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Dear Grandpa......

Dear Grandpa......

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WpMetadataReadAbgeschlossene Geschichte So., Juni 17, 2012<5 mins
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Today I was singing as I normally do on the weekends, and I became overcome by all this emotion, mainly sadness, right after singing "I Miss You" by Miley Cyrus. Immediately I started thinking about my grandpa. He died when my mom was 22 (I think) which is 6 years before I was born, so I never knew him, and he never knew he was going to have a granddaughter soon. He died from a heart attack, which was sudden. This is a poem I wrote today, I think after I got done singing or after I wrote it he came down from Heaven and has stayed by my side the rest of the day. I keep having bouts of instant sadness, overcome by it in fact, randomly crying, I can't look at his picture right now without breaking down. I have never had this happen to me in the 18 years I have been living. I know he watches over me and keeps me safe, even if he was never ever able to hold me as a newborn, attend my concerts, come attend the family Christmas dinner, laugh with me, or spend time with me. It's just hard but I will live knowing he is here, watching over me =)
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Warning: I am a weirdo. This will contain some thoughts of mine, some poems, some deep shit, some thoughts I have as I go through the journey of self-exploration, lmao. Some chapters may be seen as too controversial but whatever you know. I mean, reading this is your choice. You don't have to. I mean, I'd like you all to read every chapter but it's not a story book so you may skip some chapters you don't like and read the ones that you do like. P.S. I do not deny that my thoughts are somewhat influenced by my environment and experiences. Also, this is the real me. Some people think I'm quiet and cold-hearted but on the inside I'm actually a big softie with feelings. To be honest, it's kinda my fault since I hate revealing my emotions to other people or even asking for help until I have to. And even then, I start hating myself for being such a weakling. That is a major character flaw of mine that I must overcome!

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