My Mirror

One day, I started to ask some of my friends " what means mirror to you" most of them were wondering this question,one of them answered me "my mirror is like a friend to me, I take it in everywhere I go" other said "mirror which I see myself in" "my mirror it's the only thing that saw me crying" "mirror something I can't live without" etc... and one of them asked me " and you? what mirror means to you" silence for a minute and I replied "Anna"
"ohh hope she rests in peace!"

Anna ? who is she ? Your bestfriend ?
she died at 15/5/2016 of cancer , or maybe I killed her, sometimes friends fight a lot and get jealous from each other but could jealousy make one of them kill the other ?most of people love mirror but me ? my mirror is like a terrible nightmare, I don't even know how to stop it or to change into a good one;

who are you ??
my name is leyana; 17 years old and yeah i'm suicidal and I tried to suicide 8 times but I failed and yeah I know i'm psychopa patient too.am I lonely ? I don't know i'm just didn't found someone who can feel my pain and be next to me when I need to talk