Mountain Dew and Doritos: An Epic MLG Tale - Hostile - Wattpad

Mountain Dew and Doritos: An Epic MLG Tale

HostileIntentions

Reads 369
Votes 7
Parts 15
Time 2h 11m

Reads 369
Votes 7
Parts 15
Time 2h 11m

HostileIntentions

Mature

360noscope 420blazeit gaben legit memes mlg parody random wtf

Mountain Dew Quickscope is a totally average and normal seventeen year-old gamer who likes games and weed and other stuff. Plus, he has exceptional skill in quickscoping, noscoping, dragscoping, and trickshotting. His best friend is a hyperactive thirteen year-old adolescent named Daniel Doritos Blazeit who is a trash talking gamer who claims to be an MLG player and says he slept with your mom every day. Together, they go on crazy adventures on the world of Badassia.

One day, they were approached by some old guy who revealed that they are two legendary heroes foretold to take down an ancient hacker who threatened all of gaming in an ancient prophecy written by Lord Gaben himself. With this, their lives are changed forever as they set off on an adventure of a lifetime.

A remastered version of the original I decided to rewrite after procrastinating and suffering from writers block/depression for a while (read: more than a year).

Probably the highest quality shitposting you'll ever read.

WARNING: DO NOT READ IF EASILY OFFENDED BY BLACK HUMOUR, EXCESSIVE SWEARING, SOME SEXUAL SCENES, EXTENSIVE GRAPHIC DETAIL, AND DRUG USE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. THIS IS A WORK OF PARODY. NOTHING SHOULD BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

Cover design by me.All Rights Reserved

360noscope 420blazeit gaben legit memes mlg parody random wtf

Table of contents

15 parts

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Slide 1 of 10

My Girlfriend is a Secret Agent cover

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"Dumb and Stupid" cover

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My Girlfriend is a Secret Agent

I'm Kleyton Cartson, 20 years old, known as the genius, gorgeous, billionaire, and playboy philanthropist. I'm the only son of Jack Cartson, the most famous weapon scientist inventor in the whole world. I'm following my father's legacy and currently I'm the CEO of our company. Investors, scientists and business men were begging for my attention. People love me and women praise me. I'm living the world of every man's desire and dream. My life is all about weapons, parties everywhere, women and loads and loads of fun. One day my world turned upside down, it all began when I met a certain woman who took my sanity and shook my world. She's too gorgeous, sexy as hell, undeniably cute and she's my angel. Upon entering my world, she brought reality to me, I discovered I was surrounded by greedy people who wants me and my family dead, terrorists who wants nothing but our devastation, my own blood who wants me and my family's corpse. But what shook me off is when I discovered that my girlfriend is a secret agent, her mission is to ensure my safety and survival, what's worst is she hates her mission and she hates me for being the son of my father, she was all along pretending to like me for the sake of her mission. My life turned into bullets and bombs, danger everywhere, a girlfriend who hates me and loads and loads of fighting. How the hell did my world turned into this?