My Latest ED Ward Experience
- Lecturas 183
- Votos 6
- Partes 7
*This is your trigger warning, if you are upset or triggered by weight, calories, purging, restricting behaviours, hospital environments, etc, be careful while reading this. I will not be including pictures of myself or anyone here with me and will answer any questions you may have. If I deem an entry to be particularly upsetting then I will add a TW at the beginning*
I'm currently in a secure ED ward and need somewhere to write everything down. I also want to show people the reality of eating disorders and where you'll end up if you don't get help or refuse help.
If you are developing or are currently experiencing an eating disorder or disordered eating/behaviours please seek help, you don't want this. You will not feel valid, you will realise that you have a sad existence and that you are dying.
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𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀
Rita becomes strict with her eating, everyday the number of calories she eats gets lower and the amount of time she does cardio gets higher. She practices of managing her starvation by distracting it and never catches a break on the scale. Nobody is aware of it, it was something Rita doesn't want her friends or family to know, hiding her body from them didn't last long. Her mother noticed the dramatic weight change on her body. She tries to help her get back to her eating and tells her many times that she's "perfectly skinny" but nothing works. Her mother puts her foot down as Rita started to get ill, her mom takes her to a mental health hospital. She deals with consequences from her nurses and other patients.Concluida
Pieces of Me.
Hi there, how are you? I hope you're okay. Like the title says, this book is made of pieces of me, sort of like a diary. Each chapter has its topic, message and feeling. I write it as my life goes on, pouring my heart out, mentioning a lot of the past and situations I haven't overcome, voicing my struggles, wins and losses, lessons and pain. I hope this helps you somehow, I mean, if I'm gonna be posting my life anonymously on the internet I can try at least to help someone. Never forget, you are not alone. This is for you. Good luck :) *trigger warning*- please if you get triggered easily or are going through a hard situation don't read this book, specially the chapters: Puppy thoughts. The Need. -Sequel: Head High (on my profile)Concluida
The psych ward
"Hey guys look a new girl is coming in." says gabby one of the girls in the psych ward she will be leaving tomorrow and everyone knows that today is her last day. Down the hall a small frail pale girl is being wheeled into the ER in the Ward while they try to cut off her clothes. "She's not breathing!" Gabby hears a nurse yell and gabby shakes her head and goes to the group of girls and guys by the tablesConcluida
It was under control
Jules Hart returns to the psychiatric ward, her life has fallen apart once again. She had it under control. Or was it all just her imagination? She encounters trials and tribulations with her eating disorder recovery, being forced into situations like no other; ending in painful repercussions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. After deciding she no longer wants help, Jules escapes the psychiatric ward; resulting in her attempting to take her own life. The consequence of her actions, broke Tom's heart in the process, all the while he held her sick body. Her life has led her down the path of having to recover from not only the torturous eating disorder, but the addictive self harm and torment of the suicidal ideation. Let's just hope Jules gets her happy ending... ~ "GET OFF ME! GET THE HELL OFF ME! I DON'T LIKE BEING TOUCHED! GET THE FUCK OFF ME. TOM PLEASE HELP ME. TOM! PLEASE GET THEM OFF ME. I'M SO SCARED!" Jules's fragile body was making a forceful connection with the cold and unsympathetic ground. Her bloodline exiting and tainting her body and all of the surroundings. Her painful and emotional screams echoed the white corridor, while Jules's body shook and shivered, and dizzy spells with blurry covered eyes; forced her body and mind to experience a feeling of disconnection. The fit of fear that swirled in the pit of Jules's stomach made her head jolt violently side to side, along with front and back; causing her forehead to strike the floor. ~TW: Eating disorder, suicide and self harm mentioned throughout~Concluida
Elizabeth
Some things are never meant to happen the way that they happen. Some things are not supposed to break the way they break, but we are not in charge of this earth. We cannot oversee how things are fixed and how they break. We are only capable of putting the pieces back together...mending broken hearts and healing empty souls. Why him? They ask her constantly. Why the heartless man to comfort the hurting soul? Because, she always responds, even after countless mood swings, crazy demands, constant reassurance, and stupid arguments, he never gave up on her. Why her? They would ask her every time. He'd respond the same. Because I don't want to court her in bed. I want to love her in life. Polar opposites attract. Elizabeth and Romeo attract. They just want to love each other in life through the pain, the agony, the abuse, the depression, the anxiety, the mafia, the breaking, the fixing, the helping, the hurting. It's just love at the end of the day.Concluida
Live, Laugh & Heal (DISCONTINUED)
the unedited, discontinued shit i wanted to complete and show you all as my first finished novel. but, alas. contains LOTS of triggering shits, so please, please be very careful and sure that you have no triggers before reading this. there are no phobia triggers (i am pretty sure). welcome to me narrating my life through another person, because that is what i do.Concluida
From Books I've Never Wrote
𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘆, 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗦𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘆 <3 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘃𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 ! like the title says... this is nothing more than texts/extracts of books that I have never actually wrote. This is mostly a few thoughts or ideas that have spiralled through my head at some stage, and I've then typed them out on my laptop and published them to Wattpad. Feel free to read and give me your thoughts on whatever crap I have written down. Love from eIIoquence xx [highest rankings] #𝟭 𝗶𝗻 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗱 #𝟯 𝗶𝗻 𝗲𝘅𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘀 #𝟰 𝗶𝗻 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁𝘆𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 #𝟳 𝗶𝗻 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗺𝘀Concluida
Abigail
(In editing) She's depressed. She's anorexic. She's suicidal. She's insecure. Abigail has grown up with her three brothers and James, never meeting her parents, who abandoned her at birth. Her brothers were left to take care of her and keep a roof over their heads. Everyday they struggle to take care of Abigail, while working to keep them in their home. Life for them is hard. Life for Abigail is even harder. She has a dark mind and not by choice. Somewhere along the way she's developed these feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. Everyday is a struggle for her and just getting out of bed is a success. She meets Zach, a bad boy with a bad reputation. He starts off as a tutor, just to help her out, out of pity. But eventually feelings get involved and Abigail finds herself liking a boy for the first time in her life. Things get serious and she somehow learns about his drug dealing business. Everything gets hectic and Abigail doesn't know what to do with her life anymore. Or if she even wants to live.Concluida
Rita becomes strict with her eating, everyday the number of calories she eats gets lower and the amount of time she does cardio gets higher. She practices of managing her starvation by distracting it and never catches a break on the scale. Nobody is aware of it, it was something Rita doesn't want her friends or family to know, hiding her body from them didn't last long. Her mother noticed the dramatic weight change on her body. She tries to help her get back to her eating and tells her many times that she's "perfectly skinny" but nothing works. Her mother puts her foot down as Rita started to get ill, her mom takes her to a mental health hospital. She deals with consequences from her nurses and other patients.
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