of the day I'm still me, and you will never hurt me, will you?" I hated that she was right. I couldn't kill her. My mind told me that it would be the best to do it but my heart told me otherwise. I mentally cursed at myself for letting this happen to her. "Elora, I know you're still in there." I said. She was still on the ground, but she was not resisting which seemed odd. "She died a long time ago," she said finally. "Alongside her love for you." ___ Book Two in the "From Death to Life" Trilogy #13 in Bloodlust

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Angel Of Revenge by withlovendih

At the tender age of twelve, Jessica Muri finds her parents lifeless with territorial blood curdling marks on their necks. After five years of trying to figure out who could've killed them,she discovers it's none other than the cold,bloodsucking creatures,vampires. She knows nothing about them,only that they sucked the life giving fluid out of her parents but cannot miss the presented chance to enter their house as the new maid,her only weapon being her ability to hide her true nature. In this house full of vampires, she manages to fool all vampires, including her greatest enemy, the vampire lord but only one vampire seems to not buy the lie. The human-vampire hybrid,Daniel makes life difficult for Jessica when he frequently threatens to expose her but it seems to be just that,a threat when we discover he also has his own reasons to take revenge on the vampire Lord who also happens to be his uncle. With the mutual motive,they begin to work together but their desire to kill one another grows day by day. She longs to rip the human heart off his chest because he doesn't deserve it.In him,she sees nothing but a bloodsucking demon. Her blood calls for him. In her,he sees only an easy prey that ridiculously thinks it can drive his kind to extinction. But another seed flourishes within their hearts and like opposite poles of a magnet,they find themselves dangerously pulling each other in. As these two worlds collide,will love prevail or will blood thirst,as per usual take the crown?

Loving The Game That We Always Play (Book 2)(✔️COMPLETED) by amandaolson3958

This is the second book in the "Was It For Love Or For Blood" series. The Game was always the same, run so you don't get caught or hide and you always get caught. It was a few years later after the incident at Dimitri's room at the college, nobody had seen or heard from my guardian David Lynstro. My name is Naomi and maybe you have heard of me and maybe you haven't. After David left, I was out of control. I never listened to anyone, not even my boyfriend Dimitri. Matthew still comes around the college for some 'action' now and then but lately he had been distant. He calls every so often but he doesn't visit me in college anymore. Maybe I don't matter anymore. Maybe he had given up. He lives on an island now, away from society. I visit him every summer to see how he has been doing. He was just lost and couldn't find his way but I know it was all a hoax. He actually became depressed or mad when David went rogue with the vampires that turned him. One way or another I'm going to save Matthew from himself and save myself in the process, but I'm not gonna save myself just yet. About 2 years after David and Matthew left or disappeared, I found a guy or shall I say a guy found me when I was out killing and torturing people. His name was Drevin and he soon after turned into something more than a friend. I hated my name Naomi so I let Drevin pick out my new name. My new name was Namzy. I absolutely loved this new name. I had 2 boyfriends now, one was Dimitri and the other was Drevin. Drevin is part of a gang. And I was in there right along with him when he recruited me. If you are wondering what the hell happened to me then fine I'll tell you but I'm pretty sure you won't like it...read my story to find out... Book 1: Was It For Love Or For Blood Book 2: Loving The Game We Always Play

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So I Might Be a Vampire - Book 1 (Original Version)

Bob has got to be the worst vampire in the world. Without a guide to learn how to be a good vampire, he's making it up as he goes along... while holding down a day job. [Previously Featured #2 Vampire ] ***** Everything I'm about to tell you is a lie. Well, except the parts that actually happened, but I'm supposed to let you guess which those are. The parts about me being a vampire, working at a porn shop, and being completely clueless about vampires, those are completely true. Oh, the parts about Claude, my best friend for life, being a gentleman thief? All true. This is NOT a misguided and sordid tell-all about being a modern-day vampire. (wink wink) My vampire club for accidental vampires, Friends of Vlad does not exist. Neither do vampires like the terrifying and beautiful Beatrice. There is no big bad vampire boss named Harry pushing vampires into the 21st Century. Also nope about the vampire club in the heart of Toronto and a big nope on Madame Vera's House of the Not-so-dead. I'm just an ordinary guy who became a vampire. Nothing unusual about that. Nothing at all... [BOOK ONE of CHASING THE SUN SERIES] REVIEWS: @DavidJThirteen Humour has to be one of the toughest genres to get right. This book really pulls it off. Thank you for an enjoyable, entertaining read! @SharylFriend This was awesome beyond mere words!!! Should be a BESTSELLER! @Signed_Sealed_96 This has been by far the best and funniest book I've read. I love this and I can't wait to tell my friends about this b'%&hing vampire story I read nonstop.