Internal Warfare //Lashton fanfic//

I pace back and forth, Luke staring up at me from the couch with a hurt and desperate look in his eye. He needs answers. He needs to know the truth and he wants to know. He wants to know why i've blocked him out after nine years of being so close. He wants to know why i've become so isolated from the world.

"Ashton, please.. Please I can't live like this anymore! I need you, I need my best friend back!.." He cries out in exasperation, a single tear rolling down his slightly pale face.

"L-Luke, you don't understa-"

"You're right Ashton. I don't. So make me understand! Help me understand.. I just want to help you, please.. "

Little did this poor 17 year old Australian boy, know, that he cant help me. He cant fight this storm, swirling into a black cloud of pure hatred and love inside of me.

" You cant help me.. " I respond softly.

" See, there it is.. The assumptions, Ash you cant.. you cant just keep doing that.. I want to at least try- Let me be here for you.. " He shakes his head, as if he's on the verge of falling to floor and breaking down, right here in front of me.

" Luke I can't let y-you, j-just stop.. "

"Ashton- "

"I c-can't, please stop!.. "

" No! Ashton I was hurt, alone, scared and in desperate need of you by my side, yet you weren't.. Why?! Why are you avoiding me! Why are you avoiding the world! Fucking Christ, what are you so afraid of-?!" He cries, standing up quickly.

" I'm in love with you dammit!.." I instantly yell out. I look up at him, my eyes watering but holding back the urge of letting any tears fall. I had to take a minute to comprehend what I had just screamed out at him. Although I understood quite well, what I had said. And I understood that what I had just said, I meant. I speak softly and gently, as my voice comes out in a small quiver.

" I'm in love with you, Lucas.."

And this, my friend, is where I knew.. I had completely. And totally. Fucked up.