So You Used to Be Human - Book 3 (Original Version)
  • Reads 79,358
  • Votes 5,627
  • Parts 52
  • Time 10h 46m
  • Reads 79,358
  • Votes 5,627
  • Parts 52
  • Time 10h 46m
Complete, First published Apr 15, 2014
Mature
CURRENTLY BEING RE-WRITTEN AS PART OF THE "HOW NOT TO VAMPIRE" SERIES)
It's the week from Hell as Bob tries to save his ex-girlfriend Jaime from certain death... by turning her into a vampire.  Needless to say, she doesn't quite agree with this plan and what follows is an epic journey in the making as Bob and Jaime try to track down the one vampire who might know how to turn Jaime back into a human.  Oh yeah, and Bob's sometime-stalker-ex-girlfriend Beatrice is trying to kill them.  

Book 1: SO I MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE
Book 2: SO I'M A VAMPIRE... NOW WHAT?
Book 3: SO YOU USED TO BE HUMAN
Book 4: SO YOU WANT TO KILL A VAMPIRE (now in drafts to return in Fall 2019?)

Wattpad original: SO YOU MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE (799K reads, featured, #2 in Humor)

##########
This was originally Book 2 of the series, but it's now Book 3 since SO I'M A VAMPIRE... NOW WHAT has been created to be Book 2.  We've done a bit of editing and SO YOU MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE is now two books instead of one.  Unfortunately, this means that Book 3 (this one) is finished before Book 2.  So if you;re confused, sorry.

 If you're willing to wait a year and read the new book 2 first as it comes out on Wattled, then kudos to you, but to be honest, this book is awesome, so go ahead and read it now.  Or not. Entirely up to you.
 
Hilarity? Hell yes. Vulgar humour and excessive use of all examples of vulgar language that Bob can think up?  You got it!
All Rights Reserved
Table of contents
Sign up to add So You Used to Be Human - Book 3 (Original Version) to your library and receive updates
or
Content Guidelines
You may also like
So I Might Be a Vampire - Book 1 (Original Version) by iamRodneyVSmith
90 parts Complete Mature
Bob has got to be the worst vampire in the world. Without a guide to learn how to be a good vampire, he's making it up as he goes along... while holding down a day job. [Previously Featured #2 Vampire ] ***** Everything I'm about to tell you is a lie. Well, except the parts that actually happened, but I'm supposed to let you guess which those are. The parts about me being a vampire, working at a porn shop, and being completely clueless about vampires, those are completely true. Oh, the parts about Claude, my best friend for life, being a gentleman thief? All true. This is NOT a misguided and sordid tell-all about being a modern-day vampire. (wink wink) My vampire club for accidental vampires, Friends of Vlad does not exist. Neither do vampires like the terrifying and beautiful Beatrice. There is no big bad vampire boss named Harry pushing vampires into the 21st Century. Also nope about the vampire club in the heart of Toronto and a big nope on Madame Vera's House of the Not-so-dead. I'm just an ordinary guy who became a vampire. Nothing unusual about that. Nothing at all... [BOOK ONE of CHASING THE SUN SERIES] REVIEWS: @DavidJThirteen Humour has to be one of the toughest genres to get right. This book really pulls it off. Thank you for an enjoyable, entertaining read! @SharylFriend This was awesome beyond mere words!!! Should be a BESTSELLER! @Signed_Sealed_96 This has been by far the best and funniest book I've read. I love this and I can't wait to tell my friends about this b'%&hing vampire story I read nonstop.
The Satan's Eve (Completed)✔ NOT EDITED by Sheewrites_4fun
51 parts Complete Mature
HIGHEST RANKING-1st in wedding! {23/05/18} & 1st in Laugh! {11/08/18} 13th in Romance! {03/12/18} Sequel to Mr Hulk's Jelly Bunny->Can be read as a stand alone book. Evelina/Velina Storm is a 22 year old half human-half vampire girl who works as a Manager at a restaurant despite the fact that her family is wealthy. You can say that she is the good type of girl but once you hit a bad nerve then well...goodluck. One thing she always keeps in mind is to never show her weaknesses no matter how the situation is. Adam Vernom is a 28 year old Vampire who is also a Ceo of the Vernom Company Ltd. He is the type of guy who you never want to mess with. Of all the things he hates, there is only one which he despises the most which is mates. Adam does not believe in mates, he thinks that they only exist just to destroy lives. What will happen when these two meet? What will happen when Adam know that Velina is his mate? Will Velina resist his seducing ability? Will Adam hate her? After all she is his mate... -------- He yanked me closer to him till our breaths became one and our tips of our noses touched. My eyes bulged like freaking saucers and were staring at his hot ones. "Satan huh? Then Let me show you how he is like." In one swift movement he crashed his plum lips onto mine. I wanted to push him away but could not. I felt my knees buckled and my stomach churned. There was a strange sensation which was restraining me from pushing him away. He plunged his moist tongue inside my mouth exploring every inch of it. My heart was racing and my breaths were hot. I could not help but move in sync with his pace. It was as if it was a magnet pulling me more and more to him. ------- P.s : Please do not copy or take my ideas as they are purely original and my imaginations. Thank you. ♡Also! If you enjoyed this story don't hesitate to share it with your friends! ;)
Zone Zero (Book 1 of 3) by krystal-44
44 parts Complete Mature
***HIGHEST RANKING IN VAMPIRE*** #3 - 26-9-2018 #4 - 13-8-2018 and 23-09-2018 #5 - 29-8-2018 and 5-9-2018 "What happened?" It's all I can muster at this stage but I figure it's a place to start. "You had a head injury and passed out. I cleaned you up and put you in here to rest." His voice is now calm, much different to what I heard from the other room. "You said you cleaned me up. Did you also change my clothes?" I recall his words and am almost too shocked to ask about his invasion of my privacy. A devilish smile crosses his lips as he coyly looks at his feet. He is enjoying my embarrassment. "You're clothes had blood on them and I wasn't about to put you in a clean bed with dirty clothes on. Trust me; you have nothing I haven't seen before." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Vampires are real and after an eternity of hiding, they have chosen to let the world know of their existence. But when they emerged from the shadows, they were met with hostility and discernment. It wasn't long until they were segregated from humans and forced to live in Vampire Only areas while the rest of the world went on with their lives. Fed up with this malicious arrangement, the vampires waged a war on mankind and came out the victors. Mankind were forced to retreat behind concrete walls designed to keep vampires at bay and this is where they stayed for decades. Evie is a human that has just fallen victim to a trap set by vampires so that she can be used as a source of food or even a plaything for a high bidding vampire. But to her bewilderment, she is taken to Alex. A dangerous and high ranking vampire that enjoys toying with his victims. Knowing how precarious this vampire is, Evie still can't shake the feeling that his striking blue eyes are reminiscent of something but what. But what lengths will she go to find out more about him and every other vampire? I guess it's true what they say. Opposites really do attract.
#LoveScenes (PG13 Jamie Dornan & Dakota Johnson Romance) SAMPLE by AthenaShakespeare
5 parts Complete
***FREE SAMPLE***If looking for a unique no holes' barred contemporary #Damie relationship with #LoveScenes so hot they scorch the page and draw you in, check out this explosive exposé. It unfolds from October 2014 just before the final scenes of Fifty Shades of Grey were filmed. What happens between Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan determine the quality of the movie's final cut. Can the co stars steam up the big screen yet remain true to their real life relationships? You have an exclusive back stage pass to their journey of self discovery against a backdrop of working on the world's most anticipated adult movie. From page one, there's laughter, angst, romance, eroticism, secrets, suspense, twists and turns to the thrillingly dangerous dark side, a relationship in infinite shades of grey. The next sharp intake of breath could be yours. This four chapter extract was adapted to suit a larger audience-PG13. The Mature erotic version of this story has 41 parts. Comments from Wattpad readers of the MATURE version of #LoveScenes: I have read hundreds of different fandoms but never once any of that was this detailed and meticulous. You take real characters and real titbits and spin them in such a way to make a riveting story. It is really impressive... The balance of humor & Jamie's dark side is perfect in this story! Your writing prowess keels me over every time!! Of course, these two chapters were hot as f*ck but the depth to both characters was appreciably depicted. This is THE best Damie story I have read! I like Jamie's bloodlust aspect. Awesome!! This was much hotter than the actual elevator scene! Congrats! What an awesome chapter! Fantastic. You write seamlessly and really captured the essence of their being. Very thorough and descriptive. Very realistic too, surprisingly. That's the one thing I think is hardest about fan fiction. Capturing the essence, the personality, behavior, traits of the characters.
Lykan Girl by jjminay
18 parts Complete
"Can I ask for one selfish thing before you go?" Titan asked me with sadness in his eyes. I held my breath but nodded. "A kiss." He said. "One last kiss and I'll let you go. I promise." A kiss would kill me but I wanted to give him this last request. Titan was always playfully cocky and joked around when we were together but not once was he demanding. I would grant his last wish even if it destroyed me because I loved him that much. ------------------☽ ☾ ------------------ Two Friends. One Road. And an Epic journey. Jayla and Samara have been friends forever and now that spring break has come around, they've decided to knock off a few things from their bucket list before getting back to business and embarking on the journey to adulthood. And what better way to do that than a road trip through Texas? Things take an exciting turn when their car breaks down on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. And a handsome stranger comes to sweep them up and more importantly sweep Jayla off her feet. With some fancy words, they not only find themselves stuck depending on the stranger and his family. But soon find themselves in the middle of a long time war between two supernatural creatures that are only written about in books and movies. Vampires, Werewolves, and Leather Face!? Oh my! This story follows Jayla as she overcomes her fears and finds herself in a whole new world. [Samara's side of the story will be next.] [Also Leather Face isn't really part of the story. It's a joke in the first Chapter.]
You may also like
Slide 1 of 10
So I Might Be a Vampire - Book 1 (Original Version) cover
The Satan's Eve (Completed)✔ NOT EDITED cover
Blood Donor | Dark Romance | MxM [COMPLETED] cover
Zone Zero (Book 1 of 3) cover
TWISTED TWINS ||  Jungkook ff  21+ cover
Are You Sh!tting Me (Modern Cliches, #3) cover
Dalia's delinquent  cover
#LoveScenes (PG13 Jamie Dornan & Dakota Johnson Romance) SAMPLE cover
Lykan Girl cover
Lycan King  cover

So I Might Be a Vampire - Book 1 (Original Version)

90 parts Complete Mature

Bob has got to be the worst vampire in the world. Without a guide to learn how to be a good vampire, he's making it up as he goes along... while holding down a day job. [Previously Featured #2 Vampire ] ***** Everything I'm about to tell you is a lie. Well, except the parts that actually happened, but I'm supposed to let you guess which those are. The parts about me being a vampire, working at a porn shop, and being completely clueless about vampires, those are completely true. Oh, the parts about Claude, my best friend for life, being a gentleman thief? All true. This is NOT a misguided and sordid tell-all about being a modern-day vampire. (wink wink) My vampire club for accidental vampires, Friends of Vlad does not exist. Neither do vampires like the terrifying and beautiful Beatrice. There is no big bad vampire boss named Harry pushing vampires into the 21st Century. Also nope about the vampire club in the heart of Toronto and a big nope on Madame Vera's House of the Not-so-dead. I'm just an ordinary guy who became a vampire. Nothing unusual about that. Nothing at all... [BOOK ONE of CHASING THE SUN SERIES] REVIEWS: @DavidJThirteen Humour has to be one of the toughest genres to get right. This book really pulls it off. Thank you for an enjoyable, entertaining read! @SharylFriend This was awesome beyond mere words!!! Should be a BESTSELLER! @Signed_Sealed_96 This has been by far the best and funniest book I've read. I love this and I can't wait to tell my friends about this b'%&hing vampire story I read nonstop.