Paper Wings
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- Parts 10
Ongoing31m
Last published Fri, Jun 12, 2020
Is beauty only skin deep? I guess that depends on how we are raised...
Have you ever floated endlessly in a sea of thoughts? Trapped, stumbling within your own mind. Go ahead, scream. No one can hear you. These demons are in beaded deep in my thin pale skin. Not visible to the naked eye. But things you can't see aren't real, are they? At least that's my mother's philosophy.
You see it's difficult when your mother is everything that you are not. Beautiful, loved, and wanted. The definition of perfect....
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#594
thoughtsandfeelings
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It was under control
Jules Hart returns to the psychiatric ward, her life has fallen apart once again. She had it under control. Or was it all just her imagination? She encounters trials and tribulations with her eating disorder recovery, being forced into situations like no other; ending in painful repercussions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. After deciding she no longer wants help, Jules escapes the psychiatric ward; resulting in her attempting to take her own life. The consequence of her actions, broke Tom's heart in the process, all the while he held her sick body. Her life has led her down the path of having to recover from not only the torturous eating disorder, but the addictive self harm and torment of the suicidal ideation. Let's just hope Jules gets her happy ending... ~ "GET OFF ME! GET THE HELL OFF ME! I DON'T LIKE BEING TOUCHED! GET THE FUCK OFF ME. TOM PLEASE HELP ME. TOM! PLEASE GET THEM OFF ME. I'M SO SCARED!" Jules's fragile body was making a forceful connection with the cold and unsympathetic ground. Her bloodline exiting and tainting her body and all of the surroundings. Her painful and emotional screams echoed the white corridor, while Jules's body shook and shivered, and dizzy spells with blurry covered eyes; forced her body and mind to experience a feeling of disconnection. The fit of fear that swirled in the pit of Jules's stomach made her head jolt violently side to side, along with front and back; causing her forehead to strike the floor. ~TW: Eating disorder, suicide and self harm mentioned throughout~Complete
THIN ✔︎
She's never had problems, until recently. Recently, her world has been falling apart, but from the inside out. Turned into a depressed girl with serious eating disorder problems, all she wants to do is let go of everything, and be thin. Lighter than air and be the skinniest of all. Slowly, she's drifting away from the real world into a world of her own, and pieces of her every day disappear and then she realises, but it's too late. Or is it? It's never too late to change... Right? The only person that can fix her is herself. *trigger warning* highest ranking in poe / 20Complete
Release
This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.Complete
Everything That Glitters Ain't Gold
Everything that glitters ain't gold & everything that shines ain't silver. There's not always a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow. But a rainbow will always appear after every shower of rain. It's not always noticeable because the beauty of it is way over our heads. But the fact that the rainbow is an illusion of beauty of mother nature. What is natural beauty? What is beauty inside and out? What does it mean when someone thinks your perfect when you're not? Is it the confusion you get when looking at the rainfall while the sun beats its way through just to see you? *PROCEED READING THIS STORY WITH CAUTION*Complete
Ana
Life as a child was amazing. Your weight didn't matter. Your clothes didn't matter. Your parents money didn't matter. All that mattered was who you were going to play with, but that's all gone now. My sister hates me, my mom has no time for me, and my dad, well he left me. My life has been one whirlwind after another. Except I'm content with it, till it all comes crashing down. Every television, billboard, and magazine is covered with models. Models that are supposed to be role models, for us. Perfect face, perfect body, perfect life. I have none of those things. All my life I've never cared that I was over weight, and didn't wear makeup. Who knew a boy could change all of that? That's when I decided to starve myself, force myself to look like the girls in the magazines. Who knew all I was doing was slowly killing myself? Life likes to play games, except my game is called Ana and I don't think I will survive. (unedited) Cover by: MadHatter_25Complete
I've Got It Under Control
Jules is forced to live a life in the psychiatric ward after her eating disorder nearly ends up taking her life. Stuck in a life that is contained within four walls, while she fights her battle with an eating disorder and depression, trying to gain control of the demanding voice in her head. Finally having to admit that she can't do it herself and faces vulnerability by doing so. She endures love and heartbreak but only she can save herself. Will Jules recover and finally be free of the voice that has become the burden of her life? ~ I've Got It Under Control That's what she thought. That's what they all think when it first starts. They had control, had, past tense. Now they wish they did. Their bodies are screaming for help but their head is saying otherwise. Hunger coursed through Jules's body, the rumble of her stomach was like a thunderstorm, violent and painful. It scared her, yet it also satisfied her. She started to skip breakfast, and once she realised she didn't need breakfast, she knew she wouldn't need lunch nor dinner. ~TW: Goes into depth about eating disorders, mentions about suicide and self harm. View at your own risk~Complete
With Love, S
I'm not sure how to start this; to be honest, I'm not even sure how to write this. If there's one place we can start, my brain, the most fragile yet sacred thing I've ever owned. Again, I'm unsure how or where to start with this, but let's start by being honest. I think a lot, and I'm sure you do too, so let's think together. (this is an original piece)![California Eyes [Taylor x OC]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/387878320-256-k332341.jpg)
California Eyes [Taylor x OC]
~ got a girl with california eyes and I thought that she could really be the one this time. But I never got the chance to make her mine because she *is too* in love with little thin white lines ~ They say beauty is pain but is it really? Is less always more? It seems to be that way, at least for Taylor Swift, who strikes to meet every beauty standard there is to meet. In the world of fame she lives in, her drastic weight loss doesn't go by unnoticed, and only hours after the final show of her successful Eras Tour she finds herself in a psych ward, forced to face her relentless struggles with food. Not long after the events of the famous singer being dragged to the psych ward, Maeve - a homeless drug addict roaming the streets of LA - is met with a similar fate as she wakes up in that same psych ward after an unintentional overdose. How will things work out for them? Can they win their internal battles? Will they make each other's lives even more miserable in the process or could they actually find comfort in one another?Complete
𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀
Rita becomes strict with her eating, everyday the number of calories she eats gets lower and the amount of time she does cardio gets higher. She practices of managing her starvation by distracting it and never catches a break on the scale. Nobody is aware of it, it was something Rita doesn't want her friends or family to know, hiding her body from them didn't last long. Her mother noticed the dramatic weight change on her body. She tries to help her get back to her eating and tells her many times that she's "perfectly skinny" but nothing works. Her mother puts her foot down as Rita started to get ill, her mom takes her to a mental health hospital. She deals with consequences from her nurses and other patients.Complete
THE MORNING AFTER
"My love for you runs so deep, It is hard for me to even sleep. Every time I see your eye, All I want to do is cry. When I touch your lovely skin, I get so nervous from within" a continuation of midnight thoughts my previous book if you haven't read it please do you won't regret it.much loveComplete
Jules Hart returns to the psychiatric ward, her life has fallen apart once again. She had it under control. Or was it all just her imagination? She encounters trials and tribulations with her eating disorder recovery, being forced into situations like no other; ending in painful repercussions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. After deciding she no longer wants help, Jules escapes the psychiatric ward; resulting in her attempting to take her own life. The consequence of her actions, broke Tom's heart in the process, all the while he held her sick body. Her life has led her down the path of having to recover from not only the torturous eating disorder, but the addictive self harm and torment of the suicidal ideation. Let's just hope Jules gets her happy ending... ~ "GET OFF ME! GET THE HELL OFF ME! I DON'T LIKE BEING TOUCHED! GET THE FUCK OFF ME. TOM PLEASE HELP ME. TOM! PLEASE GET THEM OFF ME. I'M SO SCARED!" Jules's fragile body was making a forceful connection with the cold and unsympathetic ground. Her bloodline exiting and tainting her body and all of the surroundings. Her painful and emotional screams echoed the white corridor, while Jules's body shook and shivered, and dizzy spells with blurry covered eyes; forced her body and mind to experience a feeling of disconnection. The fit of fear that swirled in the pit of Jules's stomach made her head jolt violently side to side, along with front and back; causing her forehead to strike the floor. ~TW: Eating disorder, suicide and self harm mentioned throughout~
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