Dirty Love

Dirty Love

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Wed, May 28, 2014
Boys are just toys and I am born to play with them... Niloko ako. Niloko ko din. Pinaglaruan ako. Pinaglaruan ko din. Di ako minahal. Di ko din minahal. Iniyakan ako. Hindi ako umiyak. That's my life. Walang commitment sa buhay. Ayaw ko kasing matulad sa ibang babae na lalandi landi pero sa huli, iiyak iyak. Bakit? Kasi iniwan sila ng lalake, kasi niloko sila, kasi nagbigay ng promise, di naman tinupad. Kaya naman, to make stories different Ako yung magpapaiyak. Ako yung maglalaro. Ako yung manloloko. Ako yung magpapaasa. Ako yung hindi magseseryoso  ng relasyon. Kukunin ko lang yung gusto then break-up. Oh diba? Walang mawawala sa'kin, at lalong hindi ako yung iiyak. Bitter na ko kung bitter. Pero I'm just paying back the favor. Sa lahat ng nabasa kong story, babae lagi ang sawi sa story. Masama bang hindi tumulad sa mga story na yun? Hindi naman diba? Kaya nga, I will represent a new version of women na marunong lumaban, na hindi basta iiyak sa isang lalaki, na hindi magmamahal. And last thing; LOVE is not in my vocabulary.
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"Just let me see our son and I'll leave..." pagmamakaawa niya sa akin. "No! Wala kang karapatan so leave! Not just here, pati sa buhay ko!" Sigaw kong muli. "Bella, I beg you, I want to see our son..." "Anak mo mukha mo! Wala kang anak! Magmula nang iwan mo ako, kami, wala ka nang anak at wala ka nang Bella!" Marahas kong hinila ang mga kamay ko sakaniya. I saw his tears drop and I don't care! I'm pregnant and my parents kicked us out of our house the moment they knew that I have a kid in my stomach. I don't know what to do! I'm just a kid and helpless! I don't have my own job yet because I still go to school! Napabalikwas ako ng tayo dahil sa bangungot na 'yon. Ako? Mabubuntis? I don't even know that man I was pushing away on that dream because of his blurry face. "Bangungot lang 'yon Bella..." I tried to calm myself. Bumalik ako sa tulog dahil madaling araw pa naman. I have to review my lessong because next week is our examination week. And this week came, it's stressing me out so bad. Ni hindi ko na mapagtuunan ng pansin ang crush ko dahil sa pagrereview. Sobrang stress namin ni Pierre sa exams at talagang kulang kami lagi sa tulog. And thank God for keeping us alive hanggang sa matapos ang exams namin. All we have to do is to eait for the results which is next week also. Buti na lang hindi ako inaantala ng masamamg panaginip ko noong exams ko. Who was that? And how?

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