Journey to happiness.

Journey to happiness.

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Mon, Jul 23, 2012
“I am very sorry to inform you that your daughter won’t be able to walk again.” Those were the words my doctor chose to inform my parents that their only daughter was paralyzed. “He’s gone.” Those were the ones my mom chose, to inform me that my boyfriend is no more alive. “Honey, at least you’re still alive.” And these were others someone said to try and console me. I am no more the Amber they all knew and maybe loved. I used to be a happy teenager and I loved the life I had. But now, I lost everything I cared the most about. How is that not death, again? What words are going to give me my life back? None. That's what I thought, until I met him.
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He had rules for a reason, or thats what he said. I did something wrong I got punished. I spoke out of turn, I got punished. I looked at him or ate without permission, I got punished. Haven thats what they named me funny isn't it? Ironic really. They named me Haven because my mom would say I was her 'Safe Haven'. What a pile of shit that was. She left willingly, she didn't depart because of some tragic accident. My father didn't kill her. She left because she was a coward who didn't want kids. As soon as my older brother went to college she left. I knew she hated me. I was the product of her love with another man. A constant reminder that her life didn't work out the way it was planned. He who ever he was is a phantom in its own. A deep rooted fantasy never going to come true. My brother left, my mother left, my grandma ignored, and my father broke. They let me give up hope on escaping and then decided to play hero. But I haven't forgotten everything I went through. Guilt consumes my brother but I don't care, you don't get to leave and then buy a reprieve of trying to save someone who has been dead for years. Besides lets just be honest I reached my breaking point long ago.

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