Yours Truly (Swasan)

The moment I was born as a girl in this world, my fate had ripped me into pieces for others to chose it for me. My childhood till my marriage I was in guidance of my father. My father loved me....but if it would have ever come to his honor, he would have happily killed me with the same hands he picked me up for the first time and silence my voice which called him Baba. But that's alright....honor is more important...right.

The second piece of my life was tied to my husband. I was told, if your husband loves you and takes care of you, for a girl that is enough. But do I love my husband...does that even matter? Maybe in time I may fall in love, if love was even real to begin with...but will he give me the time to understand me, or like a man claim his right on me. Does it even matter if I don't want to give myself to him...or does he have the right to take everything because he owns me now. He has married me and has become my owner. He has the right to love me....or to hurt me... Just because I am a girl...

Then there was my heart who fell in love with my childhood friend. I never thought my own heart would betray me...I knew I never had my own choice, yet I fell in love with a boy who was a sudra....for he is the only one in my world who showed me respect above all else. It terms of status he was below me...but in terms of giving he was above me...he was never mine but fate had ripped a piece of me and tied it to him...

For now here I lie between life and death...finally my fate had shown me some love, for maybe it is time for death to take its final piece, and set me free. But I feel the pull from someone still tied to me.

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Sometimes some relationships mean more to us than those with a name. However, when society asks you what is the relationship you have with this person, that's when we question our hearts, if all relationships need a name. Even those that are tied by the heart.