Hardships

Trigger warning; The following contents are NOT suited for all readers!

My attempts at fighting them were futile. Comparable to a boulder trying to float. My goal was impossible.

Nothing I did was substantial enough to save me. Five against one, that speaks for itself. I knew what I got myself into, and I knew my odds. Currently, I'm sat on the floor. My arms tied in a knot behind my back, and my jaw tense. I refuse to look at dad, I can't. If I do I'll lose my mind, and if I want to survive this I need to be sane. It would slowly tear me apart, like peeling a onion. Layer by layer I'll fall away as they predicted, I'm nothing but a ghost of who I was.

I kept my head low, thinking of mom. She's probably on the highway right now. About 30 minutes away. When she said she loved me, it must've been out of duty. She can't love the person who killed the love of her life, yet she can't bring herself to show her daughter such cruelty. In the end, she can't love a murderer. She has to hate me.

I lift my head slowly. Seeing him in the doorway, I pay him no mind. He just watches me as I'm lost into thought again.

A bed of tasks, pillows of fear, and a weighted blanket of sorrow. Surrounded by walls of panic, and chained in by locks of pain.

This chaotic mess, the perfect prison, decorated with her biggest mistakes. Art of her hardships is etched into the walls, only somber light may enter. Anything else is never processed, the invisible mass completely ignored no matter how big it grows.

Naked steps of sorrow, pad across the floor. Numb, and nimble fingers pull at the stiff, blackout blinds.

Like every surface she touches in this room, it burns her pure skin like a blue flamed fire.

Delicate, and fragile.

This room of distress hardens her skin. Packs on scars like armor, or rather glue. To hold her broken pieces together, to keep her stiff like the blinds, and lost like the light.

Soon her prison of chaos turns into an escape, we cling to what's familiar.