Alone and Lonely

*This book includes potentially triggering content such as strong language, self-harm, mental illness, rape, sexual content and abuse.*
This book is/was dedicated to an ex friend of mine. We had a falling out and unfortunately just floated in opposite directions. I still support her and understand that she was fighting powerful demons. More powerful than I have ever witnessed. Unfortunately these demons grow more powerful every day. Maybe she'll read this, maybe she won't. But if she does I hope she knows that I tried my best in supporting and comforting her. I had to choose her mental health or mine and for the first time I chose mine...
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Schizophrenia: Delusions, hallucinations, disorganized speech, trouble with thinking and lack of motivation.
Anxiety: A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
Depression: Feelings of severe despondency and dejection.
Psychosis: Disturbed thoughts and perceptions, difficulty understanding what is real and what is not.
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Who am I? I don't even really know... the real question is what have I done?
What have I done to deserve this hell on Earth? Where is my happily ever after? All of the stories say the girl finds a prince that saves her from her own mind and they run away from her abusive family and depressive situation. So tell me, where is my prince?
I have been nothing but grateful. I am a good student, a good daughter, a good friend, a good person. Who makes the decisions about who gets the shitty situation. Because I seriously think they fucked up.