A Look Inside My Head
- Reads 254
- Votes 61
- Parts 52
Complete Mon, Oct 22, 20181h 4m
It started on a Monday.
I don't know what happened after that. I started off normal. I was still normal, wasn't I? I don't know, I just don't know.
I was happy, I should be happy, but I'm not. Maybe I am?
It's like there's a blackness in my mind, and I've covered it with yellow. I hate the colour yellow, but it's what I am. It's all I am now.
My friends were laughing, I was laughing, but it didn't feel like it. My face felt tight as I stretched into a smile, yet it fooled them. I shouted with them, tears coming to my eyes. They laughed harder at that, everyone crying out my name, pointing at me, tears coming to their own eyes. The hole in my heart widened. I didn't know whether they were tears of sadness or happiness.
Everyone was rocking back and forth, and slowly, they seemed to form into looming monsters, with wide eyes and pale faces.
We stood up, hearing the bell. The sun hurt my eyes. I ran after them, shouting with them. I was loud, too loud. My own voice hurt my head. I didn't want the attention on me, so I dragged it to my fake self; my mask. I hated myself, and what I was doing.
I had walked off again. I'm not sure why, but as I blinked, my feet decided that we were not going that way. I ignored them, and they thought it was a joke.
They screamed my name, startling me, making me sprint over to them. I hadn't realised how far I had really wondered off. I joined my group, only to wish I had kept walking.
They were laughing again, their laughter hurting my head. It shattered my thoughts, echoed around my head, deafened any emotions. I shrieked with them. We were like monkeys, chattering together. Maybe not; we were too dangerous for that. Monsters.
Pale, looming monsters.
(Updates everyday day!!!)
(Oh, and the picture on the title page doesn't belong to me!!! Credit to whoever it belongs to!!!)
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This is created because of the importance of sharing your thoughts. It saves lives. It's also created from the observations of those around me and my own self. It comes from a simple girl (or complex? Can't decide yet), however fairly young, but premature. Did you just assume it's my story? It's not popular Wattpad writing (or however you may label Wattpad), but where else can I share this? I'm still young after all. Unexperienced. I need the support to publish this aid. There aren't any restrictions on who should be reading this. It might be too explicit, or rather "not-for-the-pampered". The pampered can go ahead and read it, perhaps they can understand but never really relate. For some it's a wake-up call, for others, it's a connection; it's a reflection. My stylistic word choice is intended because this expresses who I am at the very moment of writing--raw emotions, a human full of errors, my current capabilities. I will break grammar. I will break logic. It might not make sense---more like it'll be awkward---but it'll fit, just like everything "wrong" in this story. After all, the whole thing is a norm-breaker. I'm not going to explicitly state what I mean. It's up to your interpretation. I wrote this in a way for me. But it could also be for you. It may be about me. It may not be about me. I may be writing this. Someone else may be writing this too. There may not be one author. Some things are just random thoughts. Some things are stories of the muted "others". I encourage everyone to seek help and speak up.
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