Journey of a coward girl to brave girl!!

I was a coward girl when i was with my father. Most of the time i was afraid of darkness then i went to my fathers room and simply lie down with my fathers bed and now that time i feel a powerful girl. But early morning when my father was awake for prayer he just took me up with alot of affection and cover me with a blanket. A 3.5 year ago, when i lost my father i felt like i lost a precious DIAMOND(which is/was and will be very valuable for me everytime) but as time proceeds, i became a brave girl who is not afraid of darkness more, who absorbs her tears when she listen the name father in front of her mom, who patiently smile when she saw her little niece who is calling her father( my brother) BABA, where are you? that time i feel like i am losing myself, but i remember my father said i am with you all the time and you are my brave girl.
My father gave me the greatest gift , he believed in me,thats why i feel proud. DAD, you taught me to be a strong girl but sorry i am letting you down. I can never be strong enough to accept that you are no long here. Sometimes i still just can't believe you are gone.