My Latest ED Ward Experience

My Latest ED Ward Experience

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WpMetadataReadMatureOngoing24m
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Thu, Jul 12, 2018
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Non-Fiction
*This is your trigger warning, if you are upset or triggered by weight, calories, purging, restricting behaviours, hospital environments, etc, be careful while reading this. I will not be including pictures of myself or anyone here with me and will answer any questions you may have. If I deem an entry to be particularly upsetting then I will add a TW at the beginning* I'm currently in a secure ED ward and need somewhere to write everything down. I also want to show people the reality of eating disorders and where you'll end up if you don't get help or refuse help. If you are developing or are currently experiencing an eating disorder or disordered eating/behaviours please seek help, you don't want this. You will not feel valid, you will realise that you have a sad existence and that you are dying.
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"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.

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