I Have Died Before

I Have Died Before

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[Trigger Warning: Self harm, anxiety, depression, and rather strong language at times] ---Jackie has depression. It's been a key factor in his life for as long as he can remember, and no one seems to understand. Not his brother Jamie, not his parents, not even his brother's wife Penelope. Jackie only has himself, and that's how it's always been. But one day, Jamie and Penelope drag Jackie to a park across town and Jackie meets Nico, a young man with severe anxiety who has also found that no one seems to understand him either. Soon, Jackie and Nico learn to understand each other and they become friends, and possible lovers.---
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For every question WHY You were my BECAUSE Anxiety. Depression. Panic Attacks. A small touch of Haphephobia. After years of abuse and sadness, Charlotte finally puts her past behind her and starts over. She finds a new job, a new group of friends, and Axel; life can't get any better. She can finally breathe. She starts to experience happiness and love, but her past keeps coming back to haunt her, showing up at the worst moments and taking her happiness away. She's thrown back into it face first; the drugs, the gangs, the ex that she promised wouldn't lay a hand on her again... Her new life mixes with her old and her secrets are revealed, promises are broken, and everything becomes too much. ------- "I can't just shut it off." I speak softly, wanting Axel to understand that this is who I am. This is the real Charlotte. "I know. You just...you don't have to be alone anymore, Char." My eyes focus on our entwined fingers as my heart beats wildly in my chest, his words repeating in my head. I stare, feeling the weight of his words sink in slowly. Being alone is all I've ever known. "Let me prove it to you." His words sound like a promise, and I gulp, my eyes finally finding his. I find myself wanting to believe him. Wanting to trust him. So I do. "Okay." ------- #2 in Anxious - 1.2025 #1 in Sober - 2.2026

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