Dear Grandpa......
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Today I was singing as I normally do on the weekends, and I became overcome by all this emotion, mainly sadness, right after singing "I Miss You" by Miley Cyrus. Immediately I started thinking about my grandpa.
He died when my mom was 22 (I think) which is 6 years before I was born, so I never knew him, and he never knew he was going to have a granddaughter soon. He died from a heart attack, which was sudden.
This is a poem I wrote today, I think after I got done singing or after I wrote it he came down from Heaven and has stayed by my side the rest of the day. I keep having bouts of instant sadness, overcome by it in fact, randomly crying, I can't look at his picture right now without breaking down. I have never had this happen to me in the 18 years I have been living.
I know he watches over me and keeps me safe, even if he was never ever able to hold me as a newborn, attend my concerts, come attend the family Christmas dinner, laugh with me, or spend time with me.
It's just hard but I will live knowing he is here, watching over me =)
(CC) Attrib. NonComm. NoDerivs
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I don't know what to feel towards him. My brain -my heart- gives me mixed feelings about him: every time our eyes lock, I feel warm inside. Every time we talk, I feel myself drown into feelings; nervousness, shyness. I'm not sure. And every time he casually walk into my mind, my stomach squeezes lightly with butterflies which I cannot justify. Yet, he makes me cry myself to sleep, he makes me overthink myself to sleep. Not that he said or did anything, it's the confusion that makes me ache. Sometimes even the butterflies and sparks hurt me, the thought of him tightens my chest with ache, as confusion crawls my skin. We're friends, but he shows mixed signals that confuses me. That's just one side of the story. The other side is suffering too, he's been in love with Evelyn ever since he laid eyes on her, but she just saw Zachary as a friend. And it gnaws at him that she never notices his eyes. But not fate, neither destiny will bring them together. Coincidence does...
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