real entries of a real mess

i've been writing entries since late 2016 to help me cope with my overwhelming emotions and just give me someone to talk to when i needed to vent. these are all of my past entries, and i hope to keep writing. these are completely unedited and the direct reflections of my unexplained meltdowns and experiences. i just need to not be the only one to ever read them and who has heard me. they start off really messy and without a direct purpose, but i learn to get my shit together sooner or later.