how am i? (2)
- Reads 279
- Votes 4
- Parts 11
Ongoing20m
Last published Wed, Jan 16, 2019
This is book 2 of one of my past books How Am I? Some of the stuff referenced in this book may be related to the last book, so I would recommend reading that before starting this just so you understand what i'm referencing.
Sometimes I feel trapped. Like I can't tell people how I truly feel because they won't understand. This book is more for me than it is anyone else. I hope you get enjoyment out of it, but honestly, it's an outlet for me to express myself. I'm done keeping my emotions trapped inside myself. I'm truly done with that. If you want to read my emotions and my day to day life, go ahead. If your easily offended by my opinions I would suggest not reading this, because it's practically made for my opinions to be shared. If you hate me, read at your own risk, because this is me being my true self. Some things might not be good to read for those who are struggling with mental illnesses because I do describe my own experience with mental illness and describe horrible thoughts, so it might trigger you. If you ever need someone to talk to just dm me. Thanks for reading <3
All Rights Reserved
#734
anonymous
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Trash Book of Extra.
Warning: I am a weirdo. This will contain some thoughts of mine, some poems, some deep shit, some thoughts I have as I go through the journey of self-exploration, lmao. Some chapters may be seen as too controversial but whatever you know. I mean, reading this is your choice. You don't have to. I mean, I'd like you all to read every chapter but it's not a story book so you may skip some chapters you don't like and read the ones that you do like. P.S. I do not deny that my thoughts are somewhat influenced by my environment and experiences. Also, this is the real me. Some people think I'm quiet and cold-hearted but on the inside I'm actually a big softie with feelings. To be honest, it's kinda my fault since I hate revealing my emotions to other people or even asking for help until I have to. And even then, I start hating myself for being such a weakling. That is a major character flaw of mine that I must overcome!Complete
Altered
Have you ever met someone who alters the course of your life? For good or for bad, they've come in, given and taken, and then- BOOM! Your life was never the same. There's always a change, an altering of reality. When you meet those people, the reality that you've known your whole life is suddenly gone and a new one has taken its place. When those moments happen, there's no going back. You can try to return to the way things were but nothing, and I mean nothing, can take you back to exactly how it was. That's what happened to us. I think that's why we're still trying so desperately to get back to some sort of normalcy. Four years later and we're still on the ground, crawling, in search of the happiness that was lost that June. Summers will never be the same. Midnight walks through my neighborhood will never be the same. Field parties with bonfires and loud music will never be the same. I still don't know why you left and what lead you to the decision you made. What I do know is that we're here. We're alive and we're pushing forward to the future. A future that you're not a part of. But in some ways, I'm glad you're not a part of it. I just wish it wasn't like this. *** TRIGGER WARNING*** SA, abuse, suicide, substance abuse, and mental illness. This is a complete story that is much like life; fast, full of surprises, and not always how we want it to be. This has been a project of mine for over three years. It was self-published on Amazon, but after some issues in publication, I decided to just upload it on here. I hope you fall in love with these characters like I have. The friends in this story are trying to make names for themselves, figure out who they are, who they can trust, how to love, and how to separate themselves from a restrictive community. As in any coming of age story, they will experience growing pains... but will they survive them before its too late? PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS.Complete
Poems
DO NOT PUT LINKS IN THE COMMENTS!!!!!Just so it is clear this is the only book i have actually put any effort into putting together.So it may not be the best,but i tried.The poems included in here are a way for me to vent about things.They are a way to express what i feel.I haven't really shared any of these with people that i know. Some of these are what i really think and/or feel,some are just what comes to mind.Some of these poems are inspired by things around me. But if you ever use one please make sure to crEdit me(you could put a link to this book).Feel free to comment.Feel free to message me if you have questions,comments,and/or a line you want used(i wil make sure to credit gave the line).Complete
The Invisible Eccdentesiast
Nyx Davis is a 15-year-old biracial, student-athlete, exploring life with her friends, Matteo, Viv, Kaylee, and Chris. Along with her brothers Denzel and Theodore. She begins her journey of self-discovery with her sexuality, identity, love life and mental wellbeing. High school isn't as romantic as movies play it out to be, but Nyx finds herself falling in love with people she'd never imagine. She maneuvers around the world within a community and school that has little to no diversity, along with stereotypes and racist ideology that seems to be at her every turn. On top of it all, her friend group seems to drift away from each other causing her to spiral with her thoughts because when it comes to those around you there are times where you think you really know someone but that's not always the case. New friendships arise and so does romance. Tension with her academics becomes more overwhelming than what she expected. Life is taking many turns, not just with her own life but with those around her as well. Read as everyone explores their own life secrets that they have kept in the dark from those around them. PS; This is an original novel coming from myself so I ask you not to publish chapters and take them as your own, legal actions will be taken if necessary. 7/26/2021~ The book cover is temporary as of right now. I will make an announcement for when the official book cover is out. Temporary cover is by RachelsArtCabin on Etsy. Started: March 2021-
Why We Laugh (#Wattys2018)
"The laugh cracked loudly into the school's atrium, like a shot of a gun. A quick bullet. A deadly bullet the pierces through flesh and bone. I realized then... that a laugh was as lethal as a bullet." I thought bullying didn't exist. And if it did, I wasn't a bully. Except I was. We all were. Not because we beat kids up. Or we called people freaks. Or gave them swirlies. Because we never did that. It was because we laughed." For these three kids, a playful laugh cuts deeper than a fist ever would. And the worst part is...they laugh along. 1.Eliza hides behind the brightest smile and stuttered words. 2.Reece desires the perfect body and will destroy himself to do it. 3.Hunter is the bad boy with sick suicidal jokes, screwing both Prozac and girls. But it is more than just those three: 4.London sits in her wheelchair trying to be normal 5. Ashton needs to return to the surface of people and stop cowering in the digital world 6. Griffith hides his autistic emotions. The story is told by a girl who always laughs. Drama, love, pain, tears, laughter, depression, weaknesses. We all laugh. But what does our laugh truly effect? "Hands down this is the best book I've read on wattpad. I don't even know what to say. I mean... I just.... Wow." -Irxdeo This book deals with heavy topics such as depression, suicide, eating disorders, abuse, so read carefully. I want to say some of these characters and scenes in the beginning are based on real people and real events, but some are not. Hi, guys! Thanks for checking this story out. Remember be brave and kind.Complete
Discovery Of Peace : A battle for humanity, love and life.
The story is about the life of boy, who borned in Iran and during Civil war some terrorist kidnap him, and send him to school for study and training, during his training he learned technology and and other expects of life. but every time he wished to returned his home. he was told his family was killed during war. but he disn't loss hope. when again Attackers started capturing the Syria. he was ordered to fight with armies. he attacked on many special moment for what he was trained. During a base attack he was injured badly, so he was admitted in a hospital, he remained in unconsciousness for a long period when he woke up, he found a nurse there and fell in love with her. that day he was discharged he went to the girl and purposed. she denied and sadly he returned to work. once he was gave order to kill a social worker who was stopping people to support the violence. he went to kill him, he killed him but whatever that person spoke to him. he broke him from inside and somewhere he started hating himself. once again, he went to meet her and seat in waiting room of hospital. he remembered the words of social worker and he lost self control and cut his wrist. when he woke up it was night, he was on bed of hospital and the girl was sleeping chair. Both of them fell in love with each others. and he tried to left all and read moreComplete
Tired of Lies
*(COMPLETED) "The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you weren't worth the truth." He bit his lip. "I wanted to te-" His eyes began to water and as a single tear fell he looked at me and said "but what if you've been lying for so long you don't know how to tell the truth?" "I have and so will you." He shook his head, shut his eyes, and leaned his forehead against the glass. "And here I was thinking you would admit that you don't tell the truth either." I gripped the telephone as my knuckles turned white. "What do you mean?" "Come on Zoey I've seen you sneaking around acting like you're busy. You're hiding something and you won't tell me." All Zoey Campbell ever wanted to do was keep her head down and get through high school. Too bad it isn't that easy. Zoey is tired of everything and everyone. She is tired of being pushed around and tired of watching in the shadows. She is tired of pretending to like that girl that doesn't even know her name. Tired of pretending that she is ok when she isn't. She is constantly hoping for a better way out thinking she should just disappear. All she wants to do is scream but no matter how loud she screams no one can hear her. Don't worry things just get worse. Everyone thinks she's a "sick" girl and just another suicide case waiting to happen. I mean what kind of girl sits by herself everyday right? Zoey is running out of time and she thinks no one has tried to help her until her "special" speech in class. No one really cares about what she really thinks anyway. It just that feeling of pity. Everyone thinks she really is sick but she knows she's not. But what if she is? Maybe all it takes is that one thing to make her snap. As her life gets thrown into chaos and deep dark secrets she can't help but try to figure out the truth. Will she find a way to let her new friends save her or will she just end up as another suicide case? *Disclaimer wrote this in 2017 when I was 14.Complete
Unhealthy Obsession |18+|
-Let's get this straight. From a dead end job to a useless crazy ex boyfriend- my happiness is with my best friend yet the fear of our relationship ending completely scares me and id rather fake it and be in fear than find out and never be happy. It sucks, seeing him everyday and knowing what i feel for him and how deep those feelings go is painful...- But when he comes around everything changes for the best and for the worst. As a whole they are deeply loved and equally as hated by others but the love from one another is undeniable, if only she wasnt so selfish with her choices and words- -Lying, cheating, sneaking, crying- many acts and emotions come from within when there's someone you love unaware of that love.. Possibly growing to love someone else right before your eyes..Its gut wrenching, i know because ive fucked up. Its worse when you're aware of the harm you cause yourself and others but dont care how the outcome turns out to be. Why would it matter how it effects you if youre used to pain and people leaving? it wouldnt. All because you take comfort in your own mind and mental illness, once you realize you have freewill it may become a bad thing if youre careless.- - Gabriella White.Complete
Warning: I am a weirdo. This will contain some thoughts of mine, some poems, some deep shit, some thoughts I have as I go through the journey of self-exploration, lmao. Some chapters may be seen as too controversial but whatever you know. I mean, reading this is your choice. You don't have to. I mean, I'd like you all to read every chapter but it's not a story book so you may skip some chapters you don't like and read the ones that you do like. P.S. I do not deny that my thoughts are somewhat influenced by my environment and experiences. Also, this is the real me. Some people think I'm quiet and cold-hearted but on the inside I'm actually a big softie with feelings. To be honest, it's kinda my fault since I hate revealing my emotions to other people or even asking for help until I have to. And even then, I start hating myself for being such a weakling. That is a major character flaw of mine that I must overcome!
More detailsContent Guidelines