Obsession

I was never the woman i am today.It seemed that the fearless, beautiful, cheerful, loving woman with me had died.
Standing in front of the woman i stare at my reflection. Rough scrapy hairs full of knots. Chapped lips with a gash at the bottom lip at the side. Skin full of cuts. Some new, some old, some had just healed while some where healing them selves. My dress had tattered here and there and to say that still my wardrobe is full of clothes would be an understatement. Because i don't feel like wearing them. I don't because i don't want to wear it for him. I don't want to beautify myself for him. Infact i hate my beauty for attracting him.
I fear every evening. When the sunsets. When it becomes dark. When the dog cries letting me know of one thing. That one thing that still gives me goosebumps. Those goosebumps that let my numb body know that i have not yet died out of shock. That shock that filterates my mind in to thinking that much more is to come. That thing. I hate it so much. Do you want to know what it is?

"HIS ARRIVAl"