What Do I Do Now?

What happens when the one you love, care about, cherish and would absolutely die for, punches their own ticket early? Where do you go? Who do you go to? Who is there to talk to? You're lost, helpless, dazed, numb and confused. How dare anyone have the nerve to tell you that everything happens for a reason, to say there'll always be someone there for you to go to, to tell you that you'll be okay. How can you be protected from your own thoughts and memories? How can you go on, knowing you could've tried to help the one who needed someone the most. Talking about it would be like pouring salt on an open wound, it's painful, dreadful and pure torture. Will you ever talk? Could you ever tell someone how you perceive the situation? Or do you keep the emotions buried inside until your last breath? How can you trust you won't punch your own ticket just to be with the one you lost? How can you live, with them dead..?