Family Fortunes. A black-comedic novella. - Gary Dorking - Wattpad

Family Fortunes. A black-comedic novella.

Reads 219
Votes 19
Parts 17
Time 2h 20m

Reads 219
Votes 19
Parts 17
Time 2h 20m

Mature

black-comedy comedy dark-humour fantasy gore horror monsters science-fiction

Question: Who's going into the woods to find the thing that dragged a polar bear through the bars of its cage, by its head? Answer:  A psychic, armless woman and her equally psychic, frumpy friend; a nutter with a knife, two white witches, a pair of vegetarians, a bogus reporter, three antagonistic youths, and a huge man who can only make raspberry noises... 
They have very different reasons for doing so. 
Death, monsters, arguments, discoveries. It's ugly fun.

A completed novella with all parts available. 
A well thought out horror/ comedy, with mysterious twists and turns and some very odd relationships!
2680 words approx.



The birth of the story:
I was on lake Windemere in a boat, when I saw a big shape on a small island. I have no idea why, but I imagined Beryl, a small frumpy older lady saying, "Derek, what's happened to you?" and the lump saying "Don't look at me, mummy!"
I started writing that evening, in a bar with a view of Windemere.All Rights Reserved

black-comedy comedy dark-humour fantasy gore horror monsters science-fiction

Table of contents

17 parts

Sign up to add Family Fortunes. A black-comedic novella. to your library and receive updates

or

Content Guidelines

You may also like

WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES MIDNIGHT ✓ by dnd_Hades

slight T/W ⚠️ Eliza and her friends encountered a dead body in the woods that appeared to be of someone she knew, the police investigated the scene and autopsy was conducted, the reports indicated to a brutal murder. The group of teenagers, shocked by what they had discovered, started an investigation of their own. Slowly discovering the horrendous past of their town, and the secret of that one specific area of the forest that is off limits to everyone, Realizing that their seemingly "normal" town, might be far more ominous and sinister than they had originally thought. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Please do follow for daily updates!!!

The Path (Male Reader) by Morning_Blankets

There is one rule in the game. And it needs to be broken. There is one goal. And when you attain it, you die. Wolves are hiding in the woods, just waiting for little girls to stray. But young women are not exactly known for their obedience, are they? Will they be able to resist the temptations of the forest? Will they stay clear of danger? Can they prevent the ancient tale from being retold? Can the Woodsman save them?

Áine by inviwright

When Aine is sent into the woods for her crimes, she accepts she'll be met with death. The beasts are known to kill any human that wanders into their territory, their razor-sharp teeth ripping through flesh and bone with practiced ease. Aine knows she'll be no different from all the others who have been executed before her, and when she's forced into the woods by her own people, it doesn't take long for the beasts to attack. What she doesn't expect is for them to take the shape of humans and spare her, and even more, for one to claim her as his own.

Dark mind by Ali_Adair

It was like we were playing a sick game of chess, trying to guess each others movement's and at the same time, worrying about our own. I didn't have a choice and was forced to say "Game on bitch." -------------------------------- Life for Juniper was never easy, even as a child. Her family was complicated, and she herself has always suffered from mental illneses that made her days hard enough as it was, not just for her but for her drug addict skitzophrenic father and bipolar alcoholic mother. As she kept growing up, the world around her became darker and darker until, at the age of sixteen, a man with a dark shadow and distorted, spine chilling voice infiltrated her nightmares, with the promise to bring her agony and pain if she did not do as he said. Now, Juniper is forced to act fast, for her life hangs by a thread. She must uncover the truth of her past, look past the lies of her parents and her own childhood, and fill in the blanks whilst dealing with loud voices in her head, shadows that follow her every move, and a man who she must obey in order to save her sanity, her life and herself. The question still remains, who is this strange man who threatens her very existence? Will she be able to stop him before he kills her, before he traps her in the darkness forever? Will she whistand the torture, will she handle it all? Or will she snap, will she bend and break like her father did, and his father before him? Because, after all, we are all fragile humans, there is only so much we can take. -------------------------------- * Contains swearing, may be triggering and is undergoing mayor editing . * Best Ranking: #1- Skitsofrenia #2- Alluring

Shadows by Angelwolf78

Her voice trembles. "You can stop pretending. It clearly isn't working," Please believe my lies. "I didn't think she would be so quick to catch on." Her mother declares, Staring at Reanna's tangled hair down to her mud cover feet, with a twig poking through one. "Considering her state," "You were wrong, she isn't an easy meal," Liam gave Reanna a smile that reaches his ears. His childish voice shifts into a deep crumbly tone. "She's the feast," ________________________ After dying one Christmas night on the icy roads of her hometown, Reanna Ericka finds herself in the Afterlife. Looking like she just came out of war, she has no memories of how she got the bit marks on her skin or the torn dress on her body. She only remembers her death. She decides to fulfill the promise that she made to her older sister when they were children. To meet each other in the afterlife if something happened to them. Two years earlier, her sister died in a college shooting, leaving Reanna with their abusive parents and younger brother, Liam. In the afterlife, Reanna hears her brother's pleas for help. She runs into a dead forest to save him. Unknowing that the forest is filled with monsters that pretend to be your loved ones just to eat you. Soon after avoiding her second death she learns that she had a life in the afterlife as an angel. She decides to find her memories and reunite with her sister. Travelling to Heaven with a guardian angel, and Death himself. She learns the many rules of survival in the afterlife in her travels. The first rule: Trust No One.

The Grey's Curse by -Mystery_Author-

What would you do if there was a Monster that one day popped up in your life? uninvited and seemed to know exactly where you were at all times? What if it almost ended your life? Would you tell someone and risk being told that you're crazy? Maria asks herself the same questions and she can't help but to wonder, why does it hunt her so? Can she figure out a way to make it disappear? And most importantly Will she survive? _____________________________________________ In this gruesome horror story the events take place in modern day West Virginia which is where you will meet Maria Nichole Grey: a young and lonely fifteen year old girl that is still grieving the death of her father who died in a car accident seven years ago, leaving her with her aloof mother who was almost never home to witness the strange and dangerous happenings that keep Maria in constant danger. Maria wasn't sure why or how the entity haunted her; she never played with a ouija bound and she never chanted Bloody Mary in her bathroom but on this particular day, when she was home alone, a huge terrifying Monster pounced on her from her closet and attacked her in her own room, the Monster itself was a huge, horrifying, sinister entity with startling glowing yellow eyes that seemed to stare into her soul. The Monster seems to only be interested in Maria and targets her specifically, She has no clue as to why it's haunting her, no, hunting her, but she's determined to find out and put a stop to it before it can send the grim reaper her way. (Mature for gore & violence) (Word count around 60,000) (Also this was one of my first stories that I've written, I hope you like it! ♥︎) (Also this is in serious need of a rewrite which I hope to do later in the future ♥︎)

𝘉𝘰𝘳𝘯 𝘛𝘰 𝘙𝘶𝘴𝘵 by Frxstiing

Castle Rock. A formidable laboratory housing monsters, unwilling subjects and other supernatural entities stationed deep beneath the ice of a tundra in an unknown region of a fragmented world. The place of nightmares that very few know of, the place of cruel and inhumane tests conducted on the innocent. Castle Rock at [DATA EXPUNGED], has experienced a site-wide destabilization due to the intense polar storm that currently is decimating the tundra. These storms are known to be dangerous for a plethora of reasons throughout the world. The Facility and all of it's holding cells & security stations deactivated and disabled due to the storm. Releasing everything without supervision. Hence, this phenomenon being called "Destabilization". Now, Monsters and deviants alike set free to roam. Some take matters into their own hands to escape. (Y/N) is a subject within the bowels of the facility, among the few who have the will to survive. Though, with little knowledge of their own past and current situation, (Y/N) finds some friends along the way. All hoping to find an escape. This story is a little gay, just a little. Hope you enjoy reading, give me any and all feedback The story will randomly transition between reader POV and (Y/N) POV at times. It's subtle, so pay attention. [Sometimes scenes will say "We did (something) and other times [You did (something). It's all the same. Just different POVs Melee killing is violent and gory on purpose. None of the art shown belongs to me. Inspired from various video games. Melee Combat directly based on Decaying Winter Slightly inspired by Rogue Lineage. Gender-neutral reader.

The Gory Details (Gross) by Kate_Papilio

Between 2004 and 2008 I wrote a series of "Tips for Writers" for Nocturnal Ooze magazine vaguely about what would happen in real life if you did the things they do in movies but mostly about the gross out. I've always loved them and so have taken them out of mothballs for a new audience here on wattpad. They're all here except for #13 which seems to have vanished. I've also left them mostly intact except for a few very dated references that have been updated. I own the rights to the articles and Queen Mum of the Ooze, Kay Patterson has allowed me to keep the name "Gore Monger" (which she owns) provided I write: The Gore Monger appears courtesy of Nocturnal Ooze. If you enjoy these articles, please consider supporting me on Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/NogginBrain?fan_landing=true

Eyes Of Gold ☾ t.law x reader by evixtus

"I got told to avoid them. To stay in the woods. It was the safest there. I didn't listen; I was young and stupid." His irises dilated again, this time to slits. "When you saw me, you didn't run or scream. You almost touched me, but then that motherfucker shot me, and I bit you." He grabbed your scarred hand, holding it close to your face. "I did that. Me." [ Completed 07/29/21 ]

The Hidden World book 1 by Hunter345408

In a world hidden from humans, where mythical creatures come to life and live in harmony with mythical plants, there are two brothers.A brother of creation and a brother of death and destruction. The brother of destruction got jealous of his brother, and soon created chaos everywhere he went. The brother of creation has no other choice but to send his child away, to hide it from their evil uncle's grasp. Hunter never knew what or why he was here in this world. Many challenges that are hard to overcome are always thrown at him. He has no idea about the terror and destruction happening in another world, his parent's world. The school he, his daughter, and his new friends are going to, has been invaded by a dark dog made of shadows. He didn't know this was his calling until a man named Lucas came to take him away. His friends argue saying they should go too. The strange man has to agree. When still in the human world, Hunter is shot with a poisonous arrow that has been banned for centuries. But there is only one person that can save him. But would they get there in time? Would he make it to the healer? Would his uncle take over before he can heal? If he makes it?

You may also like

Slide 1 of 10

WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES MIDNIGHT ✓ cover

The Path (Male Reader) cover

Dark mind cover

The Grey's Curse cover

𝘉𝘰𝘳𝘯 𝘛𝘰 𝘙𝘶𝘴𝘵 cover

The Gory Details (Gross) cover

Eyes Of Gold ☾ t.law x reader cover

The Hidden World book 1 cover

WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES MIDNIGHT ✓

slight T/W ⚠️ Eliza and her friends encountered a dead body in the woods that appeared to be of someone she knew, the police investigated the scene and autopsy was conducted, the reports indicated to a brutal murder. The group of teenagers, shocked by what they had discovered, started an investigation of their own. Slowly discovering the horrendous past of their town, and the secret of that one specific area of the forest that is off limits to everyone, Realizing that their seemingly "normal" town, might be far more ominous and sinister than they had originally thought. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Please do follow for daily updates!!!