When There Was Me And You | Part 1
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  • Parts 45
  • Time 1h 4m
  • Reads 3,378
  • Votes 452
  • Parts 45
  • Time 1h 4m
Complete, First published Aug 03, 2018
Mature
You were my First Love; toxic, unhealthy for my state. 
But i learned Love from you; you taught me what it meant to spend nights 
crying at the edge of my bed and how it felt to really smile.

*************************
This is a collection of poetry for one series- love, pain, toxicity, heartbreak and memory. This is the first experience at love I had. I share with you my experiences, my thoughts, my recollections, my struggle and everything I felt. If you grew up having been deprived of love and then suddenly found yourself carrying what seems like the world's amount of love for someone else-  I don't doubt you won't be able to relate, at one point in this poetry book you'll find yourself in me.

*******
#1 in heartstrings/43 (6th september)
#3 in nostalgia (20th march)
#15 in poems/5.7k (11th september)
#4 in experience (30th November)
#5 in journal (june 2019)
#2 in deep (june 2019)
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[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression