The Hidden Village (on hold)

When someone experiences something traumatizing, the first thing they impulsively think of is, why me?

But what's considered as traumatizing? Getting a bad grade on a test? A family member dying?

Or maybe something more sinister, more painful.

Such as domestic violence, or perhaps rape.

Those are far worse than getting a bad grade on a test.

I would know.

Because I experience something considered as traumatizing everyday.

But to me it's just normal. What can I say? I was raised that way.

I know that it's wrong, but it's not like I can do anything to prevent it.

Sure, it hurts. But after a while you get used to the pain and it doesn't hurt as much.

Being abused in both of my lives helped me in a way.

I understand how cruel the world is and how selfish people are, stepping on others to gain what they desire.

You could say I have trust issues, but I believe that it's common sense. Everyone has their desires, some darker than others.

You wouldn't understand what I'm talking about until you've experienced what I have. Always being the one at the bottom. Always the one being stepped on by others. Never getting the chance to fulfill my desires.

And it's corrupted me.

I don't trust.

I don't care.

I don't love.

I don't feel.

I don't speak.