Lost In My Thoughts
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- Parts 30
Ongoing19m
Last published Sat, May 25, 2019
Love is a fickle mistress...
As I go through this I want to write about it...I need some way to explain it...understand it and hopefully make sense of it all. Feel free to read and enjoy my mess of emotion
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I had survived the first. That was then; this is now. The blindfold of so many pills slowly died away and first though my finger then my head, a passion, a hurt and a need filled me as every moment was consumed with words; every breath with wisps of ink. But they were not all captured and somewhere in the deep abyss of living, lies the unspoken, almost unfelt feelings of decades in months. This is the half-empty account off all those nights from December through into the new year and the end of March. ...I pains me to share it. But it also makes it just not my problem anymore and that is something I long for- freedom and peace. Please note that all grammatical and linguistic, as well as those in punctuation and spelling or placing of words were intentional. If you LIKE this and want me to write a commentary on each poem and picture (as in my previous collection Apfel), please show me in comments and votes :) PLEASE DO NOT COPY any of the poetry or pictures.Complete
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~Trust Me ~
"I want a divorce." And just hearing him say that my whole world that seemed to revolve around him stopped. Gathering myself I barely managed to speak in a voice that even I could not recognise. I couldn't comprehend anything going around me. "Wh..hy?" As soon as the words left my mouth he threw the file and the photographs spread across the floor. And those photographs had me in compromising positions with not one but several men. Looking at those photos I looked straight into his eyes. Disgust and hatred. The only emotions I could see. Taking a deep breath I composed myself and tried to keep my face void of the emotions I felt at that moment. Hurt and immense pain. If he didn't trust me then he has no right to see me vulnerable too. "Is this the only reason why you want to divorce me? No other except this?" It was foolish of me to ask him but I had to make sure. Also for me trust comes before love. If he doesn't trust me I don't even want to save the relationship. "Is this not enough you whore? What else can I expect from a slut and a gold digger like you! I knew it from the start that all you showed was just a facade. Your innocence, kindness, it was all fake. I just don't believe how can I be so dumb." Was I hurt? No I was broken beyond repair. My heart ached. I felt like I was seconds away from collapsing. I had far exceeded the limit of hurt and pain. I was so powerless in that moment that I couldn't even fight with him. Love makes you strong. I have heard and felt that countless times but they always forget to mention what comes after that. Love makes you weak too. I couldn't shout at him because I loved him. But I had to be brave. For myself. ************************************************** Is love enough for two people to be together or is there something more important than love? This is story of Xander and Sophie who loved each other but still couldn't be together. Because more important than love is trust. © All rights reservedComplete
Tangled Up
"I was holding onto him thinking the pain was worth it, my hands and heart ached trying to keep something which killed me not so softly. But as I started to let go of him, my soul felt lighter. And my heart? It'll take it's own time.", she gave a soft smile. You came into my life, Making it colourful than it was, You made me feel good, Like a blooming flower. But just like every season, This season changed too, You left me like a withering flower, Making me drown in my own pain. My mind still thinks about you, My heart still hurts, Don't want someone to mend it now, I can't give the same love back. Love is complex, funny and confusing. People often mix the idea of love with actually being in love and end up getting heartbroken. You can love a person and not realize it as you let them go while holding onto something that isn't yours.Complete
Chances Of Truth ☑️
"It's too much to remember everything and everyone, all pain and hurt is killing me day by day little by little. I wish I could remove all the pain and move on in my life. I wish I could find an eraser or Better a delete button, so that I could start from beginning, without any misery or pain." ......................................................................................... "Hey Eva, you know you can trust me, right? " He asked me again cupping my cheeks, I can't let him continue this. It had to stop now or it would be too late. I can't risk everyone's life specially his. If hurting him means, him being alive then I would do it without thinking. Again and again. "Eva are you even listening to me?" Noah asked moving his face closer. From this close I can even see the scar which he told me about, its just below the border line of his hair, it can be easily conceal but from this close its more real. His eyes, they are magical. I would love to look at them all the time and never get tired of looking at in them. No, I cannot do this to him, I can't be selfish, I have to do something this time. "No" I answer and walked away from him. .............................................................Complete
Inevitable Heartbreak
Invalidation is something I know too well, Love only gives you heartbreak. She is just a girl who keeps to herself, afraid that if she falls she'll never get back up. But Love is something she needs to feel alive. Love is in the songs she listens to, the books she reads, and the art she draws. Her heart is so big she can can't see past the goodness she sees in everyone, but what she doesn't know is that everyone has a darkness to them. Him on the other hand, he thinks the thought of love is utterly ridiculous. There is no need for it, it's such a waste of time. Why would he waste his precious time running after a girl? He makes a bet this little miss Sunshine can become diminished he'll have anything done to have her sun set. At least that's what he thought until he got to know her. Until he saw that there's darkness underneath her sunny exterior. Will she find out that everything was a lie? Just a game to him. Will he leave her broken? Maybe she can melt his icy heart, or maybe he'll end her reign. Maybe it'll be both.
I had survived the first. That was then; this is now. The blindfold of so many pills slowly died away and first though my finger then my head, a passion, a hurt and a need filled me as every moment was consumed with words; every breath with wisps of ink. But they were not all captured and somewhere in the deep abyss of living, lies the unspoken, almost unfelt feelings of decades in months. This is the half-empty account off all those nights from December through into the new year and the end of March. ...I pains me to share it. But it also makes it just not my problem anymore and that is something I long for- freedom and peace. Please note that all grammatical and linguistic, as well as those in punctuation and spelling or placing of words were intentional. If you LIKE this and want me to write a commentary on each poem and picture (as in my previous collection Apfel), please show me in comments and votes :) PLEASE DO NOT COPY any of the poetry or pictures.
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