HOW TO NOT BE DEPRESSED

Now before you start this book, I want you to take a look at yourself and think: "Am I depressed?"

If you're here simply because you made some stupid mistake or got a B on your recent test, then I would like for you to kindly close the book and think about why you're here. If not, continue reading.

Now there are many kinds of depression. There is major depression, in which you actually want to kill yourself in the next minute and you have a loaded gun right next to you. If that is the case, this book urges you to call the Suicide Prevention number that can be obtained in seconds through Siri or the web.

Just in case, here is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

1-800-273-8255

Now there is the common type of depression. You are just very, very, sad, sad enough to be depressed but not quite. Those are the people who want to die but when put on a 13-story building and asked to jump, not all would do it. You're just awfully sad and angry. Do not worry! This book also welcomes people who feel that way.

Except for those who got a B on their recent and claims they're depressed. Those people can go sit in the corner and start thinking about their bland life.